ElektraHere Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 THIS IS A TOTAL MUST READ FOR THOSE WHO ARE REELING WITH LETTING SOMEONE THEY LOVE GO!!!! I found this in the March issue of Elle magazine. It is about Terrence Howard. He is an actor who was nominated for an Oscar this year for Hustle & Flow. He also was in the movie Crash. He was married and then divorced and then worked on getting his ex back and they remarried. Unfortunately things didnt work out the 2nd time. Here is an exerpt of how he was able to love his ex so much he let her go. Then he came accross some love letters sent to his wife by her high school sweetheart who had suddenly come back on the scene. "They were the most beautiful things I'd ever seen in my life," he says. "They broke my heart, but they touched me at the same time." One night during one of those infrequent visits home he took his sleeping wife's cell phone, found her suitor's number and called it. Terrence told the bewildered man, "I've never seen her as happy as when she comes in the house after talking to you on the phone." He asked him "Do you mean what you wrote in the letters?" Silence. "That you would love her forever and ever?" And he said "Yes, I do." So Terrence told him "I'll get out of the way." Terrence never thought he would love someone enough to say that. Terrence then went back into the bedroom gave his wife a kiss on the cheek and said, "Somebody wants to talk to you." He then put the phone to her ear and he packed his bags and left. So the whole point of this exerpt is that you can love someone so much that letting them go is the ultimate loving thing you can do for that person. I read the whole article and must say it really made me think "Wow that is the ultimate loving gift to a person, their happiness." Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 My first reaction is "What a *beep!* Keeping in touch with her old flame while she was married!" My next reaction was, "Terrance is very dignified." He really did the right thing - for himself and for his wife. As hard as it may be, it is pointless to chase after someone who doesn't love you back. Letting her go was for the best. Link to comment
keenan Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 Very poignant. I like it. It's also the stuff movies are made of. I'm sure there are tons, but Casablanca, Lost in Translation...and even that recent Meryl Streep & Uma Thurman movie (Prime?) leap to mind. There's also some old Ayn Rand novella with the same theme. Anyway, my point is that it's very brave and wonderful...and sad. Thanks! Link to comment
winter2005 Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 Well terrance could have loved her the same way or more apparently he must have had other plans.... Link to comment
ElektraHere Posted March 25, 2006 Author Share Posted March 25, 2006 Winter I think you missed the point on this one. Link to comment
Spawn Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 well ya pointless to chase after someone who doesn't love you. Lettin go is good if done in the proper manner. I did it in a little rude way but atleast giving her some reason to feel angry for me would help her get over me sooner than later. Told her not to contact me ever.......it won't be right on my part to be involved in any form in her life. i will always miss my ex, and i do hope both she and her first bf really works it out incase they are together after all the differences are sort out, she actually loves him more. Lifes strange but u have to do the right thing...... Link to comment
SilverManic Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 He must be a strong person to just get out of the way and leave. That would hurt. ~S. Link to comment
RandomAdvisor Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 My first reaction is "What a *beep!* Keeping in touch with her old flame while she was married!" My next reaction was, "Terrance is very dignified." He really did the right thing - for himself and for his wife. As hard as it may be, it is pointless to chase after someone who doesn't love you back. Letting her go was for the best. Couldn't have said it better myself. Link to comment
cingularity83 Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 That sounds like something I would do.....I like stuff like that, even though it takes alot of courage....I remember my last words to my ex was " who ever you end up being with, promise me its someone that will treat you nice and really care about you...." and with those words I made my exit and that was the last time I ever saw her again.......its been 10 months now and 4 months since we last talked...(well a text from her)....but like I'm learning things that tear you up build you back up stronger....I hope to not hear from her again.....,but hope that life is treating her well wherever she may be....... Link to comment
blender Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 Sorry, I read that the reason they broke up the marriage the first time around was because TERRANCE was not faithful and I guess he was not so "good at being married". When they got back together it was AFTER she was "back in touch" with her highschool love, not "cheating with him" and the fact that T.Howard "checked her cel phone and called a number" is a sign of a man that did NOT respect her privacy, after all the guy wrote those love letters years ago.. and Terrance just wanted to "control" the situation. His wife was not "cheating" with this guy, she was just in touch with him. And Terrance couldn't accpet an "honest man from the past" to be in his wife's life..(because it's such a contrast to him) that's what it really comes down to, perhaps he's got such an ego he had to ''paint a different picture" of why the marriage went south the second time.. he was just looking for a "reason" to run. I'm sure his wife was devasted when he handed her the phone and started packing, SHE was trying to make the marriage work AFTER she had been devasted by him. She was not "cheating" just in touch with a friend from the past during her own heartache. Link to comment
Orlander Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 We all need to be careful while dating someone. If a significant other comes back into their life, it is usually a sign something is wrong with the relationship. That is what this story about Terrance sounds like happened. There is a great story about emotional cheating in this month's issue of Psychology Today magazine. Thank you for posting this Elektra. Orlander Link to comment
latina07 Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 wow!!!! He is sooooooooo hot!!! What the hell is wrong with her. this sucks you cant have contact with stars. i would definitely console him!!! that is very sweet of him. and yes i would do the same thing. i would be extremly hurt but im not selfish so i would get out of their way and just find myself someone that will love me and not cheat on me with an old flame Link to comment
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