Quality men, where are they?

[Esmeralda]

Don't want to do the Bar or Online scene anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions of where I can meet a quality man? You know, someone who is not married, separated, an egomaniac, a player or someone with commitment issues. I will be joining a Volleyball league in the city in a couple of weeks but can't think of anything else I can do.

[Scout]

Well, I actually met my current boyfriend at a bar; he was the drummer for a band that was playing the night I first saw him. We didn't exactly meet then, but I really got hooked on the band, and continued to see them whenever they would play. Ended up offering to do some publicity for them, which I did for about two months before I started dating my boyfriend. So much for keeping it professional, lol, but he's such a great guy I would have been stupid to pass him up for that reason.

 

Point is, go to events and places you like and enjoy, and you increase your chances of meeting a kindred spirit.

[TiredMan]

Are those (the ones u listed) the criteria? Or are there more than that?

[Dako]

Sounds like you want to avoid weeding through us undesirables and find Mr. Quality. Sounds good. Just find a place where only quality people gather, and pick one. Wish I could help, but can't think of such a place.

[Esmeralda]

There is much more. Honesty, integrity and compassion are just a few of the personality traits I look for. Problem is that all these features have to be wrapped up in a package I'm attracted to. The good news is that the guy does not necessarily have to be gorgeous...I just have to be attracted to him.

[Esmeralda]

Dako, I hope you don't think of yourself as undesirable. Remember, if you don't like yourself, what makes you think someone else will?

To me, an undesirable is someone who's not honest, does not have integrity, etc.

[jensxcom]

Hi, i see you live in New York, so do i. It is so difficult to find a decent man in NY. I think more than most cities. I hate the whole bar scene/club scene here myself. Did it when i was younger.

I think the volleyball idea is good, maybe join a gym as well, take up something.

Central Park when it gets warmer is a good idea- jog, rollerblade, sun. I met some decent guys that way last year.

Guys in NY are not friendly at all, they dont like approaching women I notice, usually have angry faces and keep walking.

I spent alot of time in California, I met more men there than my whole life in nY. They smile and just start talking to you, more honest and friendly.

All of the men I had nice experiences with dating are all Non NYers, all came from another state or country.

[annie24]

I guess there are several things you can do. Like Scout said, you can definitely meet quality men in bars. After all, quality people like to have a drink after work sometimes too! Maybe best to go to a bar though, to have fun with friends, as opposed to the goal of meeting "Mr. Perfect." You'll be sorely disappointed.

 

I heard an interesting idea. Tell everyone you know that you decided this year, you wanted to meet Mr. Right. Tell EVERYONE! Including your friends, family, neighbors, dentist, chiropracter, mailman, etc. Tell 200 people. Ask if they know a great single man they could introduce you to. Now, don't tell them that you've asked 200 people. Just tell them you're only asking a few select friends and acquiantances

 

Throw some dinner parties and ask all of your guests to invite some single men.

 

Join a volunteer organization. Get a hyperactive, over friendly dog and walk him in the park, and past every fire station, police station, law library, and coffee shop in town. Make sure this dog jumps on every guy you find remotely interesting

[Esmeralda]

Ok, you undestand my plight...maybe I should move to Cali lol

[jensxcom]

Honestly I have been thinking about it. Its just extremely hard to find a decent guy in NYC that has great qualities. Maybe thats why theres so many single women here.

[Esmeralda]

I call it the "Manhattanite syndrome" lol People may have someone but they think there's someone better out there...hence the "commitment phobia". Sickening, I tell ya LOL

[annie24]

hmmm... well, maybe moving isn't such a bad option. Not gauranteeing you'll meet Mr. Right in San Diego either.... but, maybe it's time for a change of scenery?

[redhook]

You could always join a single group at a church. Nothing is guaranteed however. I think the best people come along when you are not looking.

[Esmeralda]

You could always join a single group at a church. Nothing is guaranteed however. I think the best people come along when you are not looking.

 

 

Thanks, that is a great suggestion. Unfortunately, I'm agnostic.

[r1]

I dont think it matters where anyone of us are. You know, quality people are everywhere. Sometimes when you stop looking, it will come by surprise... hope you find one

[annie24]

Thanks, that is a great suggestion. Unfortunately, I'm agnostic.

 

I'm SURE that there must be an agnostic's discussion group somewhere in NYC!

[Esmeralda]

I'm SURE that there must be an agnostic's discussion group somewhere in NYC!

 

You know, I never thought of that lol

Thanks! I'll ck it out.

[Prenkle]

I meet quite a few people when I joined somes games (chess, scrabble, poker, etc) and book clubs. While most of them are older and married, you'll occasionally run accross a few single men. Plus, even if you don't they might know some people they can introduce you to.

 

So pick up some new hobbies and first just try associating - being at the right place at the right time and see where the chips fall.

[Scout]

There is much more. Honesty, integrity and compassion are just a few of the personality traits I look for. Problem is that all these features have to be wrapped up in a package I'm attracted to. The good news is that the guy does not necessarily have to be gorgeous...I just have to be attracted to him.

 

I'd definitely suggest volunteering with some non-profits and local goings-on in your community, then. Anyone who will give his time away for free to help a worthy cause likely has compassion, at least. And people with compassion tend to have integrity...and of course, to have integrity, one must be honest and trustworthy.

[Scout]

Thanks, that is a great suggestion. Unfortunately, I'm agnostic.

 

Well...if you're only agnostic and not atheist, you could still give church a try. There are plenty of progressive, liberal churches, especially in the Unitarian denomination.

[Esmeralda]

I meet quite a few people when I joined somes games (chess, scrabble, poker, etc) and book clubs. While most of them are older and married, you'll occasionally run accross a few single men. Plus, even if you don't they might know some people they can introduce you to.

 

So pick up some new hobbies and first just try associating - being at the right place at the right time and see where the chips fall.

 

Hmmmm, I must be dense...I never thought about joining a book club...and I'm an avid reader!

 

This website rocks!

[jensxcom]

That is so true, honeslty I have been guilty of it myself, probably alot of why I'm single now...

I'm looking fwd to the warmer weather, i find its a little easier to meet guys here when its nicer outside- more outdoor activities. But its a brutal place to meet a decent guy, all my friends agree.

 

 

 

I call it the "Manhattanite syndrome" lol People may have someone but they think there's someone better out there...hence the "commitment phobia". Sickening, I tell ya LOL

[Esmeralda]

I'd definitely suggest volunteering with some non-profits and local goings-on in your community, then. Anyone who will give his time away for free to help a worthy cause likely has compassion, at least. And people with compassion tend to have integrity...and of course, to have integrity, one must be honest and trustworthy.

 

 

That is very true. I've heard of volunteering to build homes for the poor. I think I'll do that this summer...it should be a lot of fun!

[DN]

Of course, once you have met 'quality men' it is important to make sure that you are a 'quality woman' because they may be as discriminating as you are.

[Esmeralda]

That is so true, honeslty I have been guilty of it myself, probably alot of why I'm single now...

I'm looking fwd to the warmer weather, i find its a little easier to meet guys here when its nicer outside- more outdoor activities. But its a brutal place to meet a decent guy, all my friends agree.

 

It's ironic, because everyone who is single comes here in the hopes of meeting someone.