deejay74 Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 this couldnt have come at a better time! i've never posted in this forum but now i need to. i have a profile on link removed and this one cute girl sent me a message today. the thing is, i never know how long to wait to respond. i am ALWAYS online at work and at home so normally, if it were a friend who sent me an email or whatever, i would reply immediately. but since this is a potential "date" scenario, i don't want to come accross desperate. i feel if i reply right now, or even later today, it may come accross as such but at the same time, i don't like playing games too much. any advice would be appreciated. Link to comment
NJRon Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Hey buddy! So, you decided to try a dating site. Cool deal. If it were me, I would reply in the evening. You get home from work, eat a little, peruse your email and respond. Not really playing a game, just doing it at a time when you can give it the attention it deserves. Plus, you don't want people to think you just hang out on the computer all day like... umm... me. Link to comment
vesper Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 I would respond as BEST and as quickly as you are able to. Girls love an immediate response!! Makes a good impression... good lucK!..I have kept up with your story - nice to hear you are moving on!! must be spring Link to comment
Scout Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Yeah, I would appreciate a fast response, too. Also, girls get lots more emails than guys do in the online dating thing, so take your opportunity while you have it, lol. He who gets there first is likely to leave a longer impression... Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Don't wait. If you come off desperate, it's not because you reply to soon or too often or call too much or any of that. There's a very wrong headed thinking out in the dating world that waiting/timing = scarcity and that somehow translates into desirability. Maybe if you knew the girl for a few months and she was in your circle of friends scarcity might come into play, but cold like this just go at it. You don't want her to forget the reason she msg'd you in the 1st place. Get on the case. Link to comment
Scout Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Don't wait. If you come off desperate, it's not because you reply to soon or too often or call too much or any of that. There's a very wrong headed thinking out in the dating world that waiting/timing = scarcity and that somehow translates into desirability. Maybe if you knew the girl for a few months and she was in your circle of friends scarcity might come into play, but cold like this just go at it. You don't want her to forget the reason she msg'd you in the 1st place. Get on the case. Hallelujah! Well said. Especially the first part of your post about the skewed perceptions in the dating world these days. Link to comment
NJRon Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 If someone forgets the reason she messaged you in 8 hours, then I think she's not worth pursuing. Wait until you can give it the attention it deserves. Typically, work is not the best place for that. Link to comment
Scout Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 If someone forgets the reason she messaged you in 8 hours, then I think she's not worth pursuing. Wait until you can give it the attention it deserves. Typically, work is not the best place for that. Why not? You give some great, well thought-out posts on eNotalone while you're at work. Link to comment
NJRon Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Yeah, but that's because I don't care about you as much as I would someone who was interested in meeting me ( that was a joke in case someone sensitive-like were to read this ) Link to comment
vesper Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 yeah - it's a little bit like marketing - (when you are trying to make an impression or lure a new client!) the faster you respond the better your chances!! Link to comment
Scout Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Notice how ALL the females are advising you don't play a silly waiting game, iwantherback? Link to comment
deejay74 Posted March 15, 2006 Author Share Posted March 15, 2006 well i took your advice (sorry njron, they ARE ladies afterall) and messaged her. i gave her my email address in the message and she replied right away! in her email i she gave me her AIM screen name and i replied with mine and we chatted for several minutes, it went well! so we'll see how this develops. she already asked me if i would be interested in meeting her for a beer (she's a fellow beer lover!). didn't set a date, but she asked if i would be willing. thanks again everyone! Link to comment
Scout Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Yay!!! I'm so excited for you...a fun date would do you really good right now. Now, let me advise one more thing: do NOT talk about your ex, lol. If the subject of relationships comes up, resist the urge to spill your guts. Trust me on this. Link to comment
Scout Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Notice how ALL the females are advising you don't play a silly waiting game, iwantherback? oops, "Heloladies" is definitely not a female, lol. My bad! Link to comment
deejay74 Posted March 15, 2006 Author Share Posted March 15, 2006 Yay!!! I'm so excited for you...a fun date would do you really good right now. Now, let me advise one more thing: do NOT talk about your ex, lol. If the subject of relationships comes up, resist the urge to spill your guts. Trust me on this. yes i agree, it will be a good distraction from thinking about my ex. i just hope that i don't compare the 2 too much. and of course i won't talk about my ex, that would be a definite no-no. thanks for your help again, scout - and to all who replied to this post. Link to comment
NJRon Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 I'm just going to grumble that you didn't take my advice hehe Link to comment
Scout Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 And I'll just sit here with an irritatingly smug look on my face... Link to comment
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