Serious Question Regarding Feminine Male

[MP Meridien]

I need serious advice about whether or not someone I am dating is in the closet or has not yet come to terms with his sexual preference. I am a pretty liberal female, so a man that it is into fashion or grooming (ie metrosexual) is something I can handle. But my latest relationship of a couple of months has some highly showing signs of not working out due to my boyfriend's sexual preference. Namely the following:

 

1) He must concentrate to stay "turned on" when we are having sex (no problems with oral sex). However, in his defense, he has never had sex without a condom.

 

2) He enjoys laying on my back and having me lay on his back. This is usually purely during dry sex (ie no intercourse).

 

3) He usually has to close his eyes in order to climax.

 

Other disconcerting facts, he surrounds himself with female friends. He's not had a serious relationship in over 6 years for longer than 3 months. He's incredibly into fashion. The thought of a woman on her period is enough to make him lose his "turned on" ness. He has made slightly joking comments about giving it to someone in the rear... however when confronted, he was highly defensive mentioning that this repulses him.

 

Any advice? What are some telltale signs someone may be repressing feelings of homosexuality?

[ElektraHere]

Hmmm?? I wouldnt assume he was gay because he surrounds himself with other women and is into fashion. However, the sexual part is sort of a red flag. Out of all your other sexual partners have any of them been that way? I think the getting on his back is a bit odd? The concentration of staying turned on would also concern me. What has he said that he needs to concentrate so much? Have you asked him? The closing of the eyes that is a 50/50 thing guys seem to lose all sort of control at that moment so from closing of the eyes to curling of the toes not sure what I would make of that.

The only thing you can do is ask him. I would hate to have you stay in this relationship and then down the road he decides to come out and leaves you broken hearted.

[robowarrior]

Straight men aren't into fashion, metrosexuals are homosexuals. I agree with you there are a lot of gay factors in this guy. And concentrating in order to stay turned on is unheard off.

 

I say this guy is homosexual 7/10

[ElektraHere]

Robo,

 

Metrosexuals are not homosexuals they are guys who like to take care of themselves. They are more high maintainance but not gay!

[ShySoul]

Nothing listed would indicate he is gay. Closing eyes could just mean he is lost in the pleasure. He may just have lots of female friends because he gets along with them better. Many top designers are males, so men can be just as into fashion as women. The thought of a women on her period isn't a turn on kind of topic (no offense to the ladies). He may be uncomfortable with sex in general or have a problem staying hard. Maybe he has had trouble and bad luck with past relationships.

 

The lying on his back thing, if I'm seeing this right, you are both lying on your stomachs then? Perhaps that is how he masterbates or for some reason it is a pleasurable position for him.

 

Really, the only way to know if a person is gay is to talk about it with them. It is difficult to do, but if this is an issue that concerns you, then you have to do it. Be nice and don't accuse him, but rather talk with him and express your concerns.

[tyler711]

Have to agree with robo warrior. He sounds gay to me. It might be tricky asking him though, because he might just be as confused as you are about his preference. What is a metro sexual?

[ElektraHere]

MP

 

Follow your instincts they are usually right. He may just be stuck so far in the closet that he isnt sure the direction.

 

As for him being a metrosexual I have dated guys who were NOT gay by any means and they had more hair products then me.

 

Also ask those who have knowledge with sex and relationships like your friends about this too. I am sure they would be open with you.

[MP Meridien]

Thanks all. Yeah, it's all fuzzy. I supposed I should just be honest with him about my concerns. Elektra may be right, maybe he's stuck so far in the closet for reasons I don't understand (perhaps his parents are against it or he's still got ideas that a family and kids are in his future). I appreciate all the help... it's really sorting things out for me.