He never takes me to parties or events-why?

[jensxcom]

I have been dating this guy who works for a popular tv station with a good job. I like him besides his job but I was excpecting him to take me to some fun things since he brags so much about it.

He never has. He tells me he knows some famous people but never has introduced me to any.

Then I told him I really wanted to go to this show that was sponsored by his company. He told me he would try and get me tiks he promised.

But he said he couldn't, then i went to visit him at his job and his co-worker told him. "hey we had so much fun at that show"-- meaning the show I reallly wanted to go to, so he lied to me about it.......

I don't understand why he doesn't take me to anything cool. Then he tells me I'm too pretty for him and hes not good enough.

He takes me to dinner but thats about it.

[robowarrior]

He looks like the person who wants to 'avoid' showing you the truth.

 

I had something simular ,this guy kept bragging about how many cars he had, how great everything was, and when i arrived at this house it was a pigstale , really what you are looking for is substance

 

Words with no action = zero.

 

He probably will continue to lie to you about many things, he doesn't do this to hurt you , this is just the way he is. And he will probably continue to bragg about all kinds of things that after investigation won't be substantial at all ,him knowing it all better then anyone else, and all kinds of things which makes you think he should have become a story teller to children.

 

We call these type of people 'sparklers' or show offs if you like, my advice is to take anything that he says with a few packs of salt. A continues relationship is possible if you are in the full knowledge and consolidence that you will have to live with this bragging behaviour.

 

These kind of people aren't 'bad' people, you just need to make it 'very attractive' for him to go somewhere with you, he'll probably say no, just say to him that the alternative is something worse, so please come with me to (x date whatever you have planned) tonight.

[NewPhillyGuy]

This is a tough one. It could be that he has a low self-esteem. 1) His bragging shows that and 2) him saying you're too pretty for him. Maybe he feels like if he brings you to these parties, he's afraid you'll meet someone else "better" esp with all of these famous people running around?

 

Don't read too much into him lying. I really don't think it's because he wanted to ditch you. I'm still thinking he's afraid you'll run off with someone else. Here's what you can try: Next time he starts bragging about the parties, POLITELY confront him about his promise to take you and ask why it didn't happen.

 

You didn't say much at all about WHY you like this guy...You just talked about his parties...If it's more than the parties and you really DO like him, it sounds like you're gonna have to nudge him. Let him know that you're into him. Do your womanly thing, send the signals, etc! If after some solid effort it still doesn't work, move on. He can't be with anybody until he builds himself up anyway.

[renaissancewoman101]

My take on this is maybe he doesnt want to be seen with you, maybe because he is in awe of you or because he doesnt think you are "good" enough to be seen with him. I have known guys who were like that and that is one thing that will bug me a lot. I am not sure. But then I tend to be the one that looks at things as half empty instead of half full.

 

You should tell him upfront that you are not happy that he is doing this to you, and ask him why he is doing it. If you approach him in a friendly, non-confrontational manner, he might relent and see that what he is doing is wrong. If he doesnt change his ways, it may be time to find a new bf.

[RandomAdvisor]

Personally, I would dump him immediately.

 

When I read your post title, my first thought was that you wanted him to take you to these places, but didn't ask. But you have asked. Then I thought he really couldn't get the tickets for you. But apparently he can. The fact that he lied to you about it is what really makes you think you should move on from this guy.

 

Gross exagerations. White lies. Lies. Call them whatever you wish, but I don't think I could trust him if I were you.

[Lansing]

well.. maybe he just couldn't get "extra" tickets.. it isn't like he took another girl along is it?? Does he show you he cares in other ways? If the issue is just about going to "parties" you need to consider if you really do like this guy. Assume he NEVER brings you to a party, would you still want to be with him?

[jensxcom]

Well I dont just like him because I want to go to parties, but its what hes about. He goes out to events/parties and I feel I should be apart of that if were dating. I dont like that hes out there going to parties that he knows I want to go but doesn't invite me along. Its just a really sad feeling.

 

I only asked him one time that I really wanted to go to that one party, he just went alone with his friends from work and never told me he went. He just said , "oh i can't get tiks, sorry"

Then I hear his co-worker bragging about it and what a good time they had. I couldn't believe it.

I think newphillyguy you are right. He may think I might meet someone better than him if he brings me to a party. Hes very insecure. I also thought maybe hes going without me so he can meet other girls.

He keeps telling me, i'm too pretty for him, hes not good enough for me, he has bad hair, etc.

Honestly the guy has a great job and is good looking. I have no idea why he feels this way about himself.

I guess I'll confront him instead of not saying anything and waiting for something to happen- like him taking me somewhere fun.

[Lady Bugg]

MY take on this is MAYBE he gets the feeling you ARE only with him for what he can get you..ie, tickets to parties, extravagent events, etc. How long have you been dating? If it's less than a few months then to expect him to take you along simply because you've went out a few times is unreasonable. If it's six months or longer..then YES it is fairly reasonable. I personally don't think he lied to you, all he said was he couldn't get tickets..and MAYBE he couldn't. Perhaps it was an event exclusive to only people who worked there.

 

I have been involved with people in that industry, and sometimes they will shy away from people who are only involved with them for what they can gain simply because they are in a "glamorous" industry.

 

See who he is as a person OUTSIDE of his job, because THAT is what is ultimately going to keep you together anyway.

 

Good luck!!!

[annie24]

How long have you been dating him?

 

Is it just that he won't take you to parties, or does he exclude you out of other parts of his life? Like, if his friends are getting together and bringing their gfs for drinks at a bar, does he invite you along? Or, is it just the two of you also.

 

I was dating my last bf for 4 months. He never introduced me to his co-workers or acquaintances, but we went on dates, just the two of us at the time. If someone doesn't introduce you into their life, it could be that he is shy, leading a double life (lying), or could be that he doesn't see you in his life long-term.

[jensxcom]

He invites me out with his friends and their girlfriends, I have met his parents and his family. He basically talked me into having dinner with his cousin and his wife- i really didn't want to go because I felt uncomfortable. I felt like he invited me to show them he has a girlfriend. They were judging me the whole time. He invited me out to a family reunion out in Nevada where I would have so stay over, I just felt uncomfortable going.

We've been dating about 8 months now. I like him for who is, i think he should know that I'm not using him for parties since I spend alot of time doing simple things with him like having dinner, hanging out with him at his place watching tv, etc.

I notice he gets very nervous alot- to the point where hes sweating. Hes a little paranoid, brushes his teeth everytime were out and eats like 20 altoids causes he thinks he had bad breath.

 

I brush my teeth too but i dont tell him everytime i do it. i just think thats odd.

[prettydance]

I agree with robowarrior.,,,He has included you in his life with friends,family etc.

He may be bragging, showing off and overexagerrating about his connections to impress you since he is a very insecure man.

Or he is very selfish and just does not take you with him.

I think you should tell him it hurts your feelings that he doesn't take you to parties with him.

I don't know sounds like hes treating you like the good girl he takes to meet mom and dad, his friends, nice dinners, etc. What is he really doing out at these parties then?

Maybe he is just a sparkler though. Do talk to him about this.

[NewPhillyGuy]

8 months and you met his family, brushing his teeth all the time...ok this is pretty clear now...he's very insecure. it's not that he doesn't like you, obviously, because he's taking you out with friends and family - big one right there.

 

Not sure what to say about the work parties...maybe he just wants time away with his friends/co-workers, so nothing wrong with that. Don't get me wrong - I DO understand that you want to be involved in the different aspects of his life. Nothing wrong with that either.

 

Just work on him about the work parties. Nicely confront about why he doesn't take you.You've stuck with him for 8 months and he's still saying you're too pretty for him? That's weird, but I guess he does have a really low self-esteem. You can't do anything to change that, but you have to decide whether or not you can deal with that in a relationship going forward. It does make it really hard. You may have to move on if things don't change, so keep that in mind going forward.

[annie24]

Yeah.... it's possible that he's over-exaggerating his job. Maybe he's afraid that you'd find out the truth. Or maybe he has another girlfriend at work.

 

I don't know what to tell you. Maybe talk to him some more, tell him that you'd really like to get to know him better and want to know this part of his life also. It really seems important to you.

 

good luck