Re-establishing contact...

[pocky_biscuz]

Hey all!

 

I wrote eariler about my computer problem and how i freaked out cuz i broke NC with ex to ask him for help. Well lately i've been thinking ALOT about him. Especially today when my brother suddenly mentioned about a rice cooker that was gone missing. That rice cooker belonged to my dad who passed away almost four years ago. We suspected that it was at my ex cuz i vaguely remembered him and I were driving it back from university to Toronto (from Waterloo) but i guess it never made it back to Oshawa (where i live). So i panic and called his house knowing he's not there (at work) but his mom is there. I still talk to his mom once in a while. But anyways it just so happens it is at his house. I was quite relief cuz i didn't wanna lose what my dad had. Since she's going away until May we agreed to get together in May so i can get my rice cooker again. PLUS yesterday i emailed my ex......something friendly. NOthing that says 'i still love you and wanna get back together' crap. To my surprise he emailed back today!! OMG i was estatic!! I was prepared for a 'i do not wanna speak to you ever again' email....but wow......he actually wrote back. So i think we are finally slowly talking again? I emailed back to him...in hopes to keep the conversation going again. OH btw, i emailed him because he wouldn't add me back on msn. Last night i tried adding him on but noticed he's online but hasn't add my back. So i wrote him an email starting with 'i'm telling you in email since you didn't add me back on msn' and just some random stuff about a show we both watched. But i can't believe he wrote back!! Guys!! what do i do now? we have progress!! i don't wanna scare him away at this time. Is he getting soft now? Did NC make all those bad stuff (pleading, begging, crying) go away and only see the good he lost in the relationship?

 

Advice and opinions needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kadvati79]

Be very careful - you are playing with some tough stuff! Remember, your ex may simply think you have gotten over him and can be friends now. I think, once the decision has been made to end a relationship - THATS IT in their minds, not matter how many "what ifs" they have in their head the decision is made and justified. Thats why the pleading doesn't work, it just makes the decision seem more right.

 

You need to be happy, he needs to be happy. It may be that you fall for each other again, and staying in contact may allow for that to happen (depending highly on the reasons you broke up). But does keeping in contact when you have feelings really keep you happy? I am grappling with this same issue, me and my ex (broke 3 wks ago) still talk on MSN occasionally. This is playing with fire because it makes it difficult to entirely let go.

 

Recognise any steps you make with this contact as highly risky, try and assess whether you can handle how BAD results could make you feel. Trust me, if you hear what you don't want too - it makes you feel terrible. But you can end up hearing good things that make you feel even WORSE. When i was talking to my ex I mentioned one of the hardest parts of our breakup was accepting the fact we couldn't spend our life together. He replied "I never said never" and described how his desired to live through part of uni single meant he began to resent the relationship and he didn't want to hurt me.

 

At the end of the day, you will do what you have too - but try and consider those risks and the terrible feelings that may result.

[Lady Bugg]

Rina how long has it been since you had contact?

[pocky_biscuz]

We emailed yesterday...just talked simply on things we both like like movies. But i was careful into typing what i write. Like there's no questions ie. How have you been....What have you been up to.... So there's no pressure to reply back. I'm being very very careful here. I wrote him back yesterday...now waiting to see if he'll respond just as quick as last time. I know for one thing that we're not on 'hating i do not wanna speak to you ever again' term. So i guess that's a progress...

[pocky_biscuz]

Guys...i could really use some help here.........Aaaah!!!!!

[GottaLetItBurn]

I hate to say this because it's not what you want to hear, but don't you think your getting over excited?

 

All he did was reply to an email YOU sent.

 

It's seems like your giving yourself false hope. What do you want with him anyway?

 

Do you think two people that are meant to be together would split up in the first place? There is someone better out there, and I would recomend you just move on.

 

I think girls naturally make a bigger deal of things like this, but no matter what sex you are. The disappointment when you find out that him talking to you means nothing..well...that is the same.

 

If you feel like you need to continue talking to him, then don't act like all your hopes are on whether or not he will take you back. You have to just see how things turn out.

 

Good luck

[whatif]

He didn't want to be an * * * by not replying to your email. That is all I can see from his action. If he was thinking about you and wants to get back with you, he would have added you back in MSN.

 

I know how desperate we all can get when it comes to hoping for our EX's attention again. He is just trying to be a gentleman at this point. Don't get your hopes up. Keep up your NC and make him miss you.

[pocky_biscuz]

You guys are right...I AM making a too much big deal of this. I'll just have to let nature take its course. HE emailed me first....to which i replied and then got nothing. THEN i emailed him again and he replied to me. But that's where it ends. I think i'll restart NC again. I don't mean to manipulate his feelings but maybe NC will work better this time because he had contact with me. And for myself...i am waaaay overeacting at this time which means even if we do get back together it'll just break up again cuz I HAVEN"T GROWN AT ALL!

 

Sorry for being such a whinner...

 

NC again!