Help!

[venus777]

So, me and my guy had sex for the first time tonight. We'd made out in the past and did some heavy petting kind of stuff and it was really enjoyable.

 

Tonight I gave him a massage, and I sensed he was embarrassed about his chest or something, kept a pillow over it and afterwards put his shirt back on.

 

When we had sex the pre-stuff was really sexy and lasted for a long time, thing is, the actual sex part left something to be wanted, he was kind of soft, and we got really dry (needed lube) but I don't normally get dry during sex really (wasn't going to tell him that), I couldn't figure out what it was. Maybe I'm not attracted to him? I don't think that's the case, he got me soaking wet. Thing was, I think he was insecure about his body and couldn't come for the longest time afterwards, I got dry so we had to stop and we just masturbated next to each other which was hot, but even after I came, he couldn't... He finally did, but it was a lot of work.

 

I don't know exactly when his last partner was, maybe a year, cause when I gave his balls some attention he said it tickled, that they hadn't gotten attention in a long time.

 

What do you think? I thought that if guys didn't have sex for a long time they would get off faster... Is there anything I can do to make him more comfortable???

[Tigris]

I think the best thing for you to do is to ignore this problem for the time being otherwise he's going to end up with an inferiority complex! The more practice you get (WINK) the more relaxed he'll get.

 

It could be that he's a virgin and didn't want to tell you? My 2nd husband lost his virginity at 28!

 

I hope everything turns out ok.

 

Good luck

[fishrrshortae]

Honey what's wrong with his chest? I'm a little confused.. as for him not coming, he might have been scared (past issues?) or nervous about something, which is usually a good reason many men can't come within a good amount of time.

 

Another thing to keep in mind, the first time you have sex w/ a partner can be VERY awkward because you don't know what each other wants sexually .. so keep that in mind as you try again. Ask him what he likes, communicate etc.

[NJRon]

When I haven't had sex in a long time, I am entirely unpredictable in how I will perform. However, more often than not, I have a very difficult time. It takes me a few times to get back into the swing of things.

[Süsser Tod]

Honey what's wrong with his chest? I'm a little confused.. as for him not coming, he might have been scared (past issues?) or nervous about something, which is usually a good reason many men can't come within a good amount of time.

 

Maybe he has man boobs. You know, I don't think that there could be somethign more embarrassing than manboobs. Female boobs are nice, but we are not supposed to have them.

 

That is the only reason I can think why he could be so ashamed of his chest.

 

As for not being able to orgasm, new experiences with "new" people (you two are new when it comes to actual sex) can be very stressing, you know, all that stuff about your performance, bla, bla bla.

 

Give him more time to get comfortable with you on bed, it seems that it is all he needs.

[Dako]

I'm told my manboobs are quite voluptuous!

 

The first time is bound to be awkward. Just like conversation, it takes time to get free and comfortable.

[Day_Walker]

Just have fun with the situation, learn what turns you both on and you are headed in the right direction.

[venus777]

hmm... well, the chest thing, i don't know, i don't feel it was anything to be ashamed of, he is a little thick but not fat, but i think he might be embarrassed of that or something. i mean, i had to ask him to take his shirt off...

 

yes, the first time is bound to be uncomfortable, but i guess with my last two partners the first time was better and i'm comparing. i like this guy MUCH more than the last two so I'm hoping it will get better.

 

Part of it is just a concern that it won't get more comfortable with time...

 

but I guess I'm just worried he might be worried that he didn't perform well, you know.. he really was a very good lover.

[ShySoul]

Odds are he is shy and nervous when it comes to this stuff. Sounds that way. Just be patient and loving. Take it slow and enjoy the experiences. Be reassuring and make sure he knows how much you enjoyed everything you did. In time, it should get easier.