I can't let my bf see the real me

[SeaBisquit]

hi people, this is going to sound a bit trivial, but really it's hurtful. I find that I can't really be myself around my bf. I feel that I have to look and act perfect when I'm around him. My friends all tell me I act differently when he is around and I feel I must impress him. I won't let him see me without makeup and I always dress really nice for him. He has never seen me in sweats or a t-shirt. For some reason I feel if he see's me being anything less than perfect he won't like me. why do I feel like this?

[Derek]

Why feel like that? You are human.

 

If you want to have a long term relationship with this guy, it is inevitable that your real side will come out. If he can't deal with the real you, then he wasn't worth it and wasn't the best for you anyway.

 

Shouldn't a loving relationship be a safe haven, not a test all the time?

 

Have some self-respect girlfriend, if you don't respect yourself, other people won't either. You don't need him to validate who you are.

 

Do you?

 

 

[xmrth]

I can understand how you feel. I'm actually TRYING to act differently for my boyfriend... I feel like I let myself get too goofy and "comfortable" around him.

How would you act if you just let your true self out?

Just let him see you without makeup and not dressed up nice? But what about personality wise? How are you for real versus how you act around him?

[SeaBisquit]

I would be alot more down to earth. dress casual, less makeup. I feel I have a good personality but I'm insecure about my looks. I get compared to his ex alot and I think this is where my insecurities are stemming from.

[Scotcha]

How long have you been with your boyfriend? If it is a pretty new relationship I'd say you're pretty normal. It always takes me awhile to feel truly comfortable around new people, even if I do happen to like them a lot.

 

Maybe you could try doing something new together as it might help you let loose a little bit. Nothing like feeling goofy trying to do something you don't know how to do.

[annie24]

I think you should try to be more like yourself around your bf. After all, if it's meant to be, then he'll love you for who you really are, quirks and all. And if he doesn't love all of you, then he's not worth your time.

 

Be yourself.

[SeaBisquit]

somehow I need to gain more confidence in myself.

[SuperDuper]

Here's how..

 

take the risk and be yourself for one night with him. See how he takes the "subtle" changes.

 

Who knows, he might like the 'real' you better than the 'fake' you.

 

Although you will NEVER ever know without trying. We can guide you for pages and pages of what to do, but in the end you have to DO it.

 

Just relax, take a breath and realize that he is in no place to judge, nobody is. Nobody is better, nor worse than you are. We're all equal.

 

If you want to gain self-confidence, I think you'll find it increasingly easier once you display your true self.

 

GL.

[SeaBisquit]

I would hate to be in your shoes. Don't feel the need to impress, he might not be worth impressing.

[faust8]

just try to be yourself

i think the real you is very beautiful inside and out

let him see that

 

i personally like seeing my ex in casual clothes and less makeup

rather than her looking high maintenance

hehe

[orgasmictofu]

I know exactly how you feel.

 

I say let your bf see the real you a little bit at a time. Especially if your "best behaviour" is considerably different than who you really are. A little bit at a time will allow him to not get such a huge shock.

 

But if its just makeup and being goofy, then just invite him over one day and don't be ready to go out, tell him you still need to step in the shower. He'll see you for you physically. And if he doesn't run screaming (he won't), you have yourself a keeper

[Maverick32x]

it sounds like you just really like him alot.

I had a girlfriend that told me the same thing one time at dinner. we just kind of laughed about it (like 3 months into the relationship!!) But she was legitamently concerned that i wouldnt like her... but i really did!!

[Derek]

"faults are beauties in a lovers eye" - Theocritus

[annie24]

"faults are beauties in a lovers eye" - Theocritus

 

Very nice.