Boyfriend ended it

[xblondyx]

After a fab 3 months my boyfriend ended our relationship. I know it was only 3 months but we got so close and really did love each other. We had known each other 7 years before we got together. This is the longest relationship he's been in. Other girls just didn't work out for him.

 

Everything has been going fine, i mean, there have been stupid disagreements but we've gotton over them. We were fine on Wednesday night at his house, being all loved up and he said he wanted 2 marry me and be together forever because he's never felt this way for a girl in his whole life.

Then he took me home and he text me when he got home as he always does. So we were texting for a while and everything was ok. Then out of the blue he said he felt weird and didn't know if he wanted to be together anymore. Only hours after telling me he wanted to be together forever!

 

So, yesterday, he ended it. He said he felt claustraphobic and he needed to be single to see how things went. He said i was too clingy.

 

Anyway today we were texting and he said possibly after the exams in june we can get back together. JUNE! Ages away. So we argued and he told me we were not going to get back together. Will he change his mind? I don't know. I really hope so. My friends say that in a few weeks he'll see sense. Want me back. But i don't know.

 

This hurts so much, i just want 2 die. I've cried for a day none stop. He said he would never hurt me and never wanted me to cry. So much for that one...

 

Maybe it's my fault? He said i was too romantic. Maybe it scared him? I don't know....i really feel like i can't go on. We go to the same school so we see each other everyday. It's going to be so hard. He seems ok with it, but it's killing me.

 

I know most people have felt like this before so i was just wondering, what did you all do when this happened? Did you ever get back together? What do you think i should do? Should i keep away for a while, give him his space and see if he wants to get back together? HELP ME!

[the yang to the worlds yin]

it sounds like he may just be scared of his feelings and pretty confused. give it some time, and opefully things will work back out, but my advice to avoid getting your hopes up, don't talk about the future, it sounds great and i know it's gotta bring asmile to your face, but it seems to scare some guys, and so just focus on the present, if he decides to come back. but honey if he's not begging for forgiveness, then think twice about letting him back.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

by the way, when it happened to me, we did get back together and we've been doing pretty great for a while now. you may find it'll take some time to rebuild your trust in him, because your afraid of it happening again. but don't worry, that will pass.

[xblondyx]

so you think i should just leave him alone for now? how long for? im rubbish at this lol

[the yang to the worlds yin]

to be honest, when this happened to me, i couldn't really get agrip so i just kept asking why, well eventually my boyfriend started saying how maybe we'll get back together one day, then later on in the day that led to him asking if i wanted to stay with him. give him some time to realise what he may be losing, and if that doesn't work, then i guess he never knew what he had. it turned out well for me luckily, but i really hope it does for you too. best of luck hun, and don't worry, some things work out for the best even if it doesn't seem so at the time

[xblondyx]

thank you, that's helped. i'm just going to wait. i'll give it a month or so then contact him to see how he is and take it from there.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

a month? goodness i commend you on your patience.

[xblondyx]

i just don't want to pressure him. he said he needed space so i'm going to hold my guns and wait. it's worth a try. he might want me back before that. and most likely i'll contact him before that too lol!!

[ElektraHere]

First off 3 months is just the "honeymoon" phase where everything is great and you are in lala land. Then all the quirks and other traits start appearing or the smoke clears the air and you start seeing these qualities.

 

Second you said this is the longest relationship he has ever had. 3 months is it? That's a red flag there. He seems like he likes the beginning stages of the happy go lucky times then when it gets to a certain part for him it's over. How old are you and how old is he?

 

Hun, I would move on. I know you felt like this was the real deal. Trust me I too had one of those brief relationships and I thought he was to be the "one." WRONG now after 7 months I realize that he wasnt the "one."

 

I wouldnt count on him changing his mind and if he did would you want him to be all lovey dovey with you and then do this all over again? Then it's just another trip on the misery and hurt train.

 

Stop it while the gettins good and move on sister!!!

[xblondyx]

Second you said this is the longest relationship he has ever had. 3 months is it? That's a red flag there. He seems like he likes the beginning stages of the happy go lucky times then when it gets to a certain part for him it's over. How old are you and how old is he?

 

yea 3 months is his longest. that's because if i'm honest...he's a bit weird lol. before me his longest was just a few weeks. im 17 and he's 18. i know it's young to call it "love" but i think it was.

[ElektraHere]

OH MY!!! 17 & 18. You have many "loves" and heartbreaks ahead of you both. I am 33 and if I went off everything I believed and did at 18 YIKES!!

 

Trust me you will look back at this as puppy love. And with him being 18 he is a confused teenaged boy who will be confused well they always are confused even when they are my age and older ;-)

 

Enjoy your younger years and just date without getting so serious at such a young age. If you just fixate on one person how do you know what qualities you really want in a guy? Dating others you can learn what it is you want and need in your life.

[xblondyx]

The thing is, no-one else wants me lol. I gave this boy everything..including my virginity. It was stupid and probably to early but we did it and now i maybe wish i hadn't. i think that's why i'm so upset. also, before him, i went out with a boy for about 3/4 months aswell but it was long distance and i think i was just missing out. then i got with this boy and everything was great because i hadn't had any proper attention for 3 months.

[ElektraHere]

I hate to say this but perhaps he got what he wanted (that being your virginity) and left. Unfortunately there are guys out there and its there "thing."

 

Don't put all your eggs in one basket my dear especially this egg I think he is a spoiler!

[xblondyx]

ok. thanks...even though its not really what i want to hear lol. i guess i've just got to wait and see what happens. i'm goin to do n/c which will give him his space and if he contacts me i'll be friendly back and see how it goes from there. if i do nothing then i can't make it any worse!

[Diggitydave]

I love UK slang, anyway, if most of them hadn't worked out and 3 months is his longest, then it sounds like he either gets sick of people too quick and doesn't give them a chance, ORRRRRR, he has some kind of commitment issue.

 

Just my two cents

[xblondyx]

i don't think it's either of them. i think most girls get sick of him. he's always been the one who was dumped. i'm the one girl who hasn't got sick of him.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

No...it wasnt love. At least, not from his side! You dont hurt someone you love like that.

 

You wouldnt say you wanted to be with them forever, then change your mind just a few hours later..

 

Hes young and has poor judgement, move on.

[xblondyx]

i'll try. if it wasn't love, he wouln't have told all of his friends he loved me. he wouldn't risk looking stupid if it wasn't true.

[ultraviolet]

If he's always been the 'dumpee', can you imagine how scary it is for him to realize that he wants to marry you? In his mind you're the girl who hasn't dumped him YET.

 

If you're strong enough to wait him out, giving him a month to calm down sounds reasonable. Hope it works out for you two!

[xblondyx]

i'm not really strong enough. but he means so much to me that i'm going to try my very best. he is worth it...i think. i just hope he thinks that i'm worth it.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

i felt exactly the way you did.

[xblondyx]

just got to ride it out really =) enotalone has really helped me though. i've been reading through all of the posts and i'm feeling better. not really thought about him i've been thinking about how to make myself feel better. no doubt i'll be hurting all over again tomorrow but i've just got to cope.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

when you start to hurt again, re-read the posts in here, stay away from the rest of the forum, trust me... it'll make your mind wander to places you don't want it to. surely made me paramoid before =P

 

and yeah, life has a funny way of working itself out, so don't worry, you'll get through this.

[xblondyx]

thanks a lot the yang to the worlds yin. i can really relate to you. i know that i'm going to get through this. i've got a great family and great friends who have all just phoned me up and had me in tears on the phone because they have been so kind. and i've got enotalone. the best source of comfort ever. and if my boyfriend doesn't want me back ever, well it's him missing out! i'm just going to get on with it and be happy and comfortable with myself and soon he'll come running back (hopefully).

[Diggitydave]

Be extremely thankful for your friends. That is a great thing to hear.