Sex and Teens

[musicguy]

I've seen a lot of posts, not only on this site, but other sites with teens giving advice about sex. Whatever happened to the parent-teen interaction? Now kids get sex advice online or from their friends? I'm not saying that sex is wrong, but there are soooo many teens out there getting pregnant, having more partners then on my hand and teens getting some sort of STD's. Why are teens wanting to have sex at a young age? Is it because it's around everywhere? I'd say wait until you are "mature" enough to handle the responsibilites or consquences while having sex. I understand that hormones are running, but man, wait until you are really ready

[BlueFlowerOnMyDesk]

lol I agree, well said my friend...well said

[theantibarbie23]

Teens are going to have sex because most teens think they are mature enough to know what exactly what they are doing. You couldn't of told me otherwise at 15, I knew it all.

 

As for the talking about sex with parents thing, it's a good thing in theory but how many people REALLY felt comfortable talking to their parents about stuff like that. My mom couldn't even discuss puberty with me, she handed me a book after having crossed out everything she didn't want me to read, "because it was dirty" with a magic marker.

[ShySoul]

I agree that teens today want to grow up way to fast. I think they should enjoy childhood while they can, cause one day they will be older and wonder what happened to it. Kids today are bombarded with all kids of influnces to have sex. Listen to a lot of popular music or watch teen shows, and it often seems to revolve around sex.

 

With the parent thing, a lot of time it is uncomfortable for parents to talk about that kind of stuff with them. Most families aren't that close, so the children end up learning a lot of stuff from friends or pop culture. And teenage rebellion often makes kids unwilling to listen to their parents.

[musicguy]

lol, hmm, well I don't think I'll have a problem talking to my future children about sex

[musicguy]

I agree Shysoul..it's too bad that teens have to feel so uncomfortable talking to their parents about sex

[orgasmictofu]

My mom's sex talk happened when I was 19 and she exclaimed "for god's sake please tell me you're at least using protection!"

 

Lord knows she tried to talk to me about sex. I wouldn't have any of it. I was weird that way.

 

I was very relieved that I could get my sex ed online, from friends, and in books. I was a very sex savvy teen. I didn't have sex until I was 18.

 

So what I'm saying is that maybe it's not the talking about sex that sways KIDS off of it, it's the values parents instill in their offspring from a very young age.

[flutegirl23]

my mom brought it up again this summer. we've never really talked about it because it's never been an issue. we were talking about a cousin who's dating this guy and my mom mentioned that she wouldn't be surprised if she ended up pregnant. then she told me, "well don't be afraid to talk to me about it so we can get you protection" and that was it.

 

i think that kids today think their friends know a lot more about sex and "teen stuff" then their parents. the problem is that teens have the wrong information. also, i know that i have questions for my parents but i don't want to ask them for a few reasons. 1) i wouldn't want my parents to know what's going on (although I'm sure they suspect) and 2) i don't want to be told stories of their sex life.

[ShySoul]

2) i don't want to be told stories of their sex life.

 

No one does. Ewwww.....

 

I think kids are also exposed to sex stuff at a younger age then parents think. Some parents may not be aware of just how much stuff kids pick up. I mean I'm only 10 years older then these teens, and it surprises me. I read of 13 year olds (and under!) wanting to have sex. When I was that age my biggest fantasy was making out. I was still trying to figure out how to tell the girl I liked how I felt. If I or people my age can be surprised, it must really be startling to a lot of older parents.

[elaineska]

I would never do something just because it was "around everywhere," and I will wait until I'm ready... I wish all young people felt like this. Don't do it just to do it.

 

But I've never really spoken to my parents about sex. And they don't seem to really want to talk about it. It's kind of an unspoken understanding. I WISH I could work up the courage to ask them how they feel about it, but with my sarcastic parents, I don't think I will ever get a straight answer. See... my parents were virgins until 25 and 29... so I'm worried that if I ask them, they will expect me to wait that long! Also, if I bring up the subject, I'm afraid they'll think I'm sexually active and keep an extra eye on me. I don't know.

 

I like getting information and advice online because it's anonymous. And I do get a lot of help from this site.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I never really felt uncomfortable with my Mom or our sex talk. My Mom had been in trenches as a nurse at Planed Parenthood and was very mature about making sure I was safe. I think too many parents themselves aren't mature enough to handle "THE TALK", its sad to think an hour or whatever of explanation could prevent so much pain. I suppose another reason sex wasn't that foreign to me was that I grew up in a rural setting, too. It sounds odd, but you kinda know whats going on when the mommy cow and the daddy cow are just playing.

[Day_Walker]

Having sex is a personal decision but society feels that people need to wait to have sex until a certain time. Societies perception doesnt have to be right. People are going to have sex with they want. Trying to legislate a standard when people are going to have sex doesnt seem constructive. Instead educate them and allow them to make better more informed decisions.

[italianstalian]

teenagers have sex at a young age......because we can............its really that simple..........it feels good......and girls put out because i guess they thiink they have to within a few months.

[darkness1235]

We don't do it because of that ( most of we teens do ). Some do it because they feel pressured or they wanna be cool...( I don't know because I am a VIRGIN...) but I have 2 friends who are NOT. One is in seventh grade, she says it's because she was curious and wanted to try it, the other one is in EIGHTH grade, but he really doesnt like to talk about it, and my best friend's sister had a baby and she is ONLY 16...Most teens don't like to talk about it with their parents because maybe they are afraid they will not understand.

[ShySoul]

teenagers have sex at a young age......because we can............its really that simple..........it feels good......and girls put out because i guess they thiink they have to within a few months.

 

That's just the issues though.

 

1. Because we can isn't a thought out answer. I can do anything "because I can" but it doesn't make it right. I could bully people, make fun of others, even take a gun and try to rob a store. I could do it because I can. But I don't think anyone would advise doing that.

 

2. Yes, it feels good. As do a lot of things. But that doesn't mean you should either. The responibilites that potentially comes with sex are many, both physically and emotionally. Too many have sex because it feels good, not because they are ready for it. And they end up having to deal with the consequences, issues, and regrets for a long time. There is a post about women losing their virginities up right now. A couple people said they lost it at 15 or younger, most said 16 to 20. And many of them said it was too soon or not the right person. That indicates that there seems to be pressure to do it at a younger age instead of waiting for just the right time.

 

3. Girls shouldn't be feeling the need to "put out." If that is why they are doing it, then something is wrong.

[eriko]

Metacognitivally speaking, I truly believe that I am mature enough to safely engage in not only a physically delightful, but an emotionally envigorating act. Though I and my fellow young sexually active pupils are not financially stable enough to live the repercussion of pregnancy, our God-Given right to enjoy ourselves through SEXUAL INTERCOURSE should not be frowned upon. I capitalized sexual intercourse to avoid remarks such as, "enjoy yourself in other ways such as oral sex." Though oral sex is absolutely amazing, nothing, in my opinion, can possibly bring two people closer then the orgasmic connection of intercourse.

 

If it is done so safely and cautiously, why should teen sex be frowned upon by adults that have hypocritically done what they frown upon? Teen sex that nurtures the connections between lovers is not detrimental, and should not be labelled as "premature," or "stupid."

 

Being sexually active for a number of years WITHOUT actually having sex is quite hard (not that I'd know). I understand what adults are saying, but to deny ourselves such a wonderfully natural pleasure for the sake of parental concerns and society's pressures is in my opinion pathetic and submissive.

[ShySoul]

eriko,

 

I believe the problem comes more from seeing 13 and 14 year olds talking about having sex. At that age, kids aren't prepared for everything that sex brings. It's not about parents wishes, the right to enjoy the experience, or societies pressures. It is about trying to look out for them and make sure that they don't get themselves in bad situations they don't know how to deal with.

 

At 17, things are a little murkier as they are almost legally an adult. But there are still concerns and a lot of people aren't ready at that age either.

 

I also think that the people who say these things aren't being hypocrites. Yes, they may have had sex as a teenager. But for many of them, they realize they weren't ready when they did have it, and are trying to prevent other people from making the mistake that they made.

[eriko]

I like you Shysoul, your a good guy. Your points are clarified well by your usage of language that does not incite anger. However, my position still stands.

 

And besides, human beings do have a need for instant gratification. Telling a 16 year old to wait for sex is like telling a cat to wait for the mouse to die.

[elaineska]

And besides, human beings do have a need for instant gratification.

 

Then masturbate...?

[ShySoul]

Then masturbate...?

 

Short and to the point. I like it!

 

eriko, we'll have to disagree on this. But I think you make more interesting and logical points then most people taking your stance. Your a smart guy. Hoping to debate you on another subject at some point. Would be fun.

[eriko]

Me too!

 

but..i must..get in..the last..word..hahaha.

 

Masturbation sometimes just doesn't compare!

 

ok. I feel much better.

[Cloud802]

It's just hard to understand, I learned about sex very fast, but when I was thirteen my biggest thing was trying to get girls to even talk to me, and now I'm sixteen and I just want to SEE my girlfriend (LDR) not have sex with her.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I blame society..no, really!

 

Sex is everywhere, even in kids toys...have you SEEN Bratz dolls lately? They hardly look like they want to just stay home and crochet...it's sad really, sex is being sold as a universal, suitable-for-everyone type thing.

Hideous.

[ShySoul]

Yes, the Bratz dolls. And people thought Barbie's figure sent a bad message...

 

It's sad that sex is promoted so much, especially to teens. Just the popular music that gets played sends messages to them.

 

Cloud - I know how it feels. As a teen I would have been happy just having a girl like me. And even now I care more about just being with someone then the sexual stuff.

[Dregnought]

Quite ohesntly teens are gonna do it reguardless. Trust me on that, it is difficult. When me and MG have kids (hehe) I beleave (at the moment anyhow...) that if they want to, trying to stop them is just gonna make everyone, parent, teen and thier partner unhappy. Why do that? I say teach them, make sure they know, and maybe even supply them with condoms...