when people say they'll call

[venus777]

so... one of my biggest pet pieves is when people don't call when they say they will.

 

this guy said he'd call "around 11", now it's 11:40 so closer to "around 12", if it was just a friend thing I'd probably call and see whats up, but with dating situations I feel like I can't, cause they have to be making as much effort as me.

 

why do people do that? am i just obsessing about nothing? what would you do if you were me?

[renaissancewoman101]

Don't worry. It is only about noon, and he may be busy. He might call you later in the day. People sometimes do that not because they want to, but because they might be busy too. ALso, some guys dont want to come off as being desperate to call you back so they put on the act of being nonchalant and they call you later so that they dont give off the image that they are into you. Guys and girls can be like that. I would just wait, but if he was making plans with you for something like for tomorrow, then just give the guy a call later in the evening, if you havent heard from him by then.

 

I truly do understand how you feel. I get like the way you do when someone tells me that they will call, let me know about plans, etc. I get worried if I dont hear from them and then I come up with the worst case scenarious like "I must have scared him off, he doesnt like me, I am stupid for wanting to do something, why didnt he call, etc." Just relax and let things happen. That way is less heartache and ulcers.

[venus777]

oh it's for today. If he doesnt call by the evening time I won't call him. i just don't understand why people say a time that they will call you at just to leave you hanging...

[shes2smart]

what would you do if you were me?

 

Best piece of advice I ever got regarding people following through on stuff:

 

Honor the commitments you make, no matter how large or small. Don't expect anyone else to honor the commitments they make.

 

If I don't have the expectation of someone doing what they said they'd do, I'm pleasantly surprised when they actually do what they said they'd do and not surprised if they don't.

[venus777]

so we were going to hang out today, should i call him, ugh, i hate these dilemmas.

[renaissancewoman101]

Give him a call. It cant hurt. Otherwise, you are going to kill yourself mentally worrying about all this.

[venus777]

oh, i'm going to wait until around 2pm, I think, go and read and distract myself, and then if he doesn't call by then call him up and ask if he still wanted to hang out today... but i don't want to seem desperate either.

[venus777]

well, i called him, he had been visiting his family, we had lunch and he had to go bring some kids some food he takes care of as a nanny; he said he would call me and see if we could hang out afterwards.

aaaagh he is sooooo handsome i'm dying here. wow. just wow.

[renaissancewoman101]

Good for you! I hope things work out for you.

[venus777]

well, thank you for keeping me sane by your advice, that's why dating can be so hard -- the emotions involved...

[renaissancewoman101]

I know what you mean, dating is hell, but the results are fabulous, usually.

[venus777]

are they? sigh. i've never actually had a good relationship before, but i would like to experience one...

[Pixiemeat]

Aww sweetie, I know EXACTLY what you mean! You're sending me back four years ago when I used to wait for the magical phone call that my date would make 'later' that would take aaaages to come. If he was a friend, I'd have no problem ringing up and having a chat, but with a date situation you're reminded over and over again not to appear desperate.

 

Good luck!