question for the guys

[SaRaHmArIe8588]

i've been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months now and just recently i found out that he watches porn. we had a huge discussion about it but he cant explain to me what lesbian porn does for him. i dont understand why that turns guys on. Does it mean im not good enough and he has to resort to porn? Let me know guys..and girls..you can put your opinion in to.

 

* Sarah*

[PRSOV]

I don't watch porn myself, but guys and lesbians? I don't know, there is something about it which just turns us on. It's most guys fantasy... to have more than one female in the bedroom! Don't take it that you aren't good its just a way of pleasuring while our gf isn't there or what not, it's just a guys fantasy or thought that goes beyond ordinary... kind of like trying to keep him away from going to the pub to drink with his mates and play some pool... it is just a guy thing that no female will change until he matures a little. Hope this helps... When I had a gf I never ventured into that state of mind coz I was so happy

 

Good luck & I hope this helps...

[ConFusion28]

I am female, but this had also been a question of mine to both boyfriends and my guy friends, and the most consistent answers that I have received are either A) It's like a secret view into lesbian sex, something very forbidden and probably not something they would be exposed to in reality or B) Lesbian porn is like a far stemmed version of a threesome a.k.a. almost every straight guy's dream, and the reasoning behind the threesome fantasy is the whole double your pleasure thing.

 

But on your question about you not being good enough for him, I highly doubt that. Porn is just a variable that helps a guy relieve sexual tension, frustration or for just plain pleasure, when you aren't around. However, if you are around that might be a different story that you probably need to talk to him about more deeply. Anyways, I hope this helped out somewhat and maybe some guys will be more helpful with their input. Good luck!!!

[LiquidCherry]

I've had guys tell me that they like lesbian porn better because because they don't have to look at a male too.

[RayKay]

I think part of it is the mentality "if one girl is great, why not two - that would be even better!".

 

I think there is also the aspect it's less threatening to not see another male in there. Personally even as a female when I am viewing porn, I get disturbed by some of the men in it! There seems to be just a different "slant" to it when it's female-female as opposed to female-male combinations. Perhaps they can better "visualize" themselves being involved, or they are better able to focus on the females involved.

 

It does not mean you are not good enough, now if it actually is impeding your sexual relationship with him, or he is putting porn above you, that is a concern. However, honestly when he looks at it, he won't be comparing you to them, nor will he be doing so when he is with you. It's really visual stimulation for most men for masturbation and excitement.

 

However, if it really bothers you, you two should just sit down and talk about it and communicate about it - maybe share not only your views on it, but also listen to his, and it may not be such a dealbreaker if you can come to a compromise together.

[novaseeker]

I think it's another aspect of the fantasy portrayals in porn. Yes, in part it's probably because no man is present (although much of porn does feature men with women, and seems popular enough). It's also in part, I think, because lesbian porn features more of a focus on women's bodies, the softness of them and the like. And I alos think it's like the forbidden fruit/taboo thing ... which in part is part of the allure of porn in general ... it's a fantasy.

 

The interesting thing for me is how homophobia in general doesn't seem to impede the popularity among heterosexual men of fantasy-like lesbian porn. I'm not aware of a similar popularity of male homosexual porn, for example, among female porn viewers (but it could be that I am simply not aware of such a popularity, I don't know). My own theory is that people are more threatened or put off by by homosexuality practiced by persons of their own gender, rather than persons of the opposite sex, but it's always been very curious to me how straight men can simultaneously be erotically fascinated with lesbian porn while being extremely anti-homosexual. Go figure.

[Day_Walker]

Porn is fantasy, that is all that it is supposed to be. If your bf looks at porn it doesnt mean that you arent good enough. Looking at porn could mean many things or it could mean nothing. Each person and situation is going to be different, you are in a better position to tell why it is that he is looking at porn.

[Doctor Smurf]

I agree, its a guy enjoying a fantasy without hurting anyone, and I think its the sort of thing we (Or I at least) would be embarrased about other people knowing of, so looking at a man with a woman is a little off putting I think.

 

I don't find that lesbian sex in itself is particularly arousing, other than in the forbidden fruit way already mentioned, I prefer other single female porns such as striptease. But thats just me.

DS

[ShySoul]

If one girl is good, then two girls must be twice as good, right? It creates for a wider of possibilities of things to do, to be sexually pleased. If a guy looks at porn, then he is in a sexual frame of mind at the time, and more girls means more sex... at least in an odd sort of way.

 

Same thing with a girl watching a scene with 2 guys and a girl. That's twice as many ways to please her.

 

Though really, is it lesbians that guys like? Or is it bi girls? Cause a guy would have no shot at a lesbian, unless they are arrogant enough to think they would turn the girls bi. But then thats just going to far into fantasy world if you ask me.

[Mavh25]

girls are the more desirable sex, so i kinda agree with the part about not liking men being in the movie. I recently found out the same thing as you though sarah, and i went through the exact same thoughts and i even posted about it lol but i just think to myself "ask" has he been keeping it a secret from you? was he weird and defensive when you found out? or did he explain? the fact that he didnt run off screaming is a sign it isnt something you should be worried about. I believe its just some dirty hoes on a screen and they wouldnt touch him ! lololol

[Rawk-1]

Lets get to the point. its hard to ask some one to discontinue a habbit that they were probably doing before you came along. I would not take it personal or create any upsurd thoughts. Im sure if he had to decide over you or porn, he would most definitely choose the real thing. everyone has their own preferences for sexual activity. it could be a fantasy of his or just something he might find interesting. if it makes you that uncomfortable than tak to him about it. Good luck!