ConFusion28

I know that when I attempted suicide I didn't tell anyone, obviously it wasn't successful, but I had no desire to tell anyone. It was just like they will find out when they do, and because they never saw it coming they will be even more upset. I dunno, but I do agree with Dako everyone's circumstances are different.

I am female, but this had also been a question of mine to both boyfriends and my guy friends, and the most consistent answers that I have received are either A) It's like a secret view into lesbian sex, something very forbidden and probably not something they would be exposed to in reality or B) Lesbian porn is like a far stemmed version of a threesome a.k.a. almost every straight guy's dream, and the reasoning behind the threesome fantasy is the whole double your pleasure thing. But on your question about you not being good enough for him, I highly doubt that. Porn is just a variable that helps a guy relieve sexual tension, frustration or for just plain pleasure, when you aren't around. However, if you are around that might be a different story that you probably need to talk to him about more deeply. Anyways, I hope this helped out somewhat and maybe some guys will be more helpful with their input. Good luck!!!

So, today at work someone handed my ex/co-worker something. Then causually, my boss asked who it was for and he replied, in a very soft whisper (trying not to let me hear, but I did) his girlfriend. His girlfriend, are you kidding me? Not even a week ago we were making plans to get together and now he is in a serious relationship with another woman. Does this make any sense to anyone? I talked with my boss about it and she said that she thinks he was lying and that they aren't that serious, but nevertheless he said girlfriend. I felt betrayed, not because we aren't anything anymore, but because again he led me on and made me believe that I was maybe something more than what I really was. On the other had, the good news is that it was kind of a relief though to know that I really have to get over him now that he is in a committed relationship, but this just all goes back to the fact that he changes his deep feelings more times than people change their underwear. Am I overreacting to the fact that he has a serious girlfriend in less than a week, is this normal behavior to change your mind that quickly about someone you have 'feelings' for? Or am I in the right to feel the way that I do?? Please help!! Thanks!!

New problem with this ex/co-worker... he is starting to slack off and I'm beginning to feel the brunt of it because he is sending HIS assignments my way. It's really hard to say no or avoid him because we work very closely together. The entire day he was taking personal calls, texting, and downloading music, and today he even asked his new crush to stop by to just 'hang-out' and she did, even though it was only for 10 minutes it was against work policy. I felt that I had to tell my boss, who kind of knows the situation between us. She talked to him about it discretly (not knowing it was me tattling) and he still continued like that for the rest of the day. The thing is before any of this drama happened he was a really good co-worker and always ontop of things, now it's just like he doesn't care. Today I was complaining to a friend about him and she said that I should just lay off him and not tell my boss. Is it me or does that seem a little crazy? I wasn't the one who created this situation, and by no means is this revenge on my part, it's just me trying to get on with my job and my life. Any suggestions on how I should approach the subject or should I really just leave it alone??? Thanks!

Thanks guys, each one of you makes sense completely, but I just feel totally rejected and hurt, alot and the fact that he's done the on more than one occasion is just killer!!

It all started about a month when a guy I worked with confessed at a party that he had a crush on me for months. He really laid it on thick that night telling me that I was beautiful and smart, and that the feelings he had for me were real. It was the greatest thing I could hear because I was just getting over confessing my true love for my best guy friend (and being rejected), and the truth was I had a crush on him too, but I never thought anything would become of it. That night after he drove me home I thought that maybe he was just saying those things because he wanted to have sex (we didn't), but the next couple of days he convinced me that his feelings and motives were true. However, he also went on to say that he was worried that us working together might cause problem in our relationship. He said that he didn't want to stuff things up and have me hating him in the end, a precursor?? So, I asked him if that meant that he didn't want to take that chance or if he wanted to make a go of it? He said let's make a go of it. Things were nice, really nice for about a week. Then he started acting different and avoiding me in and out of work. I told him that we needed to talk and I bluntly asked him if I was wasting my time, he laughed and said yeah you are. Later that night, he called and said he felt like a jerk and that he didn't mean to hurt me, he was just confused. He said that he wanted to be with me but that his friends were a big factor (that's a different story). He said he now didn't want the relationship, just the benefits of one. Now here's the problem, I agreed. I hadn't been in a relationship for a long time and I felt like hey it's taken this long since for a guy to truly like me, so why not just be in it for sex? And that's what it was, just sex. It went from one extreme to another with our pact that we'd hook-up at least once a week. And we did, even though he started to flake again. He wouldn't answer my phones calls or texts messages, he was starting to revert to the guy who panicked a month ago. Then about a week ago things just came to a complete stop and come to find out from one of his friends, he was starting to like this other girl. So, of course I jumped to the conclusion that it had become serious with the new girl and I was okay with that until later that week when he texted me about what he wants for his birthday, sexually. So, tonight not even a week later I ask when he wants his 'present' and he says he doesn't want it anymore, he doesn't want to deal with 'us' anymore, and that it is over. Which really bums me out, because when is it really over when he has been fickle the entire time? In the beginning I had all these feelings invested, then he says he doesn't want the relationship. Then I succumb sexually and he doesn't want that either, but he was way more than happy to suggest both of them. It's really hard for me to grasp why he is having such extreme changes in his feelings for me, and I know I shouldn't let him treat me this way, right? It's just that I really did like him, and I agreed to the friends with benefits things because I thought that maybe he'd realize he wanted to be in a committed relationship with me, but I know the real reason I'm hanging on is because I don't know when the next guy will come along and that scares me. I just need some suggestions as to why he would treat me like this because I am truly crushed and baffled, and I definitely need some reaffirming voices that say I should move on and stop secretly holding out hope that he will change his mind, again... and I will obsess about this for months, LOL!! Thanks!!! R.C.N.