do i contact him? is it chasing?

[lucy259]

Met a guy online, who turned out to be a friend of a friend. We went on four great dates. A Saturday, which went into Sun mng (no sex) and he called and texted Mon, the next Thursday, met up at a party the next Sat and he crashed at my place; then the next Fri. He was invited to a party that I helped throw, which got out of hand and I apologized for me drinking too much and not being too much fun. He emailed the next Mon with a random question and I apologized. He asked me out for the next Friday and I invited him over dinner. All seemed okay until I confirmed Friday and he said he wanted to talk about what happened at the party. Friday he was pretty normal, but said he really liked me until the party and the party wasn't his scene. I said it wasn't mine and I liked him; he said he was concerned that I liked him too much, but spent all eve talking to me and said we'd hang out Sun and he'd call. He doesn't call Sun and I email him Tuesday to see what's up. He said he got busy sun and that he needs to call and will. He looks at my online profile on Friday and has been on dating site a few times, but other than that its now the next Mon and I haven't heard anything. I know tomorrow is Valentine's Day and so he may be avoiding or may be avoiding me totally. My friends either say give up he doesn't owe you anything or call and leave a message Thursday just seeing what's up and asking him for coffee. What should I do? I don't want to get hurt, but I just don't get what happened and would like to give it a shot. Any other ideas on how to deal with it? We both agreed we really clicked on those first few dates.

[ocrob]

The fact that he thinks you like him too much is a sign you need to back off for a bit. I would give him space and see if he calls. When a person is too pushy, calls too much or is too available, then the other person loses interest fast. I say do not contact him and see if he contacts you.

[lucy259]

Is there any point at which I could contact him just to get some closure--we did see eachother every weekend for a month.... Like two weeks after I last heard from him?

[ocrob]

I would wait and let him contact you. If he likes you, then he will contact you. I seem to always pursue women and do it pretty well, but recently met a woman that totally turned me off. She called me five times in one day with out giving me a chance to call her back. She would leave messages saying all kinds of stuff that just made me feel pressured. I say that you should not contact him for two weeks and then maybe just say a quick hello.

[fluffhead]

Please back off...seriously...I was a raving lunatic with a man that I just met (I am not normally like that...I have no idea what came over me)...calling him all of the time and e-mailing when he didn't respond in the exact amount of time that I felt was appropriate...seriously it turned him off BIG TIME...and now I ruined the chance I had with him...If he likes you he will come around

[renaissancewoman101]

I agree with all the other posters, you should back off and wait for him to contact you. I have learned from watching some of my friends, that if you chase a guy too much, they lose interest in you. I guess it is that notion that the guys want to be the initiators as well as the chasers.

[fluffhead]

Honestly they really do lose interest...believe me...I cannot emphasize this enough....don't leave yourself looking desperate