Second wind?

[Relationship Coach]

Good, glad to see your spirits up! I caught the thread about the sinister in law, thank God you are the executor! WOW! I can't imagine the restraint running through your veins.

[Dako]

Thanks. I almost told her off once and thought of my grayhaired old momma. She doesn't need the fallout from WW3.

[keenan]

I don't think your post looks puzzling, Dako. Just contemplative.

 

My husband and I have been (were?) married for 10 years. We've always had a rock solid friendship and tons of passion for one another, and we laugh that every few years our love for each other really catches fire even more, and doesn't cool. Our biggest escalation happened around our 8th anniversary. We spent the whole time laughing like kids, amazed at how absolutely wild about each other we were. Tapering off to routine? Nah.

 

Of course, some stories have sad endings, and that's why I'm here. We're still best friends and love each other very much, but over the last several months his passion for me has cooled...and has kept cooling…and now he's not at all sure he sees a future with me anymore--at least, a romantic future. Falling out of love? I didn't really believe it happened, but I'm experiencing the fallout. It's like we rode it 'til the wheels fell off. We're both sad. He feels really guilty, too. Sometimes I feel an enormous amount of frustration and despair at watching my life, my (imagined) future, disappear in a puff of smoke. I also respect him, though, and of course I don't want to force or manipulate the situation to get him to stay. It's strange and difficult to not have him here, though.

 

Hmmm…I think I should have posted this as a new Break-up/Divorce thread instead of as a reply. Sorry.

[arwen]

Dako, I have been thinking about your post, and the person that directly comes to mind is my longterm ex. We never got into a routine, and had 4 years of relationship. It was the most passionate love I have experienced. When it was over, I YEARNED for more of a routine, because the passion in my case also meant intense fights and periods of plain drama. After that, I had several short relationships, and with one of them, the routine was there pretty soon (after a few months). I got bored.

 

I hope my present new relationship will be somewhere in the middle, with enough passion to keep that feeling of deep love even when we are turning into a more routined couple.

 

Ilse

[Dako]

Ilse,

I hope your current relationship has a few good surprises.

 

Keenan,

Thanks for your post, it made me feel better to hear someone else had a similar experience. I've read a lot of stories here and never came accross this subject. I guess you have to feel it to understand it.

 

Sorry the wheels fell off your happy wagon. Mine did too. It was a wonderful ride, though.

Much of your situation seems familiar to me. I'm still friends with the ex and we're both struggling after 6 months. Love is mysterious.

[azul]

Well, I had been marry for almost 15 years with the only men that I had sex and second kiss. I was in love with him since his infidelity. I was feeling the same as you with him, always wishing to make love to him and kiss him all the time, always happy when he got home and doing things to make him feel the only man in my world. Never cheat on him, and missed him a lot went I was away. I did not imagine my life with out him. See, you are no the only one.

Now I feel different toward him after his infidelity, the kiss is no the same, sex is no the same, I think it will take time in order to me to understand if I really want to be him after his affair. How can you love someone and hurt her/him in that way.

[keenan]

Keenan, Sorry the wheels fell off your happy wagon. Mine did too. It was a wonderful ride, though.

Much of your situation seems familiar to me. I'm still friends with the ex and we're both struggling after 6 months. Love is mysterious.

 

Indeed it is. I've found comfort in your posts, too, Dako. I've only been hanging around here for a couple of days, but your situation has really resonated with me. Am tryin' to ride in your draft, so don't fall down (wry smile).

[Dako]

Great analogy. Thanks, K

[AwdreeHpburn]

RC - that was beautiful! What you wrote a page or two back about sharing souls and air .....wow.

 

Just catching up on this one Dako, you asked earlier if anyone experienced this 2nd wind. Can't say I have but its nice to hear its possible. I needed that right about now.

 

I am sorry to have missed some of your more cynical times. I enjoy a good skeptic view point every now and again.

[Dako]

Oh I get cranky and rant a bit. If I start dating I'll probably be a riot!

[keenan]

Oh I get cranky and rant a bit. If I start dating I'll probably be a riot!

 

...or cause one.