My Lot In Life Is To Be A Punching Bag To Myself

[ElektraHere]

Hello,

 

To all who have responded with advice to my posts I can't thank you enough. It has been a lousy month and I am in this funk. I was thinking could it be the stages of loss? Losing someone in my life that meant a lot to me and grieving for them not being there? He is still alive and healthy (thank goodness) but for him to be a constant in my life right now can not be. I want what is best for him and I have been selfish only wanting what I want, not considering a moment about him.

 

 

 

Quick synopsis: I have a male friend whom I developed feelings for, told him, and he said he did not feel the same way. I can't just be his friend right now with all the feelings I have for him right now. I hope one day that I can have him in my life again and that he won't fade away like a distant memory.

 

 

 

 

I have been beating myself up over and over about this you know the what ifs. What if I never had told him? What if I had not been so needy? What if I wouldn't have called him so much? So many what ifs spin around me that all I can do is just cry. This is when I feel like throwing my hands in the air and calling it quits for me. Nothing seems to work out for me and that is when I get so frustrated with myself and blame myself for all the things that don't come to be. I have many hopes and dreams but they get dashed by all the waves of pain that seems to be a constant. It's like I build a sandcastle a beautiful sandcastle and I want to show the world and no one is there and once they do show up the wave has come in and flattened it and there I am with nothing and then the world turns and walks away.

 

 

Has anyone had this problem of being hard on yourself? If so what did you do to remedy the problem? All I can ever come up with is perhaps I am just not worth anything and this is my lot in life.

 

 

 

[LostInMyThoughts]

I believe everyone is overly critical of themselves. Some more so than others, but I know that everyone I've encountered is tough on themselves.

 

What helps me is to remember all the great things people have said or done for me over my lifetime. I accept compliments and praise by smiling and saying thankyou.

 

Also if I feel really down on myself, I go out and buy a new toy.

[kickedin]

i am way hard on myself......realize that sometimes things jus dont go your way..................read this

 

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

 

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

[DN]

Has anyone had this problem of being hard on yourself? If so what did you do to remedy the problem? All I can ever come up with is perhaps I am just not worth anything and this is my lot in life.

 

The first remedy is to jettison thoughts like that and work on your self-esteem. Concentrate on what you do well, improve what you don't do so well if you can, and don't worry about the rest.

 

You have a lot going for you if only you would realise it and downplay the negative stuff.

[annie24]

You really can't come down on yourself too hard. Some relationships are simply not meant to be. You were yourself, and if he doesn't like it, then oh well. You can't beat yourself over "what-if?" because if he doesn't like you for who you are, then there's nothing that can be done about it. And there's no one else you can be except for yourself.

 

Like DN said, I bet you have a lot going for you. Concentrate on that, more than what happened with that guy.

[Hope75]

I agree with the others.

 

Analyzing and agonizing over the what if's isn't going to do anything for you at this point. It isn't productive and it isn't getting you anywhere.

 

The fact is that sometimes one person might feel that way about another and that the feelings aren't reciprocated.

 

It hurts, but you move on, and get over it as best you can.

 

Try to focus on yourself and the future instead of dwelling so much in the past and over something of which you have no control.