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Is this playfighting or abuse?


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Have you broken up with this guy yet or what? IF not, I would highly suggest you do it quickly. YOu are smart to have realized this was more than just "play fight' or "play roughness". This guy has some real issues with control and abuse. Yes for sure its time you leave this guy and this relationship. You deserve some one that respects you and does not treat you this way. I hope you post back saying that you have broken it off with him. Take care of yourself and dont let any guys do this to you ever again.

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yeh i broke it off. he got angry and is being kind of eager now, calling me which is unusual for him. i miss him though. well actually i don't miss him, i miss the beginning of our relationship. i'm trying to forget the rest.

 

he makes it so hard to stay strong, keeps making me think i'm overeacting and when he calls or texts he talks as though nothing's happened. weird?

 

to be honest, i might just meet with him one last time on valentines day so i can get a sense of closure and just see him one more time. yeh, sounds like a bad decision but something i'm considering. but i do hate him, he's rude and selfish and just the worst guy i've ever met. but sometimes when i'm alone i find myself thinking about him. don't know why.

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He's got you right where he wants you. By refusing to address how he behaves he makes it seem like it's all in your head... and you over reacted... which you did not. The guy is a pig and he knows it.

 

You are going to do what you want to do but I am going to tell you that is a an absolute terrible idea to see him now... especially on Valentine's day, the day designed to make you forget what a jerk he is and take him back. That is exactly what will happen if you go and see him and I think you know it.

 

You are "trying to forget" the rest of the relationship because then it will be easier to see him and take him back.... don't be weak girl, no one deserves to be treated the way that he treated you.

 

Closure comes from within you, knowing that you made the right choice not to let some punk treat you like a piece of meat just because he is cute and popular. You don't need to see him to know this or get this.

 

I hope you will use your good sense and NOT go to meet him. Think of yourself first and don't forget how he treated you like trash. If you keep that fresh you will be less likely to call him.

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but i do hate him, he's rude and selfish and just the worst guy i've ever met.

 

Keep repeating that to yourself. If he is the worst guy you know, why meet with him again? He is playing with your mind and trying to trick you into staying with him. Don't let him do it. It's understandable that you miss him and feel bad about how things went. But you have to see that this is his fault and you shouldn't be blaming yourself for it. You don't need to be with a person like that. You deserve a lot better.

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Just want to say thankyou so much for the help here, i wont be seeing him tomorrow. I'm still quite weak (regretfully called him the other night) but I would'nt consider having any kind of relationship with him again. he decided to tell me that he had sex with another girl on friday night; this boy is unknowingly making it easier for me to let go.

 

when i first posted this question i had no intention of breaking it off because i thought that what i got i deserved. i only wanted to know if i was overeacting in my concern over his behaviour but i've experienced alot of stimulating and inspiring messages that have given me the strength to end his abuse.

 

u guys hit me with a reality check, that i am better than this. my self esteem is improving and i'm learning to respect myself because if i don't, how can i expect a guy to? THANKS AGAIN

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Good going Kelly. Glad to see you have seen him for who he is and won't put up with it. In time you'll be over him and you will find someone better. Hang in there and take care.

 

And telling you he slept with another girl? Not the brightest bulb in the box, is he?

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Reading your post almost had me jumping for joy (except for fact my coworkers would of wondered why I was so happy to be doing spreadsheets...).

 

Believe me in the long run, if you can respect yourself you will be much better off for it!

 

As for him, he sounds like an absolutely selfish jerk...and honey you do NOT deserve that.

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Kelly,

 

You sound like a very bright and intelligent and strong girl and I am very proud of you for not tolorating being treated this way.

 

Keep up the good work, you are absolutely right that you have to learn to respect yourself and treat yourself that way, and when others see that, it will follow that they will treat you with respect too.

 

Good going, girl!\\

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Hiya

 

I went through something similar and i understand how difficult it is to leave when they act all sweet and as if nothing has happened. But this sweet act is just that - an act, to try and reel you back in. Believe me if you put up with this any longer he will get worse and worse and I've found that even two years on from my bad relationship he is still pestering me and thinking i'm gunna run back to him like i did in the past.

 

Im glad to hear you've kicked his stupid butt out of your life!

 

Stay strong

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