azul Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 This is a Q for men who had cheated to their wives, what do you feel when having sex with the two women, one night one, and the next day the other one. I would like to know, because my husband did it to me. Link to comment
minnie Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 I met a guy at work who had a wife and just found out she was pregnant, then he told me about his other woman. I wanted to know the same thing you are asking now, but he couldnt give me an answer. Alls he said was it was just about sex. He also said this girl was totally different to his wife. He praises his wife day in and day out, when i ask him how he could do this to her - he cant give me an answer. So overall i didnt get any understanding about the situation other than he was being selfish. Link to comment
azul Posted February 4, 2006 Author Share Posted February 4, 2006 My husband as all of you know, had an affair, I asked him how it feel to be with de other woman, he said it is just differnt. It look like they had a great sex together, otherways he won't go to see her every satuday and had sex with her as far as I know five times. It really hurt, this situation really kill me. Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 i don't get how guys can consciously look at themselves in the mirror every morning without being disgusted with theirselves. what kind of morals and values does a guy have that has two woman? I'm really sorry that happened to you azul. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 azul, Is he still with her? Are you still with him? What is the situation like now? Link to comment
azul Posted February 5, 2006 Author Share Posted February 5, 2006 As far as i know he stop the relationship with her as soon AS I found out. today he is very sorry, and this was the hardest time of my life, I never cried and suffer as much as I did with this issue. He said it was the first time that he did it, i don't believe it. now he is really niece with me and after that day he is other men, let see for how long. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Infidility is a really hard thing to get past... especially because the trust is destroyed and it takes time and effort on both parts to get it back. How long ago did this happen to you? Has your husband offered to seek counseling with you? I think it would be a step in the right direction for you both. Link to comment
Bethany Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Even though I am a woman replying to this, I have to ask.. Why are the WOMEN replying when cheating men have been asked to answer? Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Grin Bethany... I was just thinking the same thing. Wanted an answer to this question myself.. lol. I think all the cheatin guys are hiding, ashamed and NOT going to answer. This question has come up before. Link to comment
minnie Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 There you go, it would be much of a thread if we waited on the guys!! Link to comment
floridaguy Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 I have been married for 3 years with 2 young children our sex life is now nonexistent and have been thinking about cheating. So I can understand if he just wanted sex. Link to comment
azul Posted February 7, 2006 Author Share Posted February 7, 2006 Infidility is a really hard thing to get past... especially because the trust is destroyed and it takes time and effort on both parts to get it back. How long ago did this happen to you? Has your husband offered to seek counseling with you? I think it would be a step in the right direction for you both. Well, this happened five months ago. Yes, we went to couple therapist for four weeks, and now I'm seeing a psychologist alone, because It is hard for me to forget the issue. Now he is the men that I always wanted, always home with us, no friends anymore, since that day, he looks very sorry, now he said I'm his happiness and the love of his live. He said it was the first time that he cheated on me, and believe me, before i did not see any sign of it. We were having some issues, when i was angry at him, i just let him sleep by himself for weeks, what a big mistake that I did. This woman gave him what i was not given to him. Link to comment
azul Posted February 7, 2006 Author Share Posted February 7, 2006 I have been married for 3 years with 2 young children our sex life is now nonexistent and have been thinking about cheating. So I can understand if he just wanted sex. Yes, finally I just reallyze after five months of suffering and depression, that it was sex what my husband was looking for. If you want a very good advise, please talk with your wife, you don't have any idea how my life had been after this, it is really painful to know that the men that you love is with someone else. I don't think that you would like to put your wife thruoght this. It will be so painfull for her as well for you. Talk to her, go out together, kiss her, buy flower, say lovely words, maybe she is tire from all the work that motherhood brings. Take a bath together, help her in the house, put the kid to sleep early and talk to her. Good luck! Link to comment
trashy Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 Initially I thought that I could have an affair on the side and still keep my wife satisfied (which frankly does not take much effort). The first time I had sex with her after the affair started I was feeling like an unappreciated stud. The second time I was sad and hurt and mad that she didn't appreciate me like my other woman. I now avoid it altogether because I feel like I am cheating on my girlfriend! It is a very strange place to be in mentally. Link to comment
piers Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 It is a weird place to be, as trashy said. You feel pretty worthless, and hope somehow the whole thing will go away. Exactly how you feel depends on how far develped you are in the affair, and it probably depends on your sex life before the affair. In my case we had good sex always in my marriage, I would even say it was one of the things that was special about us, compared to the relationships I had had before. We both felt that way. At first I felt very guilty, almost paralysed by it. It was only the chemistry of the new relationship that actually made it work at all with the new lover. I didn't initially lose interest in my wife, but that came as I fell more in love with the other woman. I basically transferred affection, and desire. What is strange is that sex was not clearly better with my lover, just newer. I had actually expected it to be worse (which it was for a while). I can see how people could get addicted to it, imagine the first flush of a new passionate relationship, you know it won't last but its fun. I can see how new sex could attract even someone who has a fairly good married sex life. Link to comment
azul Posted March 1, 2006 Author Share Posted March 1, 2006 Tha's what my husband told me about his lover, then i asked him, if it no was so good, why you went to see her the next day after having sex with me. This was the part that really hurt me from his affair, it looks to me like if he was faking with me. his affair last two months, and five sex with her as far as i know. Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 It is a weird place to be, as trashy said. You feel pretty worthless, and hope somehow the whole thing will go away. So What your saying Piers... Your "lover" would have been doing you a huge favor had she just walked away from you. It would have helped you save yourself and your self esteem??? Link to comment
trashy Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 Exactly how you feel depends on how far develped you are in the affair, and it probably depends on your sex life before the affair. In my case we had good sex always in my marriage, I would even say it was one of the things that was special about us, compared to the relationships I had had before. We both felt that way. I would have described my sex life as good as well. But the sex with my lover was not better only because of the 'newness' or the thrill involved with the risk of getting caught. It is just plain better, period. People are different, and I would not want my wife to come to me after 15 years of marriage and threaten to leave me if I could not be a completely different person. And that is how I would feel if I expected her to be like my lover. You don't just suddenly develop a sex drive that goes from once a week to three times a day. You don't just flip a switch and change from random infrequent orgasms to multiple orgasms back to back. And, more importantly, you don't change personalities. Link to comment
Brooding_Goddess Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 I was told that it is possible for a person to love two partners at a time. Or even if he only loves one of them, he can still be with two at the same time. Men dont seem to have a problem with guilt or conscious. They may talk all about morals, ethics and principles but when the are involved, its another story altogether and he would say or do anything to justify the position he is in. Link to comment
spiderman_56 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 A change of the "sex life" , nothing less nothing more , a different person , different rules , different body. However this can lead to more emotional attachment and sexual relations themselves can be more frequent and lead to feelings of love and attachment. Men cheat because of the sex part and women because of emtional reasons ( not in love anymore). Link to comment
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