friend forwarded my private email to third party...what to do?

[patience]

This is a bit weird. I sent a VERY private email to a far-away friend, and when she replied she sent her reply to my email addy, and to another addy I don't recognize. Her reply included my private words to her.

 

I don't know what to do. This could have been a mistake, or maybe the other email addy is hers as well? Maybe she was just testing a new email addy? (but why not say that) I feel kind of weirded out, because a total stranger now knows things about me that are private. I feel violated and vulnerable, but this could have been a careless mistake on her part.

 

Should I call her up and ask her what's up? Any advice?

 

I am not over-reacting, because it was very private. I trusted her to keep our conversations between her and I.

 

I won't be sharing anything that private with email EVER again! Ugh!

[RayKay]

I would just ask her, she may have wanted to copy it to another of her emails, or it may have been accidentaly.

 

But before you imagine the worst, ask her what is up with it!

[blukangarou]

hello,

this has happened to me, i sent a rude email to a guy friend and it got sent to a female friend, i was so embarrassed,

i think you should call your friend, but remember the other person who got your email may not even know you, and your friend may of allready emailed her saying that she sent it by mistake, she could be feeling really bad,

blu x

[DN]

I agree with RayKay. Also, sometimes it is best to explicitly say that this is a private message and not to be shared. What you think is obvious isn't necessarily to someone else, especially regarding private matters.

[patience]

I feel worried that if I ask her, she will think I don't trust her. I feel like it's a catch-22 in that way. I can already hear her sounding defensive. I want to avoid potential conflict if it was just a simple mistake.

 

Maybe I should just let it go and not be so private anymore? Save the private stuff for phone conversations?

 

Maybe she'll notice what she did, and she'll bring it up?

 

It was really private info, so I feel sensitive right now. I know sh*t happens sometimes with email though.

[patience]

and your friend may of allready emailed her saying that she sent it by mistake, she could be feeling really bad,

 

oh, I hadn't thought of that...thank you

 

sometimes it is best to explicitly say that this is a private message and not to be shared

 

I should have thought of that. Thanks.

[Bethany]

If it's someone on MSN, you could check their profile to see who it is. I would still mention it to her, as you may have good reason not to trust her. I would be uncomfortable with anyone who did that to me.

[patience]

how can I check their profile?

[DN]

I would talk to your friend about it but not in any sort of confrontational style. You might say something like "Hey, I noticed that the e-mail I sent you was forwarded to someone else. I am assuming that was a mistake because you already know that it was very private. Would you mind just checking the recipient list in the future to make sure that no one else is told - it's a little embarrassing."

[Bethany]

how can I check their profile?

 

 

[patience]

DN, I like the idea of saying I noticed. That's good. Thanks. I need to keep it simple, and not have an emotional reaction without having the facts first. She will for sure say something after I say I noticed. I should talk to her on the phone, the tone in her voice will say a lot.

 

Bethany...I tried the link. It doesn't seem to be working. The person probably doesn't have a profile then. Oh, well. Thanks anyway.

[Relationship Coach]

Patience,

I agree with DN on this, you certainly want to find out but the approach needs to be non confrontational. I would ask directly who is _ _ _ _@_ _ _ _ _? (she will then either tell you or ask why) Then I would state, "I couldn't help but to notice that my private email as forwarded to _ _ _ _@_ _ _ _ _, and I was just curious." If it was sent to someone else then of course you would have every right to question her on why she would share such a private email with someone else. In the future be careful what you pen your name to, save those conversations for phone calls.

 

RC

[patience]

Thanks RC.

[shyanne]

it could be just a mistake. i have done that before TWICE, honest mistake.... sometimes you can click on a contact without knowing. once was a very private email like yours and i had no idea i did that until it was pointed out. very embarrassing......i think its important you tell her so she can be more careful.

[patience]

Hi everyone. Well, we talked. It was an accident. We talked about her being more careful in the future. I've also decided not to send such personal info. again anyway.

 

Thanks for the support and advice all of you! I appreciate it!

[RayKay]

Hi everyone. Well, we talked. It was an accident. We talked about her being more careful in the future. I've also decided not to send such personal info. again anyway.

 

Thanks for the support and advice all of you! I appreciate it!

 

Good to hear it was an accident, I hope she contacted the person and said so!

 

On the plus side, at least the mystery person does not know you, right?

 

A good idea anyway, it's better to save it for the phone if it is that personal. Even if she had not accidentally sent it out, you never know whom else can break into her account, and so forth.

[patience]

No, the mystery person doesn't know me, so I feel less embarrassed.