Some New disturbing info on EX BF

[coollady1957]

Some of you know me already from my original post about my BF at the time and what I needed to do. For those of you that dont know, the link to my thread is below, if you want to learn a bit of history on this.

 

 

Now this is my concern...... Today I saw a member of his family in town and they were asking me how I am doing since the break up. MOst of his family agrees that he was a horrible person for what he did. THis particular family member asked me out of concern for me, if I had known that he a prior history of Hepatitis C approximately 5 years ago. This person told me that he had HEP C and was on Interferon treatment for a year, but that now every year afterward he was clear of the active virus. HOwever he has the HEP C antibodies in his system for life. I always insisted on safe sex with him anyway, just because i wanted to be cautious of catching anything. I have read alot on the HEP C today on the medical sites here. It seems that it is the least serious of the HEP viruses, and the hardest to pass along to some one else. IF I understand correctly it is passed mainly through blood to blood contact, and that sex is a rare way to contract the virus. Supposedly his treatments took care of the active virus but I have yet to find any info on whether or not if even though the virus is gone if I could any way be in danger if some how his blood with the antibodies in it some how entered my body. From what I undertood from his family member is that he gets a check up every year on the HEP C because it could some how become active again. I am no medical person and have no clue on all this other than what I read and try to comprehend.

I am very disturbed that he did not disclose this to me at the start of our relationship. EVen though we practiced safe sex and sex is suppose to be a rare way to transfer the HEP C, I stil have alot of concerns. I have an appointment with my family doctor in two weeks to discuss this with him and get a blood test to satisfy my mind. I wonder what do you all think about this and whether or not he should have disclosed his entire prior health history to me. Am i over reacting??? . Should i say anything to him about his personally???? I am very upset over this and I feel that he should have told me so that I could have made my own decisions on further safety and precautions. I keep thinking what IF the virus could become active again, and

IF it did and he diddnt know it , and what IF some how by some freak thing that I could have got it from him some how. I just need some input on this. What do you all think about him not telling me. I understand that a persons medical history should be private to an extent, but yet I feel that its something that I should have been made aware of.

[sonjam]

I agree, it was very wrong of him not to disclose this to you, and it is a good thing you are going for a checkup. I suppose that is now just another reason to feel angry, since it is already done.

[coollady1957]

Yes it makes me very very angry. I broke it off with him ON jan 3 due to his lying and cheating. ANd now to find out of his previous HEP C and that he must have felt it wasnt important enough to have let me know it was part of his past medical history, I am just more furious than ever. I so much want to give him a big big piece of my mind at this point. So far I have had NO contact with him whatsoever since the day of the break up. I would prefer to keep it that way, but I am just so mad that I feel the need to tell him what I think of this, But it could get very ugly if I did so. Wow I am just overwhelmed at the whole thing.

[Dako]

I'm furious. I can't think of a polite term for this ------- after what he's done to you, and then you find out he hid this from you! Not only am I very sorry to hear this, but how could anyone would be so callous to risk your health for no reason? He should be neutered with a rusty shovel.

I hope your doctor can give you reassurance as soon as possible.

Please keep us posted.

My prayers are with you.

[darkblue]

I'm with Dako.

What an inconsiderate (*profanitive*).

 

My thoughts are with you, and my fingers crossed.

[LiquidCherry]

What he did was terrible and you have every right to be angry. I'm in school right now to be a Dental Hygienist and Hep C is an occupational risk, it's highly pathogenic, especially blood to blood. It is an STD though and I believe that is mainly how it is transmitted even though it is not passed as easily as it is directly through the blood stream. I believe that in about 85% of the people infected it is a life long disease which means that they are capable of transmiting the disease life long.

 

What I'm going to say next I'm not totally sure of, it's my logical assumption.. IF your ex doesn't have the active virus I don't believe that you could have gotten infected. I'm pretty sure. I had to be immunized against the virus (many offices won't hire unless you've had it) and so a blood test would show that I test positive for the antibodies even though I've never had the virus. It is impossible for me to transmitt the virus. What worries me is that it is possible for the virus to become active in his body again. Many viruses go through a dormant period and awaken at any given time.

 

I'm glad you have a doctor appointment and I'm glad that you always used protection. That, combined with the fact that the virus most likely wasn't active in his body at that time minimizes your risk.

 

I think he's a scum bag for not telling you.

[RayKay]

Oh hon!

 

As if you needed more on your plate at this point....

 

Hep C is VERY serious if contracted, it affects your liver seriously, and from what I know of, eventually it is fatal in it's complications. Very scary indeed, it has become only more recently understood when Pamela Anderson came out about her diagnosis/battle with Hep C.

 

However, as you already know, it is harder to contract sexually in most cases, and much more common through blood to blood contact (very common thereforeeee among injection drug users)...however...it is still able to be contracted.

 

I don't think you are overreacting at all, he should of most DEFINITELY disclosed this information to you prior to sexual contact. It's not that unreal to imagine even if there was no sexual transmission, you might not have had contact with his blood at some point (ie bleeding nose or cut that somehow got into an open sore/cut on you). That would of given you the ability to research it, educate yourself about it and make decisions for you. He is horrible, selfish and an absolutely vile person for putting your life at risk like this.

 

I am glad you are going to see your doctor, make sure to get lots of infomration information along with testing. These may be tests you need to get regularly for a while to ensure you are free of the virus.

 

As a side note, there was a recent case in Winnipeg of a man whom had HIV, Hep A & B, whom slept with a woman without disclosing it to her. So far she has tested free of it, but he just got almost 3 years in jail for criminal negligence.

[coollady1957]

You are right RayKay. I didnt need more on my plate at this point. I didnt sleep much at all last night. I was restless , woke up every hour on the hour. Just when I was feeling so much better and feeling like I am making such great progress with moving on with things, then I learn of this new info about him. His brother is the one that told me about it yesterday. His brother and wife said they had discussed it and felt that I should know about it, and some how felt that my EX BF might not have disclosed this to me. They felt I needed to know for my health's sake. I am so thankful that they told me. However its very disturbing. I cant for the life of me figure out how some one could be so horrible to have not told me of this health issue. It feels like he just took my life in to his own hands. I really dont think there is a chance that I could have gotten anything. But I feel I should have been at the very least informed . If I am interpreting what I read correctly... even though the virus is not active currently, that it can resurface after lying dormant, and that is why he has to go back yearly for further tests. I am definitely seeing the doctor for my own tests and get all the info I can from him about this. Even though the chances are slim to none that I could have gotten anything at this point, I still just need to be sure. The anger that I have right now is unexplainable. I have no words that can describe the anger I feel toward him. I so want to give him a piece of my mind on all this, but I feel I would lose all sense of control. Every dirty nasty crude word that I can think of right now describes what I feel about him and his hiding this from me. HE is an evil nasty snake!!! Those are the only words that I can put in on the forum that is acceptable.

[coollady1957]

I cant seem to get past this strong urge to tell him exactly what I think about him for not disclosing this info to me. My anger and rage is at an all time high about this. I keep thinking I shouldnt say anything to him, and just take charge of my health with keeping my doctor appointment and just being concerned only with my well being. I have had no contact with him since jan 3 when I broke it off with him. But that urge to give him my 2 cents worth and then some, about his negligence is eating at me. Should I or should I not ??

[Dako]

After the appointment it might be a good time to consider ripping him to pieces if it helps you heal.

[coollady1957]

I am sure my frustrations will cease some down the line with this situation. Right now its just unbelievable that some one could hold back something as he did ,that COULD be very important to ones health. But yes at the moment I would love to rip him up one side and down the other with what I feel I need to say. I am typically not a person that stays mad or gets upset easily, and I dont enjoy confrontations, But this may be one of those times I have to truly speak my mind to him about this in the future when the time is right.

I am just horribly hurt that he had no regard for me or my health.

[newts]

This man is absolutely disgusting! I think it is highly unlikely you have contracted this illness, however, what a complete w @ n ke r! This is a very serious illness and should be disclosed to all sexual partners. I am so glad you were careful with this man and used protection.

 

I just can't get over this man, I wouldn't wish him on my enemy. He is like somebody out of a horror movie.

[coollady1957]

For those of you who have followed and given advice on everything I have gone through with the cheating lying boyfriend, I want to thank you again.

I did go for my doctor appointment last week. They did the blood tests and every thing came back ( negative ) clean. So I am happy to have gotten that behind me. I felt that it would have been rare for me to have gotten anything, but some how I had that bit of uncertainty in my thoughts. I am just so glad now to be rid of him.

[Dako]

That's good to hear!

Now you know you really are rid of him, even microscopically.

Thanks for the update

[ShySoul]

Good to hear coollady. You are free of him and can get on to enjoying the rest of your life without having to worry about him.