Boricua7 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Here's my issue: I still love my ex very much. Neither of us is involved with anyone else. I have never been so close to another human being in my life. I know for a fact that he still loves me. He tells me whenever we talk. We broke up because when we got to college we were so stressed out from school and eachother and we decided to break it off. It was more his decision and I just agreed. Anyway, he is coming to visit me this weekend. He goes to Georgia Tech and I go to UGA (they are less than 2 hours away). He is staying the weekend and I'm not sure what to do or expect. We have little room so he'd probably sleep in the same bed as me. What if he tries to kiss me? Should I kiss him back or tell him to back off? Should I make him sleep on the floor to avoid any physical contact or should I let him hold me and kiss me; I mean, I want him to do all of those things because I miss him terribly but I don't know if I should let him, you know? I don't want to make it easy for him. I don't want him to think that he can just have me whenever he wants me. What should I do? Ahhhhh!!! Link to comment
RayKay Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Book him a hotel, get him to stay with a friend, or give him a sleeping bag on the floor to sleep in the living room. I don't want him to think that he can just have me whenever he wants me. Which is exactly why you should not let him have you whenever he feels he wants you. Sleeping with an ex is a bad idea, well, any sexual intimacy and this includes cuddles is a bad idea. It will only make you feel worse afterwards, and won't give you the commitment you want. That reconciliation should be established before you do take those steps. Link to comment
NR498E Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I say follow your heart.If you still love him and he still loves you then you can't go wrong.I'm not saying just sleep with him but be open to the fact that anything can happen.If you get a bad feeling then put him on the floor.If you feel all warm and fuzzy inside then do what you feel. Link to comment
The door mat Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 hey my new friend.... well i agree with andy stone. fallow your heart do what you think is right but please you know what im going through dont give in if you know nothing is going to come out of it. You have been such a great help to me I would not want you to write me back telling me all the things i tell you. Stay strong, Make him work for it. He knows he broke it off. So make sure that his intentions are good towards you. I know that this doesn not sound like much coming from someone who does the opposite but im only giving you the advice that you would give to me... you know what to do. Listen to you!! Link to comment
DN Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I second what RayKay said. Make it clear, preferably before he comes, that there will be no sex or intimacy in that way. That is what people in a relationship do, otherwise you would be friends with benefits and that would not be healthy for you if you want him back. Don't give way - even if you want to. It will not serve your best interests. Of course, if he genuinely wants to get back together and commits to doing that, then that is a different matter. But don't put the cart before the horse. Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 Thank you all of responding to my post. It's so hard to be "strong". I have decided that when he gets here I will tell him that if he wants more than just friends then he is welcome to sleep in the bed with me but if not that the floor will be where he sleeps. It was his decison to break it off so it is him who needs to make up his mind about us. I know what I want. It is him who is unsure. I have not been intimate with him since the break so sex was never an option. I believe that sex is passion shared between two people who love eachother and want to be together. If I doubt whether the other person wants to be with me or loves me then there is no sex. I know he loves me but because I know he is unsure as to whether he wants to be in a relationship I will not allow him to "get the best of me" so to speak. I refuse to let him have the benefits of the relationship without the committment or responsibilities. It wouldn't be fair to me. The reason he's coming is because he wants to "talk". I'll keep everyone updated. Hopefully this "talk" will be a positive one. I guess we'll see soon then won't we? Link to comment
DN Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Good luck - be prepared for any eventuality but if he does want to get back together with you make sure that the problems that caused the break-up can be solved. Link to comment
RayKay Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Good luck Boricua, it sounds like you are being smart about it, and I think you can stay strong! Let him do the talking too, see what HE says, before you say anything. Gather your thoughts. Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 Good luck - be prepared for any eventuality but if he does want to get back together with you make sure that the problems that caused the break-up can be solved. Oh I'm definitely keeping in mind the fact that this weekend could go VERY wrong. I hope it won't though. I'm not expecting anything from him but to just hang out with me and have fun. I don't want to get my hopes up or anything. I'm letting him come to me. He's already coming to me in a sense so I guess it can't all be bad. Link to comment
DN Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I hope you get what you deserve and makes you happy in the long run, no matter what happens at the weekend. Let us know how things go. Link to comment
NR498E Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 I have decided that when he gets here I will tell him that if he wants more than just friends then he is welcome to sleep in the bed with me but if not that the floor will be where he sleeps. I hope your not going to flat out ask him this question.I hate to say it but he will tell you yes for sure then. Link to comment
The door mat Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 I wish you the best of luck this weekend i hope all goes well.. keep us updated. Link to comment
lovecrazy Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 Hey girl! I am in ATL as well..I have a few friends that go to UGA! Anways....if you feel you are ready to be physical with your ex, then do it. But if not, just tell him this weekend is as friends. ONLY! If he cant accept that, then tell him to go home! You dont need any added pressure, just try and enjoy each others company! Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted January 27, 2006 Author Share Posted January 27, 2006 I hope your not going to flat out ask him this question. I hate to say it but he will tell you yes for sure then. I could see why you'd say this. MOST guys would say whatever it takes to get in someone's pants. I know for a fact that he wouldn't do this so I'm not worried about it at all. I do, however, plan on wording it a little less bluntly and less in-your-face. Nevertheless, he will know that I don't want him near me if he isn't ready for what comes with being with someone (comittment, responsibility, time,...etc). Hey girl! I am in ATL as well..I have a few friends that go to UGA! Anways....if you feel you are ready to be physical with your ex, then do it. But if not, just tell him this weekend is as friends. ONLY! If he cant accept that, then tell him to go home! You dont need any added pressure, just try and enjoy each others company! Sending him home is something I really wouldn't have considered just because I would never think things would get to the point where I would have to; if need be, I will do so. I just want to enjoy my time with him because I love him and I love how happy I am and how much fun I have when we're together. As much as I want to start dating again, I am content with simply having him around. Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted January 30, 2006 Author Share Posted January 30, 2006 CLICK THE LINK BELOW FOR THE UPDATE! Link to comment
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