How long is normal for a woman?

[romanticlover]

Hello, many of you have been seing my posts about my current issues with my girlfriend not being in the mood, trying to regain her passion, etc. Well it's been a week or so now since we had our last long talk about this mess. Out of curiosity, how long do some of you women or men think this bug will last? If a woman is not in the mood for any reason, or there is an emotional issue that is in the way, how long does it usually take to get over it? She is 33, 7 yr old daughter and works. Could this go for weeks, months? Has it taken some of you women this long to get over things? What is the best thing for me to do? I have not been pressuring her, but it really is eating away at me the fact that she has no passion or lust for me. Kissing her seems like there is nothing there at times, she won't try to just pleasure me, I mean nothing. I'm assuming it's cause she has this mental issue going on. Just trying to get inside a woman's head and see how long it could take to come around. Have any guys ever had to deal with this and how long have you waited? Thanks

[Becks23]

I personally think you need to be more patient with her.. I personally can be in the mood and want it there and then but on the other hand, if lot is going on in my life, I just can't be bothered or in the mood.. I would say it's a personal preference and everyone is different.. It's good that you have talked to her about it.. Just be there for her in everyway possible and keep patient..

Becks xx

[RayKay]

Hmm, I would say it's not a good sign honestly. Even if I am stressed out, have a lot of life issues going on (like I do know...I can say the stress is astronomical) I still have passion for my partner, I still care about them, about pleasing them, about intimacy. And I have been in long term relationships so I do know that even past the "honeymoon" stage the passion and sexual intimacy are there.

 

I don't know, in my personal experiences, and those of people I know, when you no longer want to sleep with them or no longer have passion, it's a sure sign the feelings are changing (not for the positive).

 

I also have seen many guys on this forum (ie Spader, SlipperySammy) whom have gone through a lack of sex from their partner for ages, with no resolution....though the guys lose a lot of their confidence over time, it really hurts your self esteem to be rejected over and over.

 

The thing is, this is an issue that she needs to resolve too. If she does not want to even work on it, I would be even more concerned then I would if she was saying "my libido is low, I am going to go see my doctor/therapist or maybe we should try this". The latter she recognizes it is an issue and is working on it, in the former she is absolving her part in it. Not good signs.

[romanticlover]

Interesting. It's really bringing me down to be honest. I said to her today that it makes me really upset knowing that you have no desire or passion for me and she said " but honey, you know deep down that's not true. It's how you take it and make it out to be is how it really is." I thought for a few minutes about it and said 2 myself, well I am feeling this way not because of the way I am taking it, it's because your making me feel this way. I'm not the one turning her down. Geez. Well she wants to work in it, but it seems that the way for her to get through this is for me to not act like I want it so bad and to just go with the flow. Honestly there is no flow in my eyes. Her flow is when she is in the mood type deal. I have been laying off and also she just got her period so its gonna be a wek or so before anything even happens. But she shows no interest in giving me pleasure. Not even any type of oral, kissing, letting me pleasure myself, etc... NOTHING for weeks now. I feel like I have a better chance of hooking up with a complete stranger than I do her. But the thing is that she keeps saying how much she loves me, how lucky she is, etc etc every day and that she will get through this. Like I said, I am trying to be there for her, but she doesn't realize how it's hurting me emotionally. She can't separate the 2. Sex and love. To me they go together. Is it possible to not have any sexual passion for them, but love them and be happy with them in a relationship? Adn i feel if I brign this up, she will make me feel as if I am pressuring, nagging her again and it will all start from the beginning. Please help. I'm really torn. Thanks.

[romanticlover]

Strange but good thing happened tonight. I really need some input on this as it could be a turning point. Tonight my girlfriend who I have been having these non passionate issues with, came over to hang out. I have been really down lately and today it really showed. Been affecting me at work, and socially. Well I told her today I was really upset. She came over and we watched a movie and cuddled. We do this quite often. See everything in the relationship is there except the intimate part lately. Well I have been complaining that she has not had any passion or lust for me lately also. She told me today deep down that I know it's not like that and not true. Well at the end of the movie, we started kissing. Lately when we start kissing, it feels bad and just ends up in little pecks from her and she was saying that I was forcing it. Well we kissed before like we haven't kissed in months. It felt amazing for how long it lasted. Not very long, but we used tongue and just was very deep. Here's where it get's tricky. I told her, honey I have been wanting to kiss you like that for so long. It felt amazing. SHE SAYS, then why haven't you? I almost fainted. I said, ummmmm cause you haven't been in the mood. Ane everytime we kiss, you don't seem into it. She said that I didn't seem into it also and I made no efforts to kiss her in a nice way. I said well every time I tried, you felt like I was forcing it. She said I never use my tongue anymore, bla bla...I was in shock. I said you were the one that crushed my ego and self esteem and how could I be into it when each time I tried to kiss you, you had an issue. I didn't want to start a debate as she had to leave. BUt I found this rather interesting. I thought 2 things, Is she getting her mojo back????? Or has she completely lost it? I don't know what to make of this. I'm trying to be positive cause I haven't felt so nice kissing her in a long time. Seems liek she didn't hold back this time. People plse share your comments. Could this be what I have been waiting for? I am still going to chill cause I know how she is. This could be a 10 minute phase. hmmm