please help

[NikE-ElitE]

i dont want to write a book in describing my problem so ill try to make it fast,

i have everything it seems to the outside going for me , iam a record holding track athlete , i have plaenty of friends , i was a starting runningback for my team which almost won the championship, but all this doesnt help me, i just tried to kill my self a few weeks ago and i put myself in a coma for 3 and a half days from overdoseing on pills, now iam on medication(doesnt take away pain) and every now and again i talk to some one i have not told and kids at my school.

i just cant seem or dont know how to deal with all the pressure from my school, trying to hold up my image as a perfect athlete, extremley devestating problems with a a piticular girl iam all for, all my past pain from my parent divorce when i was very young, abusive father, and total loss of my confidence in myself and god to get me were i want to go in life, iam thinking about overdosing again on pills in a few days but this time i wwont

call 911 when i start to get the effects of the drugs no matter how scared i truly iam. plz send any feedback this is one of my last options.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Bro, I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling so down and distraught. Being a an exceptional athlete must make things really hard on you, plus dealing with girls and split up parents. Thats very rough man.

 

Have you sought out the help of a professional counselor to talk with about things?

 

If you'd like immediate assistance, there are two really good suicide hotlines:

1-800-784-2433 and

 

1-800-273-8255

[teacup]

you sound like a talented strong young man...the reason i say this is...it takes a lot of guts to kill yourself even when u feel strong emotional pain. i've felt that kind of pain before......it hurts so bad, but i've never had the guts to kill myself ever.

 

sometimes no matter how bad things get.....if you just keep going.....even throughout all the pain you dont think you will make it......somehow you do.

 

would you consider seeing a counselor?? writing out what bothers you?

 

i am so sad to hear your story.

[ShySoul]

Hello [NikE-ElitE].

 

If you do want immediate help and someone to talk to directly, call the numbers that LostInMyThoughts gave you. And know that you can say anything on this board, there are lots of good people here who will do our best to help you through this and work out your problems.

 

You sound like you have had a rough time of things, and its ok that you don't know how to handle things perfectly. Abuse in particular can be tramautic and leave people scared for years. Divorce is never easy, no matter how the age of a child. Given all that, whatever happened with this girl was probably even more devastating for you then it would be for most. It's ok to be sad and depressed. I'm guessing that the athelete thing is a way to feel better about yourself? It's like a way of dealing with everything else, figuring that you are good at that and it makes up for other things you lack? (just guessing based on other stories I've heard, may not necessarily apply to you) But at the same time it hurts you because you think you have to be good at it, live up to expectations you put on yourself and those put on you by others. That piles on the pressure. You have had to deal with so much, and that is more. It's overwhelming and you don't know how to handle it.

 

First thing is to realize, you don't always have to be strong. You don't have to be the perfect athlete. It's ok to admit that you can't handle something. And if something is too much for you to deal with, don't do it. If being an athlete is killing you inside because of the stress, it isn't worth it. Take time off to get yourself together, work on your confidence, deal with the other issues bothering you. Then when you feel ready you can return to it. It's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, its probably the best thing for you.

 

Second thing is to talk to someone about it. Talk about it on here. Go to a counselor. How is your mom, can she handle hearing about this? If you keep these feelings in you, they will get worse. You need to let people know how you feel, get help from those who care about you.

 

Remember, suicide isn't going to solve these problems. As bad as you feel now, at least you are alive to feel it and there is the chance at something better. If you kill yourself, you may not feel the pain, but you can never feel all the good things in life either and will never have the chance at something more. And it just creates pain for those that care about you. Suicide isn't worth it.

 

If you want to talk more, please post. We are all thinking of you.

[Dako]

You really would benefit from talking to an expert about this.

 

When I was 14, I was suicidal because my family life was a disaster, I took on too much responsibility trying to cope with other people's problems. I was treated by a professional back when psychiatry wasn't very sophisticated and recovered my sense of humor and happiness.

forty years later I can look back at how much pleasure life has brought.

These days doctors have discovered much better ways to deal with despression, whether it's chemical or situational.

 

You can benefit from toughness and independance as an athlete, but we all need help at times. Be strong enough to seek it. All it takes is a phone cal to start things rolling, and you'll learn about ways to get back to yourself. It really works.

 

People care about you.

[NikE-ElitE]

shysoul, you sound like a very well rounded and set person i respect that. but giving up on my sports would kill me just about as fast as a bullet through my head. I wish i could understand how life is worth it i just cant see how all this hell is worth going through i dont know how and to add fuel to the fire the girl that causes some unimagineable pain just noticed the gashes on my wrist today(everyone changed classes) and she it seems is almost afraid of me now how can i blame her she probly just didnt see that coming espicaly from me...

[Dako]

Please call a suicide hotline and tell them how you feel. You'll be treated with respect. Often the person answering that number has been in your shoes, questioning the importance of all this misery. They found a way out and can help you do it too.

 

When you're this low, every lttle thing can feel like a crushing burden. Relationship trouble must seem like a mountain on your back.

 

When you get yourself in shape mentally, you can deal with these problems better and might be an even better athlete without so much emotional pain. Right now you need some time for yourself.

 

I called a hotline 5 months ago when I was at my lowest point. I was so far gone there's no doubt that call saved my life and prevented pain for those who care about me. I can laugh and play today only because I got help and learned to care for myself.

 

I really want you to find your way out of this pain. I know you can.

[ShySoul]

Don't give up on the sports then, was just an idea. I get that its a passion, something that you really love. If people asked me to give up what I love I would be lost to. Then you need to find a way to handle the pressure, not feel like you have to be the best at it. I'm a perfectionist, always wanted to be the best and had a hard time accepting when I wasn't. But all you can do is try your hardest. If you do your best, people won't be disappointed. I think you are putting extra pressure on yourself, and thats hurting more then its helping.

 

I've been through rough times and know people who have had it even worse. One person in particular stands out in my mind. She was abused and has gone through all kinds of trauma in her life. Yet she became one of the best people I've ever known. She's still struggling in a lot of ways as well, but shes doing better and is on her way to a good life. I always say that if she can be such a great person after the pain she has felt, then we can overcome anything and be better off for it.

 

I don't know why some of us have to hurt so bad. But we can get through it and come out better people. We will know that we are strong and endure things. We'll have a better understanding of the hurt others feel and treat others better. It might not seem like that now, but it does get better in time.

 

Dako gave some good advice. You should call a hotline or consider talking to someone about this. They are more trained to help you then I am, though I'm here to help in any way I can. I too want to see you get through this.

[Darketernal]

What you need is professional help and theraphy as well as a better way of life.

 

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By reading these near death experiences, you can come to understand what life is truelly about , and redefine your senses on what really matters in life.

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And on top of that you need to take away the pressure in in life. You see the human body is like a steam kettle, if its too hot it will overpressurize and explode, if its too cold it won't produce any results, so you need to keep your life hot without overexaggerating things, you'll only wreck your body and thus your future if you do so.

 

What you need to start to do is to make walks in nature and come to your senses on what events really make your life important, you see nothing in the universe will make you happy exept love. thereforeeee all these things that you do won't maake you happy, only by loving and helping other people this love and happyness will be casted back on you giving you a smile on your face for in lord knows how long its been.

[ShySoul]

[NikE-ElitE],

 

In case you are still lurking around or one day decide to drop by the site again, I hope you are doing well and that things are going good for you.I'm thinking about you. Update us on how you are, and we are always here if you need someone.