Confused about attraction

[dboybbfs]

I am very confused about attraction.

 

Here's the deal: girls ignore me! At school, gym or any other public place I visit, no girls ever talk to me. They don't ask me any questions. They don't look at me-At least not when I'm looking. Yet at every job I have ever had, many of my female coworkers were attracted to me. The only way I knew this was because they were so open about it. I know I am good looking. A lot of girls have said that I am very cute and handsome. I am also pretty tall (6'2") and am very muscular/lean. I know girls like that sort of thing. The thing is, I am not mean or superficial about my looks. In fact I am pretty shy. I am always nice to anyone I talk to and keep a good, lively conversation. But at school, gym, bus, library or anywhere else for that matter, no girls ever want to get to know me. It makes me think I am very ugly. Only one girl has ever asked me out in my life. She was a coworker of mine and was 30 with 2 kids. I'm 19. That would have been too much for me! Please excuse me for the long post but I have thought long and hard on this and am stumped!

 

What's up???

 

thank you to anyone who replies.

[easyguy]

What vibes do you send off when you're at work verses your gym/school/public life?

[ducky]

Only one girl has ever asked me out in my life.

 

You seem a nice enough person, and people tell you that you're handsome. So what's stopping you from being the one to ask girls out?

 

Start noticing people, instead of waiting for people to notice you. Perhaps you'll then realise that people will start taking interest in you!

 

Good luck!

[shyanne]

most young girls are intimidated by good looking guys. whereas older women are more confident in their sexuality and able to ask men out. you want someone your age then you'll have to do the courting.

[sweetheart230]

Oh my goodness! I've been asking over and over the same question, except I wonder why I dont' get asked out all the tiem by guys. I know I'm very pretty and lots of guys are attracted to me.

 

But girls are shy, too! And if you're as handsome as you say you are, then they are probably terrified of you rejecting them. Sometimes I actually avoid especially cute guys out of nervousness. I realized I had to flirt, be more open and friendly looking.

 

Guys are expected to make the first move, traditionally. Just smile, make eye contact and strike up conversations about anything. Girls will love it! And if they don't, they are probably in a bad mood or already have a boyfriend.

[Carnatic]

I think it is also a lot easier to approach someone at work too. You always have something mundane that you could use as an excuse to have to talk to a co-worker you fancy; and there's always that feeling in a working environment that you should be communicating as much as possible anyway. In a public place it takes a lot more guts, and as I have found out, girls don't approach guys as much anyway.

 

Also depending on the age of all your co-workers and the girls you notice in public, it could be more of a case of older women being more confident.

 

I think this has a lot in common with my situation. Well girls do approach me and I don't even think I'm that good looking, but I just don't realise it when it's happening. So I will maybe give a more considered reply later.

[Kevin T]

I can totally relate to the topic starter. It's the same for me. I find I tend to get the cold shoulder with most women too. I'm even built like you; tall, thin but muscular. I'm rather shy - with good looking girls anyway, myself. But, if you've been asked out by even one women, you're doing better than me! (Can't say I've ever had a girl ask me out; it's usually the other way around!)

 

It's ironic though, some of you say girls are "intimidated" by attractive men. Are you sure? I have found that (when I actually do get attention from girls, it's almost always from the unattractive ones; never the attractive ones), which makes me too, feel like I'm ugly (which I know is really not true, but still...)

 

Bottomline, it's very frustrating. The whole guys making the first move thing is such a pain in the neck. Considering how far the women's movement has come, you'd think they would be willing to suffer a little rejection for a change.