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Your My Only Hope.. Plz Help Me..!

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hey.. this might take awhile.. but i tried talking to everyone abt it and no one can help so i just thought i'll give it a shoot here...


well, my story started around 4 yrs back.. when i had a crush on a guy.. and then we started talking and it turned into liking him and a while later i fell for him and couldnt imagine my life without him.. it was weird at the beginning coz we werent used to eachother other and he didnt like me back then...so after 7month we broke up.. and we had so many problems back then... but after that we got back together.... i knew that he didnt love me as much as i do.. and i knew that he couldnt forget his first love as they r really close friends now.. i didnt have a problem with that ebcoz he was completely honest with me and i trusted him a lot.. i knew abt everything and i dnt blame him for anything and i'll never do.. he told me he got back to me becoz he knows how much i love him and he told me that he wanted to love me and get over his first love.. he told me that he wanted me to make him think abt me 24/7 .. and he promised himself that he'll try his best to make me the happiest girl on earth.,, and im having him in mylife makes me the happiest girl on earth...


the problem that im facing now is that im not doin the right thing.. im not showing him that i love him, he says that i only say it and i dnt show it.. i dnt know what else i can do.. i ask abt him, say i love him call him every 30min.. he likes that but he says that this is not enough.. those r things that all relationship should have.. he wants more and i dnt know what.. if i ask he says i have to figure it out by myself he tells me sometimes what he used to do to the girl that he loved.. and i try doin the same.. but again its not enough.... i wanna know what can i do to make him believe that i do love him and how am i suppose to prove it...its driving me crazy.. i wanna do anythin to make him love me becoz thats wat he wants he wants to love me but im not helping.. i tell him that i try my best...but it never works.. what am i supposed to do... i love him more then anythin in my whole world... but im not good in showing or proving it.. its driving me crazy.. i know that love isnt just a word... i need ur help.. i have to make things woork out and im sure that he likes me a lot now and he wants me to help in making him love me. he wants that.. what can we do abt it.. plz ppl ur my only hope. and thx for any replies...=)

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Sounds like its a problem with your boyfriend and not you.


We all express love differently. I show my affection with gifts, sending flowers, surprises, etc. My ex-wife showed it by going out of her way to do little things like going out and getting us dessert, etc.


All you can do is be yourself, and if thats not good enough for you boyfriend, dump him and move on.


There are plenty of guys out there who will love and appreciate you for who you are.

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I'm sorry your BF is putting you through this modern day "Rumpelstiltskin" routine. Have the two of you had sex? Is this his way of getting you in bed? He sounds immature, proving love is subjective and he just wants to see how many hoops you will jump through. He said that "he" wanted to love you, is this a competition for him? He senses your desires to please him and not lose him again and he is taking advantage of you. What if he said "hey if you really love me you will have sex with me and my ex gf" , what would you do then?


The only thing he is proving is that he has no concept of love. Sorry but you deserve love, not the "Love Me" game.



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I agree with Relationship Coach. It sounds a bit like this guy is trying to get you to BE his ex-girlfriend.


Whatever, you cannot have a healthy relationship when someone is demanding you act or behave in a particular way. You want this relationship to last? Then put your foot down and tell him he should love you the way you are or take a hike.

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i cant just let go of everything we had.. he's an amazing person he makes me happy, treats me soo good, cares abt me a lot, and is really honest with me.. he just wants me to help him get over his first love, he needs me around him and he made this clear to me from the beginning.. but i just dnt know what to do, thats wht im asking for, i need to know how should i help him get over her becoz he wants too, he wants to get over her soo bad..but im not helping!.. he wants to love me and be with me he tells me that whenever we talk abt it... im not doin the right thing becoz i dnt know how, i never felt that way before, he's my first love and i dnt know how to handle it.. i had lots of bfs before just becoz i was looking for fun not love.. but with him, i knew what love is and im ready to do whatever it takes to make him believe that my love is true and help him get over his first love and btw... him and his first love never got together, they were just friends he didnt want her to know.. i even know the girl and i talk to her, she never knew abt his feelings.. anyyways i'll get back to the subject..i just need ur help with my situation.. i talked to so many ppl but no one understood how i feel.. i hope u guys do and plz try to put urself in my position what will u do and keep in mind i can never let go..

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i dnt know... he wants me to make him feel special and loved and if i ask him how he says, "thats what love is, u have to figure it out by urself, if i told u what is it u'll only be doin on becoz i told u too not becoz u knew what makes me happy and did it by urself".. i know its weird, but thats what he says...

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"thats what love is, u have to figure it out by urself, if i told u what is it u'll only be doin on becoz i told u too not becoz u knew what makes me happy and did it by urself"


With all due respect, that is just a load of crap.


This guy wants something but he is too scared/embarrassed to ask. There are no "rules" attached to how you show someone you love them. How can you make someone happy if they do not tell you what makes them happy....seriously!


Next time he raises this with you, ask him to give you one example of what he is talking about, not the whole box and dice, just one example. Then tell us what he comes up with.

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It sounds like this guy is using you to feel good about himself. He knows that you love him and that is a big ego boost for him. The more you give, then the more he will take. I'm sorry, but a guy does not stay with a woman because he knows she loves him and he wants to try to have feelings for you. He either has feelings for you or he doesn't. I think the one way you would and he would truly know is if you just stopped talking to him. I realize that when you love someone, you will take what ever bit of love or affection they will give, but what he is giving is not enough. Instead of worrying about what you can give him, take a look at what he is giving you. Do you really want to be with someone who does not have the same feelings as you? You are settling and the longer this goes on, the more hurt you will be in the future. He is using you to get over the pain of his ex. I know you don't want to hear this, but you need to dump him and if he loves you, then he will come after you. If he does not love you, then he will just find another woman to stroke his ego. I am curious, how old are the two of you?

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OK, what he is asking you to do is impossible. You cannot control his emotions, thoughts, feelings and attachments towards his "first love". There isn't a magic potion to create "first love amnesia". Time is the true answer here, the more time you both spend together in a selfless relationship where neither one of you ask such ridiculous things of each other will put you on the right road. I hate to say this but most of us will always carry a very special love in the corner of our hearts for our first loves. He is basically saying, "if you really love me, you can make me love you more than I loved my first love, if you can't, you must not love me".


Sorry but he needs a shrink, not a GF. I wish we could give you an answer but you are asking us for something that does not exist. I had a client once whose husband told her that if she didn't get a tattoo with his name on it accross her entire lower back, he was going to leave her because that meant that she didn't really love him. Branding is OK for cattle but that is pushing it.





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ya no offense....i know you're not getting what you want to hear, but this is the truth and its good you're getting it somewhere.


it sounds to me like you are his rebound...that heknows how crazy you are about him so in order to fill up his void from his last girlfriend, he's putting you in there, as his pet monkey. Making you do all sorts of tricks to try and make him feel better. I don't know if he is getting a power drive from it or what.


It's almost like he's turning you into some kind of passtime for amusement, like he gets an ego trip watching you bend yourself backwards trying to please him. It's almost sick. It worries me how obsessed you are with this guy, you seem rather infatuated than in love.


You clearly told us all the things he says to you, which have sounded awful to every single one of us, but you can't see it. You just see you're infatuation for him and how you can't let him go regardless of how he treats you.


He needs help, he shouldn't be allowed to date anyone for a while until he gets himself straight.

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wat im sure of is that he's not using me.. he made everythin clear from the beginning and i accepted that nd rold him i'll help... we dnt wanna stay away from eachother and we both want things to work out.. i dnt have a problem with what he says, becoz he's hurt and i wanna help...plz try to understand what im goin through.. ya maybe i do get hurt from what he says sometimes, but as long as i know its making him feel better, i wont have a prob with it.. and he knows im there for him whenever he needs to talk to someone, because i told him that.. i told him to do all those things to tell me abt her and to trust me with it...all we want is him moving on...

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i know this is random but, i think i might be in an abusive relationship but i dont want to leave this girl because I love her plus we just went through loosing our first child to a miscarriage, when we get into an argument she calls me names and screams at me as well as shoves me and some times hits me. shes only hit me 3 times in the whole relationship cause weve been together for 11 months, what should i do? she rubbs it in when i make a mistake but i always forgive her should i stop? well today @ school well actually right now im in school and because i talked to some guy she searched my pockets and embarrassed me in the hallway, im not aloud to talk to girls but she talks to boys after i tell her no and she always promises to change should i believe her? PLZ some one plz help me!

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if that was true you wouldnt be here, dont you think?



im here because i thought that i might find someone that would understand me in this world.. my friends couldnt even the close ones... i thought i would find a solution here, thats why i decided to ask for help and tell u how i feel and whats goin on with me and him...

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