Is it wrong to be happy about being pregnant when your only a teenager?

[Young1]

 

I was wondering i'm not married and i dont have a boyfriend anymore... Is it wrong to be happy to be pregnant when your only a teenager. I'm so excited but i think i should be disappointed with myself for putting myself in this situation. Everyone tells me it was wrong to have sex without being married and a sin and yes i know it was a sin But i'm happy and noone realizes the whole story why i'm so happy! Should i just grin and bare it to what there telling me or should i just waste my breathe and tell them why i'm so happy? Please reply someone

[the yang to the worlds yin]

how old are you?

[Young1]

I'm 15 years old. How old are you?

[DN]

Of course it is not wrong to be happy - I am firmly of the belief that happy mothers are more likely to have happier babies.

 

But you should be concerned - how are you going to look after the baby? Is the father going to be a part of the baby's life - emotionally as well as financially? What are your support systems? All these are things that you should be concerned about and you and the baby will need all the help you can get.

 

But happiness about a baby is natural and right.

[sweeter]

What is the whole story of why you are so happy to be pregnant?

[the yang to the worlds yin]

being happy about a baby is one thing, but being able to take care of and be responsible about one is another. perhaps this girl has yet to differentiate

[Young1]

The reason why im so happy is that before I knew i was pregnant i was told I would not be able to have a baby by a doctor. I was crushed ... I knew i wanted a baby just not now and with my bestfriend, my boyfriend, Justin. since i knew i couldnt have a baby I decided to have sex. After the third time i found out I was pregnant. I was so excited to tell Justin and my friend that had known I could not have a baby. When i called some of my friends they acted hateful and didnt approve of it so hoping to excite one person I called Justin. When I called his cellphone a girl answered... It was his ex. and I knew then that he would not care but I told him anyway. He said he would help in anyway but didnt want me as a girlfriend anymore. Then I told my mom and she was dissappointed in me but said she would help in anyway. She then told her friends that told their friends and so on and so forth. Whispers were going around and then I was the school * * * *. (Like noone in high school has ever gotten pregnant.) I dropped out in Early October to start home schooling by my Aunt. People asked me why i was so happy and I should be ashamed and have an abortion or give her up for adoption. The preacher in front of the whole church asked for everyone give me a silent prayer.(I wonder what for..UMM...Let me guess...) I'm just now having doubts about keeping my baby or putting her up for adoption but, why ask a question you already know the answer to. But anyway im sorry for it being so long. But this is my story.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

honey, this isn't a blessing. it's great you can have children. but now is not the time nor age too

[Relationship Coach]

Young1,

The decisions you made were adult decisions with adult consequences. I'm not sure as to what your physician was basing his diagnosis on but he was clearly wrong. Safe sex is not just about birth control, STD's is a great reason to justify condoms at any age.

 

People are going to have their thoughts and opinions on your situation and you can't change that. As for your mom, it would be natural for her to be disappointed initially but the fact that she is supportive is good. The costs associated with providing quality pre-natal and post natal care are expensive. I hope you are covered by your mom's insurance but even if you are the baby is only covered for the first 30 days on that policy in most cases. There are state funded organizations like WIC that you can seek assistance from too.

 

Now, let's talk about adoption. There are many qualified couples out there willing to provide everything your child needs but it's you I am concerned about. Giving up your daughter is a tough thing to do. It may be best financially if you cannot afford to raise her but emotionally you will wonder everyday about her. Please give this some thought.

 

Stay happy and healthy for your babies sake and again, don't allow others comments and judgements define who you are. It takes a big person to deal with what you are going through and many would consider an abortion, another life long emotional regret. Keep your head up and prepare yourself for motherhood. There are great resources on the net, educate yourself. Best Wishes.

[1love2k5]

hon, aren't you a bit young to be thinking about having kids? then again, it's alright with you because BOTH of you guys messed up and now there's consequences behind that. taking the baby to the doctor when he/she gets sick; getting your boyfriend (or whoever) to get a job so he can support the baby, etc. i mean, you can't support a baby WITHOUT a job. everyone knows that. you just gotta remember the mistakes you guys made will/can come back to haunt you. taking care of a baby ISN'T easy. you have to take it everywhere you go. i mean EVERYWHERE. i've been around kids and babies all my entire life, and people still to this day try to rely on me to try to take care of their child/children. i mean, it's great to have kids, but you hon has to deal with tons of responsibilities for your actions. you have more responsibilites than the man you slept with. just be careful, and if i were you, i'd go back to school, have your boyfriend or whoever get a job so that he can support you and the baby, and/or have a family member or friend or other person you can trust watch your child while you get a job, (if you don't have one) then pay the person for watching your child. good luck and be careful next time.

[darkblue]

Yes, of course, you are allowed to be happy.

It is a very happy time in a mother's life.

 

But how are you going to financially cope?

What about school, and your future?

[Young1]

I know all of this i have supporrt: family and money wise. I just found out last Friday it was a girl. Justin(the cheating ex boyfriend) knows but as of Sunday doesnt care. WE have MONEy so I dont have to worry I'm getting homeschooled and looking for a job. I know it's a big responsability and I'm young I can do it. I can... I'm strong enough to make the decision to have sex, so im strong enough to have and take care of the baby. Thanks for every one leaving me comments they have helped millions for me ! Thank you so much I'll be on whenever I can. Just keep leaving them and I will answer...

Thanks again for caring.!

[amylyn930]

I think that it takes a lot to say what you just said and to accept full responsibility! By saying that it shows that you are more ready for this child then some people who are 40 and have kids! As long as you are willing to give it a loving and secure environment and to love it then why not? Yes it is going to be hard.. but everything in life is.. and it was obviosuly meant to happen and this child will teach you so much about life, and about yourself. And I think that it is a blessing that you will be able to experience this and know about this when so many other people don't. Once she is born you won't be able to picture your life without her.. so don't let what other people tell you... just love her and be happy.. because there is nothing you can do stop her from coming now.. and it's better to be happy and okay with it then to let her come into the world hated! Good Luck to ya!

[truthbetold]

I have a friend who had a baby when she was 15. He is turning 4 this year. She would not give him up for adoption and she had the spirit that I can sense from what you've written. She loves her child more than anything and even though she dropped out of school she has a good job and an apartment, and also a caring family to help her care for the child.

 

I think if you really want this child as much as you say you do you will be just fine. Good luck!

[Strandysmommy]

Justin(the cheating ex boyfriend) knows but as of Sunday doesnt care.

 

I'm strong enough to make the decision to have sex, so im strong enough to have and take care of the baby.

 

The first statement scares me, because I get the image of some goofball kid proclaiming "It's not mine!" and running for it. It's too bad you found out he's a cheater after you found out you were pregnant. I really hope he holds up his end of things. Don't let him get away with being a deadbeat dad at this young age.

 

The second statement makes me think of you as more mature than any 15 year old I know (and I know a few!). The fact that you understand and accept that if you juggle knives you risk getting a big ol' cut is great. I'm proud of you for realizing it. The people at your school who call you a bad name are jerks. I'm sure if they were walking in your shoes (which will be some mighty big shoes) they'd be whimpering.

 

Take care of yourself and your baby...at this point, being so young you're LITERALLY eating for 2 because you're not fully done growing yet- you prolly have a few inches of height to go, and some internal organs and horemones aren't fully developed. So...pig out! (Ok, within reason...just thought I'd add that little fact in there...FOLIC ACID, CALCUIM, IRON!) :splat:

 

Good luck, take care.

 

PS: yes it's ok to be happy.

[ShySoul]

It is ok to be happy. You are having a child, which is always a great thing. And when you were told you weren't going to be able to, its somewhat of a miracle. So go ahead and be happy about it. You are not a sinner, you shouldn't be getting an abortion. You are taking part in one of life's greatest joys, perhaps the greatest joy.

 

However, it will be a long and hard road ahead. Sometimes you will wonder why you let this happen and you will feel tired. You will have more responsibilities then a lot of people twice your age. You will have to sacrifice a lot of things and part of your youth. I know you already know this, but I just want to make sure you fully know what you are getting yourself into. It won't always be easy. But that child will make the struggles worth it.

[Derge]

Two of my friends have had a child with each ither both the same age as me (accident). They were using precaustions and it was legal but something went wrong obviously. He adored that child and I have seen it a few time's there families are looking after it when there in school and other than looking abit tired there doing ok. It was a silly thing to do but alot of good came of it and he is a better person in my eyes for it. He is much kinder and sincere person for it and is even picking out an engagement ring.

[Young1]

Yes, It's going to be harder than anything I've ever done. I've got baby experiance and know how to take care of one. My daughter and I will argue, laugh, cry, and play games together. I will do all I can to make sure she is happy, safe, and healthy; has clean clothes to wear, a warm and loving environment to be raised in, a warm bed to sleep in, a warm meal to eat when she is hungry (unless ice cream or something) and a loving caring mom that would die for her for anything.

 

They say the love of a mother and daughter never dies and I want to make sure it doesn't. I have book to refer to when I'm questioning something about her. I have a loving mother and family behind me all the way. Like I said before I'm strong and I have to keep on living no matter the obsticales.

 

Someone once told me "No matter how many times you fall you can always get right back up." I believe it with all my heart.

 

Thanks!

[Serendipity1607307077]

It is better to be a welcoming parent and enjoying your time as a parent than having an unwanted child.

 

A child should always feel loved and protected by their parent! It seems like you have desire to maintain this.

 

In the end it's your decision, and if you are happy then it's no one elses business but your own. Just make sure you you are the best parent you can be!

 

Babies aren't easy to look after, but at the same time they can be a joy. I can't wait till I have babies..

[Young1]

Thanks again for all the Help.... You have really made me feel better Just keep writing me on anyother threads I may have posted in the future! Thanks!

[Young1]

also please keep sending me messages! And i'll keep u updated on the pregnancy!

Thanks

[ShySoul]

Young, emotionally you sound more ready for this baby then a lot of people much older then you. You sound like you are going to be a very loving and caring mother who knows that there will be good times and bad times, but who is committed to seeing it through. I think that baby is going to be very lucky to have you as a mom.

 

Keep us posted. We are cheering for you.

[havefaith]

Wow.

 

Really, that's all I can say!! I definitely admire you, Young1, I think your bravery is incredible. I'm 18 years old, about to graduate and I happen to be in the middle of a pregnancy scare. I have been FREAKING out wondering if there is any way, praying there isn't. Here you are, accepting the responsibility, which seems like more than what I could do...

 

I guess the only question I have for you is, where the heck did you pick up that courage, girl?!

[Young1]

WEll I think this courage comes from early life experiences and my mom and brother (who is in the air force). Faith, believe me its so hard to except the responsability but I am. FOr you what ever pregnancy scare your going through... Remember deep down you have just as much courage as I do. Thanks for the reply and Congratulation on going to Graduate this year! I hope once I have this little girl I can get back in public school and graduate and go to college to become a Veternarian. Thanks

Reply Back Please!

[Young1]

My next check up is this tuesday and I will find out 100% percent sure if it's a girl (they're already 80% sure) But i'll also find out a more exact due date It some time during Late May- Early June last time but maybe a more precise day. But i'll let you all know what I find out and how She is doing.!

Thanks!