First Time Around The Block

[NeverToHaveLovedAtAll]

Good evening. I have been having some mixed emotions lately about sex. To give you a bit of background on myself, I am 19 years old, a male, and I am a virgin. During my whole life I have had the idea that I would only have sex when I was truly in love. And I believe that that time has arrived. I am not trying to talk this to death or anything, I just want to be smart about all this going into it. Now, she is has had one sexual relationship; and I have had none. I know that does not make for a problem, so I am not worried. I guess my question to the world is, how do Iprepare myself for something like this? I know about contraception and that is the least of my concerns. I am smart guy, so I will act responsibly about this. I guess I just want to know what I should know turning this into a sexual relationship? Also, to clarify a matter, we have both already discussed that we are ready for such a step forward. Any thoughts or inisight would be much appreciated.

 

Happy Holidays and thanks for your time.

[antigravity]

Just wear a condom, and enjoy yourself!

 

You might find the first time a little disapointing for many reasons... A lot of guys (including myself!) are pretty disapointed with their performance. For me, well lets just say I didn't last too long.

 

But you'll get over that with time. Just relax, enjoy the company of your partner, and appreciate the trust you both have in each other by going that next step.

 

Try and have an open mind about it all. You can have some really great fun if you keep an open mind.

 

Good luck mate.

[melrich]

Well it sounds like you guys are taking a very responsible approach. I think now that you each have a good understanding of what you want, you need to romance things up a bit. Try and find an occasion when you have plenty of time together and plenty of privacy and you can explore the sexual experience in your own time.

 

Turning a relatiosnhip into a sexual relationship is a very natural thing. You will find when you get the time and place right it will all happen seamlessly, you won't suddenly think "Now I'm in a sexual relationship, everything is going to be different" it is a much gentler process than that.

 

No question it takes the realtionship to another level as it really is the ultimate intimacy but from what you have posted I think you will both cope with that really well and you seem to have a very good foundation in place.

 

I don't know if that helped or not?

[NeverToHaveLovedAtAll]

I will kind of throw this in because it is part of what defines me. I have been called a "gentlemen's gentlemen" many times before. At a certain point, I came to believe that that was true. So, with that said, I want this to be a great experience for her. Anything that would help, i.e. - a certain kind of condom (i hate having to many choices...they market more kinds to confuse you more!), etc etc.

[smallworld]

Hi Never, why the sad face? This should be a happy occasion for the two of you. Well I can only tell you what I know worked for me and that was to take things slowly and to enjoy just being with each other. Don't worry about doing the "deed." Just hold each other, kiss, caress, lick, touch, and savor every moment. As a dear friend once told me, it's all about the journey, not the destination. So take the scenic route!

 

Making love is an amazing experience and intercourse is just one small moment in a continuum of intimacy. When the time is right, you'll just know. You'll see it in her eyes and you'll both feel ready. Until then keep talking to and holding one another... Good luck!

[antigravity]

a certain kind of condom (i hate having to many choices...they market more kinds to confuse you more!), etc etc.

 

Just pick any condom, at the end of the day they all do the same thing.

 

I wouldn't worry so much about ribbed, or studded. I've never known a girl to feel the difference.

 

Glow in the dark ones are quite cool and fun though! Grab some of those, it might make the whole experience more casual.

 

Have fun.

[smallworld]

Just pick any condom, at the end of the day they all do the same thing.

 

I agree. Making it pleasurable for her is more about what you do with those condoms vs. "special effects." If you want to make the night special for her, focus on her. The most amazing night I ever had with a man never even involved intercourse. It was just the way he touched me, the look in his eyes, and the way he took his time with me savoring every inch of my body. Lots of intimate talk and telling her how much you love all of her would do so much more to make the night special vs. a specific type of condom or technique.

[antigravity]

The most amazing night I ever had with a man never even involved intercourse. It was just the way he touched me, the look in his eyes, and the way he took his time with me savoring every inch of my body. Lots of intimate talk and telling her how much you love all of her would do so much more to make the night special vs. a specific type of condom or technique.

 

I agree!

 

Enjoy her body.. Enjoy the trust she puts in you. Run your fingertips all over her body, and look into her eyes. Soft gentle kisses work wonders too, especially on the back of her neck or around her ears. Blowing soft cold air onto these areas are good too, and on her nipples.

 

Whatever you do, don't just go straight for her breasts or downstairs... Slowly narrow your way to those areas, but do it very slowly, and tease her as much as you can... Work your way there, then go back to where you started... Drive her crazy. Then go for it.

 

Make sure she knows how much you enjoy her body, and enjoy sharing the moment with her.

 

Boohoo... now I want a girlfriend Hahahah!

[ShySoul]

Smallworld and antigravity are right. The actual intercourse is just the finishing touch, the final stroke on the masterpiece of an experience you are creating together. It is everything else that makes the experience truly memorable.

 

First, relax. Try to be calm. Don't think about what to do or how to do it. Don't think rather it will be good or not. Put your mind in suspension and focus on your feelings. Focus on the love you have for one another. When you do, you will be more comfortable and able to enjoy. You'll go on automatic and things will flow naturally.

 

You don't need a guide and in the heat of the moment will probably not be thinking of much other then what you are doing at the time, but if you want some suggestions, here you go. Take your time. Start with kissing. Don't even go for the lips. Run your hand along her cheek, kiss her cheek, her forhead, and all over the face. Then go for a passionate kiss on the lips. Carress each other's bodies. Slowly undress each other. Savor each moment as it passes. Kiss your way down to her breasts. Spend lots of time there, it is very pleasurable to a women (and to the man). Fondle, squeeze, kiss, caress, lick, and suck them. Run your tongue along them, flicker it against the nipple repearedly.

 

Kiss your way down to the vagina. Don't rush into it, take it slow. Stimulate her manually or orally. You'll both be roaring to go, but making the foreplay last increases the intensity. When you actually get to intercourse, tease her right before inserting. Enjoy each tingle, each sensation. Take it slow and enjoy.

 

Also, communicate with one another. Lots of sweet words, saying you love each other, loving gazes at one another. It's the love you share that will make it wonderful.

 

Hmm.... and this from a 22 year old virgin. Who says us virgins don't know what we are doing?

 

PS. Never, now you are going to have to change your name. You won't be able to say you are never to have loved at all. Smile!

[hardcharger]

You're ready, and after the first time, you might be "lovin" like a rabbit every day or many times a week at your age. Hope it all works out for you. Lovemaking is the best thing going, IF you have the right partner.