Dogg Posted December 22, 2005 Author Share Posted December 22, 2005 I don't think thatwhat I responded to her was bitter. again, I just layed it on the line. I want hre to know how I feel and that I just can't do this to myslef anymore, I poured my heart out to her, I wanted her to know how special she is and was to me. I also just wante to make it clear that if this is the way that she wants it to be, that I will respoect that and "let her go" I do not think that this was a bad thing...anyway, whats done is done... Link to comment
Dogg Posted December 22, 2005 Author Share Posted December 22, 2005 I was just talking to a friend of mine who has just been dumped by his girl and is really hurting. I recommmended this site to him and I began telling him about all of the wonderful people who are always willing to listen and give their dvice and share their experiences. as I wa doign this, I started to realize just how truly special this site and the people that comprise it are. everyone of you out there is a true saint, I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Link to comment
moondog627 Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 Yeah but you're treading into the "psycho ex" territory now. Be a real dog and walk away with your head up high instead of begging for scraps. Someone once said on this forum to the effect of, "...our true character comes out not in times of bliss but when our heart and mind is put to the test." Time to step up. Link to comment
Dogg Posted December 22, 2005 Author Share Posted December 22, 2005 how am I being a psycho? I didn't think that i was or am. I wrote what I wrote in order to finally let her know that I willno longer be wearing my heart on my sleeve for her anymore, we were together for three years and I deserve better than the email that she sent me, it is that thought and the realizations that she obviously does not share in my feelings that is making it closure for me, and knowing now that it is tme to finally give up on her. I do not see that as pscho, I see that as finally enlightened! Link to comment
moondog627 Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 Acting psycho is when you CAN'T LET THINGS GO. And why does she need to hear that stuff from you? Words don't mean sh*t. SHOW HER BY NOT CONTACTING HER, BY MOVING ON. You may not see this as acting psycho, but I bet she's sick of you contacting her. Link to comment
AC874 Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 How long is the psycho stage defined as? I mean, cmon now. People after a long relantionship, love often makes you do and say crazy things... pining after an ex for a month after the end is kinda normal. Link to comment
Dogg Posted December 22, 2005 Author Share Posted December 22, 2005 two emails in three days and before that nothing asside from a bday card in about a month! if she is sick of me contacting her, then truly F*CK HER!!! maybe your right, maybe not, but I respoect your opinion. like I said, this is my closure, this is my letting go, this is the end, this is my moving on, I took one last shot at just trying to make her see how I feel about her anbd abot us, and that I love her and cherish her and always will but thats it. nothing more, it is on her now. I have done all that i can do, which in essense is everything and nothing. she wants me gone, gone I will be. this si the D-O-G-G signing off! peace...and I think now she will truly get that! Link to comment
moondog627 Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 There is no time line to it. She doesn't want to be with you PERIOD. So why would she want to continually hear from you as well. Contacting can only do more harm than good. It's common sense. Of course pining for an ex is normal. That doesn't mean you should be bothering her. The key is to be a man and live with the pain. It will eventually go away. But all this wondering when to contact, how to contact only creates more problems for you and does ZERO GOOD for the ex. The best move you could possibly make is getting on with your life. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 Dogg, How did you do my friend? You ok out there? -Your Friend, SuperDave71 Link to comment
Dogg Posted December 22, 2005 Author Share Posted December 22, 2005 read my other posts man, I have been seeing naother girl for over a week now. I got a little mushy and somewhat sentimental due to my "anniversary" that is when I sent her the email to begin with. nothgin more, I am moving on and again, I'll say that doing this has provided me with the much needed closure that I did not have before for whatever reason be it my own dreaming or whetever. Link to comment
Dogg Posted December 22, 2005 Author Share Posted December 22, 2005 dave that last post was in no way directed at you! Link to comment
moondog627 Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 And one more thing, Dogg I understand your need to get things off your chest. One month after my breakup I sent my ex an email. I didn't plead to get her back just took responsibility for things that went sour and thanked her for all the memories. Her response was...NOTHING. No email, nada. But I didn't send a single thing thereafter. I said what I had to say and she knew how I felt. Sure I was pissed and wanted to rip into her, but what good would that have done? Now's the time for you to heal. Link to comment
moondog627 Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 read my other posts man, I have been seeing naother girl for over a week now. I got a little mushy and somewhat sentimental due to my "anniversary" that is when I sent her the email to begin with. nothgin more, I am moving on and again, I'll say that doing this has provided me with the much needed closure that I did not have before for whatever reason be it my own dreaming or whetever. That's fine. Move on then. The follow up email was NO GOOD. That is why I said if you continue this behavior you could be seen as a psycho. Link to comment
Dogg Posted December 23, 2005 Author Share Posted December 23, 2005 I have yet to receive a response from the ex after I sent the second email. I am not anticipating one, I am calling it a lost cause. I am going to focus my energy on having fun with family and friends this holiday season, as well as seeing where things with this new girl can go. This is the Ex's loss, seh will not find someone who is as loving and caring and willing to drop everything just to love her and take care of her. She is missing out, I am moving on! Happy Holidays! Link to comment
healinginnyc81 Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Good for you, Dogg, I am really glad to hear you say that because I need to do the same for myself. Keep moving on. We're all happy for you. Enjoy the holidays. Link to comment
kellbell Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Hey Dogg! I just read all of your thread and it's understandable why you are feeling the way you are. There are going to be times when you are going to miss your ex, for whatever reason, you will. Feelings and emotions have a way of sneaking up on us, we can't control them but we can control is how we REACT to them. Just know that what you are feeling right now is completely normal. You guys were together for 3 years, that is a significant time to be together and you are not going to get over her just like that. After me and my first boyfriend broke up, there were times like a year afterwards, I would start to miss him because we shared so much, our relationship was very geniune. But did I call him or email him? No. I just chalked it up as a moment in time, when the stars were lined up right that I missed him. And it passed and it will for you. You are not being fair to yourself, you are not giving yourself a break and heal. I know, if I were to get those emails you wrote to your ex, it will only confirm that I did the right thing even more. So in saying that, you just pushed her away. I would really refrain from sending any more emails to her. She knows how you feel, so there is no need to. Dogg, you need to heal, to grieve, to reflect and think about what you have learned throughout this whole ordeal. Write it down if it helps. Re-define your boundries because I am sure you are not the same person you were before you met her, time to set up new rules for yourself. Boundries keep us from getting hurt. I know it sounds twisted, but experiencing pain makes us change, makes us grow, hopefully for the better. Figure out what you can take with you from this whole experience. I think you may want to re-consider dating for now. I would really turn to your friends and family right now. Let them do the thinking for you a little, let them be your intution for awhile, you are filled with emotion and feeling which can cloud your judgement. Let them guide you a bit, that's what they are there for. I am sure you would do the same thing for them. So in saying all that, I truly hope you feel better soon. I also wish you a very happy and safe holiday season. Take care my friend. Link to comment
Dogg Posted December 23, 2005 Author Share Posted December 23, 2005 kellbell, there is no doubt in my mind that you fully deserved the "member recognition award," you ahave a very special and caring way of responding and trying to help poeple like me to cope and move past our issues. thankyou. anyway I just have one thing to say in return to what you wrote to me, that bing that I do not think that by writing her an email and then responding to her cold detatched response has pushed her away. If anything I think that she has pushed me away. If she wanted to be chased and wanted to know that i was still going to be holding on to her memory and waiting, she is wrong. I wrote what I wrote the first time to tell her how I feel once and for all. When I responded to what she wrote back, I just wanted to make it clear that I did and do care about her but that I could and would not continue on lie this, letting her dictate my moods and control my thoughts and emotions. I really htought that we had somehting special that would last forever, I guess that I was wrong, but again, I will say that it is her loss and time will be the thing that shows that to her. I am done trying, done pouring my heart out to her. If she ever wants any kind of relationship with me, she will need to try excedingly hard at that for I am worth more than this! happy holidays! Link to comment
kellbell Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Thank you so much Dogg for your kind words. It almost brought tears to my eyes because I too, am struggling a bit with a few things. That really made my day. Hugs. Ok, I totally understand your logic in doing what you did. It took a lot of guts to do what you did, it left you stripped and vulerable...two things of which can make us squirm. I commend you for that. I, personally would have written the letters then put them away. But that's just me. I liked what you wrote that her actions or lack there of I should say, has in fact, pushed you away. Good, it's a great start and you always have to start somewhere. You are right, you are worth more. definitely, right there, you have set your first boundry. Now the thing is, you have to stick to it. I know you can. I truly hope you feel better and hang in there, depsite some of your setbacks (which is totally ok, you're human) you have been a real trooper. Take care. Hugs. Link to comment
bsp_kjm Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 kellbell, there is no doubt in my mind that you fully deserved the "member recognition award," you ahave a very special and caring way of responding and trying to help poeple like me to cope and move past our issues. totally agree! keep strong Dogg! Link to comment
Dogg Posted December 23, 2005 Author Share Posted December 23, 2005 thnx again kellbell! you are truly a sweetheart, who I'm sure also deserves much better than the agony you too are suffering. Why do such gret people get caught up in such bullsh*t all the time? Maybe we should date each other ha ha ha! again I thank you from the bottom of my healing heart (before I would have said broken, but its not anymore, I'm pulling myslef back and becoming the true "DOGG" that I was once!!!!!) Link to comment
Dogg Posted December 23, 2005 Author Share Posted December 23, 2005 WE DON"T LOVE THESE HOES, I'M OUT THE DOOR!!!!! - Snoop Dogg Link to comment
kellbell Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 I know Dogg...it really frosts my cookies when I see good people hurt and suffer...but unfortunately it happens and it fortunately there enough good people aroudn who are willing to help and listen. Thanks again for your kind words...one day at a time for me. Link to comment
healinginnyc81 Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 I'd like to say I hate to see anyone get hurt, but at the same time I can't help but keep wishing that my ex would go through what I'm going through. Although I don't really want that to happen, sometimes I just want revenge. But then I also think that maybe she will start dating other guys and see that she doesn't have as much of a connection with them; I mean we had such similar views on life and similar interests, hopes and dreams and even our childhood experiences were extremely similar that I can't see how anyone else could replace me for her (or how anyone could replace her). And the sex was great too. Congrats to all of you who have learned to let go and stop being concerned with the ex's. Link to comment
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