is it just me or are guys my age usually immature?

[catgirl82]

i would just like to vent a little....

ok, so ive been having a hard time lately dealing with the fact that i am single. i dont want to get married any time soon but i'd like to meet a nice boy who is interested in more than dating for like a month and then bailing out.

 

other than the whole guy situation, i am so happy with my life- great family, great friends, im headed towards a very rewarding career, my health is good, i am happy with my appearances, my personality, i am a people person.

 

so why is it that the one thing we cant have bothers us so much? i think its b/c i cant control my love life the way i can control everything else in my life.

 

i know i sound really whiny and complainy right now, but its been bringing me down since my last dating failure. (read previous posts if youre interested).

 

my question is, is it that guys my age are not as interested in dating? i am in my early 20s and ive found that with me and alot of my single friends, we've had terrible luck with guys in the 22-25 age range.

 

my personal experience is that guys that age fall fast for a girl and then freak out and cant handle it. i know its a generalization b/c i know lots of guys that age that are serious committed boyfriends. is it something about that age that makes guys scared b/c they start thinking about marriage??

 

just curious? im hoping there is not something seirously wrong with me that makes boys not want to date me

[lovecrazy]

It is true what they say " Women mature faster than men"

 

Most guys around the age of 20-24 have no clue what they need or want.

 

Some actually do the serious relationship things, and are still very immature.

 

Its hard to find guys at those ages who make great money, handle their own, and want marriage.

 

But not all guys arouns that age are hopeless.

[PocoDiablo]

It is true what they say " Women mature faster than men"

That's not in the least bit true. In fact, men never mature. Haven't you heard this joke?

 

What's the difference between savings bonds and men? Bonds mature.

 

Ok, kidding aside, guys who are in their twenties are pretty clueless in my opinion. I know I was, and I know most guys that age were and still are. It's just the way it goes.

 

The solution is to either date older men, wait until you are older and then date men who are now the same age as you (but older anyway), or raise your standards and find the best man you can. In my opinion, I think that only 1 of 20 men are quality, so you'll have to date around.

 

By the way, I personally find that older women are often bitter and unhappy. So my solution was to date a younger woman. When I was 34 I started dating my fiance who was 21 at the time. Funny thing was that she thought I was 28 and I thought she was 25. It's been great, though, as age really means nothing.

 

Happy hunting!

[mtastic]

Hi Catgirl82,

 

As I guy in his early 20s, I will say this: yes, most of us are clueless and immature. Thats not to say some of us aren't looking for long term relationships, and I'm sure there are more guys than just myself who are trying to grow as people to get beyond immaturity, but it does seem like most people are age really don't care. To be fair however, I think this applies to alot of girls as well, I've seen too many who act immature and just get off on having this "wild child" image of themselvs as much as the guys I know. Its all about just finding likeminded people to hang out with. Easier said than done i know, if only there were some magical place where all these people hung out, we wouldn't be here complaing about our dating misadventures.

 

I hope that helped, just trying to let you know there are guys out there who feel just the same way about girls as you do about us.

 

mtastic

[Dre_7]

Alot of guys that age are usually still very immature. I don't even think maturity is a function of age, because some guys even in their thirties never really grow up. And alot of girls in the same demographic are also quite immature as well. It really depends on the person, there's no point in idealizing an older person, because you might date them and end up just as disappointed.

What's important is to find someone with a good head on their shoulders, as opposed to someone younger or older. Maturity can be found in people of any age, but since its such a valued commodity, sometimes it takes patience and a lot of searching. When people know what they want from life and who they are, the become alot more secure and mature.

[uninhibited]

I would tend to agree with what has been said. I find this topic very interesting. Maturity is most certainly not a function of age, but rather, personal circumstance.

 

I consider myself to be mature in my though processes and what I know to be important in life, however, I am still very much in the dark about what kind of person I am and what I want to do with my life.](*,) A co-worker of mine, the same age as me, is engaged and knows exactly what he wants to do in the years ahead.

 

The point is, there are so many different types of people out there, that I think you need to just be patient and keep looking. The person you're looking for is out there somewhere, it just takes some work. Try to nestle your way into a social scene that you think has the maturity level you're looking for.

[atraceofblood]

I think it depends numerous factors. Where you live, where you are looking for or meeting guys, what type of guys you are attracted to, etc.

 

I think there are plenty of guys my age (early 20's) that are mature, and like everyone else keeps saying, you just have to keep trying.

[catgirl82]

i dont even know if maturity is the issue. im not sure if maturity means a guy wants to be in a relationship, and i dont know if immaturity means a guy doesnt want to be in a relationship!!

 

i think ive just had a string of bad luck!! i meet guys that i think are great and the relationship type, and then for some reason they change their minds. maybe its me, but i sure hope not!!

[atraceofblood]

i dont even know if maturity is the issue. im not sure if maturity means a guy wants to be in a relationship, and i dont know if immaturity means a guy doesnt want to be in a relationship!!

 

i think ive just had a string of bad luck!! i meet guys that i think are great and the relationship type, and then for some reason they change their minds. maybe its me, but i sure hope not!!

 

if there's anything I can say, it's to never give up.

[DN]

I don't think that waiting until you are ready to be in a committed relationship is immature, in fact the opposite is true. I certainly believe that wanting to be in a relationship for it's own sake, or because other people are, is immature.

 

There is nothing wrong with preferring to be uncommitted - it is neither mature or immature. Knowing what is good for you at a particular time is one of the signs of an adult.

[Lion-Guy]

I know a lot of my guy friends who are still fairly immature.

 

But not all guys my age are like this. I can honestly say that I do know what I want. I am still in school, but I am on track to a very good professional career. I am financially stable and live in a nice place. I have had a long term relationship and it ended because the women I was with was not maturing along with me. She still wanted to party hard, stay out late, work little and didn't have any career goals. I don't think it is an issue of gender, there are women too that don't know what they want and how to handle serious relationships. Good luck in your quest for a mature young man.

[ShySoul]

Most men are immature and have no clue what they want, regardless of age and even when they are in a serious relationship. It is a curse that women have to carry, being the smarter sex. Sorry for that girls.

 

But there are a few of us out there who are mature and who know what we want. Have faith, we are out there and when you find us, you will be treated right.