feeling drained, empty and alone

[Max1]

I have recently broken up with a guy who I loved so much that I would have done anything for. We had just gotten a house together and things ended very badly a week after my birthday. On my birthday he decided to tell me that he had been speaking to his ex again. I guess I would have been more understanding if he wasnt being so strange about it. He had been hiding it from me for a month. She had come between us before so I don't trust the two of them. I could tell something was off even before he had told me that because he would never randomly kiss me, stopped calling me "sweety" and when we would be intimate it felt as if I was with a stranger. I tried so hard and of course it brought me down. I did not want to lose him. We had a home, a family, everything I wanted and needed. He was my love and my best friend. He ended up telling me that the reason we had to end was becasue I was too unstable. I would come home from work upset and I wasn't very happy anymore. I do suffer form depression and was trying to find a doctor I could afford so that I wasn't putting this all on him. It hurt so bad to hear him say that because I sat through so much with him. I have lost everything and have no idea what to do. I have done as much crying as I could. I just feel bitter and lost now. I have no home and I have to try to find an appartment that will accept my 70lb dog. I have to get a second job and put off school. I have no one to talk to because all of our friends were mutual and now they don't speak to me. I don't know what to do with myself. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I want him back so badly. I want my life back. And five seconds later I hate him for what he has done. I'm not putting all of the blame on him but he has broken my heart and currently my world. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else has ever gone through something like this and how they dealt with it. Thanks for letting me vent!

[TiredMan]

How long were you two together? And how old are both of you?

[Lil Punkin]

Hey Max....I am sorry to hear you're going through this.

Your ex is telling you the reason he had to end this because you were "too unstable"?? Oh but the fact he's talking to his ex has NOTHING to do with it huh?? Sweetie I am sorry but that's just wrong. He's trying to justify HIS behavior by blaming you. Please don't let him manipulate you into thinking this breakup is YOUR fault.....it takes TWO people to make OR break a relationship.

 

Has he taken ANY accountability for anything that went wrong in the relationship?

 

I know it's tough, but hang in there.....this forum is a good place to vent, so keep posting if you need to.

[Max1]

I am 22 yrs old and he is 26. We had been together for a year. I understand that it takes two. I try to tell myself that everyday. He hasn't taken any accountability for anything. He thinks there is nothing wrong with anything he does. He says that he values friendships more than anything and now he wants to be friends with his ex. I find that strange. He never got rid of anything from her but the other day when I went to get some of my stuff everything I had ever given him was in the trash. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and never have returned his call when I received a message from him a year and a half ago. I know I can't do that but this whole situation hurts so badly. I gave myself to someone who trashed my heart. The timing of the year isn't great either because Christmas and New Years are coming up. I refuse to even attempt to celebrate because I have no idea who i would celebrate with. Thank you so much for listening it means so much even though I don't know all of you!

[annie24]

Hey Max. ((((BIG HUG)))) I am so sorry to hear about this all. And during the holidays, it's a rough time of year. Maybe you can find a place to volunteer during the holidays, or go spend some time with your family. It will make things a bit less rough.

 

It will be ok. You are still young. You'll get your schooling in order, and you'll find a new place for you and your dog, and you'll meet someone else who will love you and "not trash your heart."

 

Take care!