Dating younger than me

[hoboken12]

I need some advice. I am a major late bloomer. I am 28 yrs old and didn't date at all in high school because of a bad situation in my family. I dated some in college and now I am realizing that I missed out on a lot. It seems that most of the girls I meet now are getting ready to get married and I feel like I am too young emotionally to do that. So a lot of relationships end sooner because I am not ready to move on to that level so quick. So here is the problem. I feel like dating wise I am more at the maturity level of someone in high school. So I feel more comfortable dating someone younger that is not so pressured to be in the marriage mode. I guess the problem is a lot of people including some women think that it is just some perverted sexual thing about younger girls. I swear its not, I just am able to have more fun dating a younger girl because its not all about marriage, its about finding out more about yourself and others.

 

I don't know what to do? If I ask a girl out that is more on my maturity level, like 19 or 20, some girls think I am some sort of pervert and that I just want to sleep with them. Some don't but a lot do. It would be a lot easier if I could just go back and change the past but I can't and a most girls my age don't seem to be patient enough to just have a good relationship without rushing to the big M.

 

Am I nuts, is there anything so wrong with wanting to date someone younger than me if that is where I am at, and what I can handle?

[shes2smart]

Am I nuts, is there anything so wrong with wanting to date someone younger than me if that is where I am at, and what I can handle?

 

Nope. As long as you're both adults, the main thing you should be looking for is someone you're compatible/comfortable with and attracted to.

 

I wasn't setting out to date younger when I met my husband, but as it turned out, he is 11 years younger than I am. We don't notice the age difference and when people see us interact with each other, they wouldn't know there's that much of a difference, either.

 

I think you are going about things the right way -- you know what you want (to date and have fun) and what you don't want (serious relationship leading to marriage), I assume you're upfront about that with potential partners, and you know better than to get involved with someone who doesn't have similiar relationship goals. As long as the younger girls are legal adults, who cares what other people think? It's really none of their business.

[Caterina]

I say make sure you are legal. But there is nothing wrong with dating someone you feel is on your maturity level. You might have a more difficult time with people who don't think that way, but there are people who do.

[annie24]

I agree with the previous posters. I see nothing wrong with the 8-10 year age gap you are talking about. As long as she is of legal age, and you feel compatible with her, that is all you need. And like S2S said - be up front about your situation. Just say that you aren't looking for a long-term relationship, just to date. Hopefully, if the girl has marriage plans soon, she'll break things off and go find a man who is looking to settle down.

 

Good luck!

[PocoDiablo]

I'm 36. My fiance is 23. We met two years ago (so 34 and 21.) She is the most amazing woman I have ever met in my entire life. She is happy, beautiful, and most importantly ... she is not bitter.

 

I would say stick to 21 as the lowest age because you want to be able to go to bars.

 

You're prefectly normal. In fact, you might be more normal than a lot of people I know!

[Stari]

Not wanting to marry does not make you less mature. On the contrary, not giving in to peer pressure is a sign of maturity.

[annie24]

It's true - I always say that to my friends who say, "but everyone is either engaged or married!" I just say, "Trust me - people break up and get divorced EVERY DAY! Just look around! New ones will pop back onto the market!"

[erjacobsonster]

i don't think there is anything wrong with dating younger than you. the main thing you want to pay attention to is that he/she has the personality and maturity that you want in a gf/bf. i know that i don't fall in to your age category but i would probably date someone younger than me as long as they're mature enough for me.