wait or give up on a commitment-a-phobe

[elements2]

I love this guy that i am bed buddies with. we have had this friends with benefits/bed buddy realtionship since we met over a year ago. we have been through a lot and ive tried numerous times to let go and move on but i always end up going back for one reason or another. well recently again talked to the guy and told him that i cant see him anymore and its for real this time,. i told him not to call me or email me or IM me or anything because it sounds good to stay friends but its just too hard for me when i care about him so much. he flipped and told me not to do this to him and he was really sad sounded like he was gonna cry and told me that he cares about me more than i know and he doesnt wanna lose me and he misses me already even though im not reallly gone and i was never really there in the first place. he told me that he isnt really acting like his true self wants to . he said the real part of him wants to be with me but he is scared and he knows that he is selfish and hes sorry and blah blah blah...well of course i fell for it and i continue to see him. caause i thiought, wow he really opened up to me cause i was gonne leave, he must really care. and ever since then he really is different to me , he is alot more caring and hes being more reliable and he is just treating me a little better...i just want to know so bad if im being a fool and hes playing me or does he really feel the way he says he does.....how do i know is he is genuine, if he is sincere????

[Serendipity1607307077]

It sounds like in a way both you and your friend have insecurity problems.. which explains why you kept going back to him. As for your friend, he is scared to lose you, but still doesn't want to have a serious relationship. That's what I see it as being.

 

It doesn't necessarily mean that he is playing you... he might have just realised that he might lose you, which isn't want he wants...

 

I think give him a chance... say two or three weeks, just see what happens, wait things out and see if anything changes. You will soon see..

[Mun]

... wow he really opened up to me cause i was gonne leave, he must really care. and ever since then he really is different to me , he is alot more caring and hes being more reliable ...

 

So did you get the committment you wanted?

[mariergn]

.. you have to be a bit of a * * * * * with this one to find out if he is sincere or not. the test will be if you back off for a bit.. just see how much he comes back to you - i know it is a bit of a mind game and maybe not your style - absense makes the heart grow fonder - so just see - !et me know as I would be interested