I want him back

[wwj]

Hi everyone. I know that many of us are in the same situation. I was dumped over a month ago. My ex b/f and I lived together for a few yrs and were exclusive for a few yrs before that. We did break up a few times, but always got back together.

 

I really love him. I want him back, but I will not contact him. He will have to come back to me. I think I will keep posting here to let you all know if he ever does contact me.

 

I am not doing no contact to move on, I am doing it b/c I was dumped and no he has not tried to contact me in anyway.

 

So, if anyway else wants to get back together with the ex and is waiting for them to re establish contact, I would love to hear from you.

 

We did have a deep connection, so if he never contacts me I will be very sad. Who knows, miracles do happen.

[ZoeMatthews]

Miracles do happen, but do not count on them!

 

No Contact really works...I broke NC after 10 days with my ex (he dumped me) because I needed his help with some personal issues...

 

He was more than willing to help me after not contacting him...After I talked to him I went back to NC and guess who is calling whom now?

 

He called me yesterday to tell me that his truck was not working, blah blah

 

then he called me this morning to ask me if I was awake..lol...

 

Be ready for the little games he is going play if he contacts you again.. When my ex called me about his truck...he said to me, "oh if you call me later on, leave a message at home, I am on my way out to see a friend".

 

I said okay and did not call him back. I had absolutely nothing to call him back about...

 

NC works...Just try it...its going to hurt like hell for the first 2 weeks, but give yourself time to get adjusted to your new circumstances.

 

ZM

[wwj]

Heh Zoe,

Thanks for your input. Yes, my ex dumped me, but, he has not called and it's been over a month. I have not contacted him either, and yes, it is hard. I feel so sad b/c he hasn't even tried to call me or email me.

 

Oh well, I will keep posting with updates and would love to hear about others who have gone through something similar.

 

I am not doing no contact to get him back. I know that this is not the purpose of no contact. I am doing no contact b/c he dumped me and if he wants me back he will call me. I just hope that he does. Unfortunately, many people surrounding him right now never thought we should be together in the first place, and I suppose he values them more than me.

[ZoeMatthews]

(((HUGS)))

 

After a while you are going to realize that you don't miss him as much anymore.. keep doing NC...I used to freak out if my ex and I did not talk on a daily basis. I would check all my emails to see if he had contacted me...

 

Its gets better and better, I can assure you of that...and you are right, you are not doing NC to get him back but to heal...

 

Start doing the things that you put off because you were in a relationship. Go out with friends..go to a book signing...go dancing...

 

It really helps...my ex broke up with me Oct 30th of this year...its been over a month...I still miss being with him, but he was the one who made the choice to break up with me...if he is lonely now (which he admitted to), its on him. I have re-acquainted myself with old friends and I have made new ones!

 

Good luck...him not contacting you is a good thing, its giving you time to take a break from him and to grow stronger emotionally.

 

(((hugs)))

 

ZM

[lizzy22]

Hi There,

 

I know exactly how you feel, because I am in the same boat. It sucks, but you know what you realize when you don't talk to them for a while, is that they may not have been worth it in the first place.

 

My ex was very verbally abusive, yet I still miss him and wonder why he hasn't called. Its only been a week since we haven't talked, but normally when we've broken up before he has called within a few days.

 

We love them so much, but is the pain you were experiencing while in the relationship worth it? This pain from missing them, from what everyone tells me, will heal soon, but if you stay in a relationship where you are always hurting and wanting out, then NC is a way to help you move on, and heal from the relationship.

 

Im confused and wondering like you as well, but in a way, maybe we are lucky because if the relationship was bad in the first place, we don't have an ex calling us making it harder to move on, which is ultimatley what we need to do.

 

All I know is that since I haven't been yelled at, hung up on, and manipulated, my life has improved. I too wonder why the ex doesn't call, but I guess we will just wait and see, and hopefully if or when they do, we will be strong.

[octopus]

Hi,

 

I was dumped this sunday too, and I will do NC until I can't do it anymore. 2 things can happen: 1) he will miss me and contact me (unlikely) 2) he won't call me but i'll be stronger.

We'll see and I'll keep posting.

[minnie]

Hi guys, i have been doing full no contact for about 10 days now. I broke up with my 'boyfriend', because i found out he was married - after 3 years. Yes, now i look back i see the signs but i feel that i chose to ignore them.

Anyway broke up with him in august, but i havent fully done no contact, i always broke it- either by answering my phone or calling him and i have also slept with him since then.

 

I feel like a fool for being kept in the dark for so long, and i have realise that he is not the person i would really want to be with, if he could do that to his wife.

 

I have made the decision to have no contact at all, so its been jst over a week and i have just found out he has gone to his home country for christmas and new year - he hasn't tried to call me.

 

Sometimes i feel good within myself, then.... well you know the rest.

 

I will post here my feelings and progress along with everyone else - so we can help each other.

 

we can do it x x x x

[nataliejulie]

wwj, how many times did you two break up? How long was the longest split?

[wwj]

This is the third time in 3 yrs. The first time, it was only for a week. The second time was for a month, and now this time, well it's been over a month and there has been not one ounce of contact on either end. I truly love him---we were very passionate. I always believed that he truly loved me, but, now I wonder.

 

I will just wait and hope. Not much more for me to do. I don't want anyone else. I tried dating---it was just pointless. I hang out with friends, but, I just don't feel like myself yet.

 

Of course, I go to work. But other than that, I am hoping for a miracle. I believe somehow people can get back together if they truly love each other. I know that if he never comes back, I will be sad for a while, but, eventually I will come to accept it. I will have no choice, and I will never, ever chase him. He left and he swore he never would again

[biz]

NC works. It worked for me a over a year ago and this site has helped me also at that time. It was so hard and learning to "forgive" that person in your heart is an amazing thing. She dumped me and went back to her ex (stalker) b/f and I felt very deceived. About four months ago I saw her in the gym and said hello with a hug. I could tell she was a little preplexed but I just kept a smile on my face and felt good about it after. Wouldn't you know two days go by and I run into her at a lunch spot where I was at when my truck was getting some work done. We had lunch and talked about whatever...every day life. After that I haven't seen her and felt great. It's weird the feeling I had b/c it was like having lunch with a friend.

 

Anyway, I'm doing NC again for a 'bout two weeks now since my g/f broke up with me. I was really thinking this was the one. It's hard with the holidays here and stuff but do I really want someone that doesn't want me?...Ahhh no.

She pertained to my every needs and vice versa but I know I did my best and right now I'm putting myself in a place where maybe in the future I could sit down with her and have lunch or coffee as friends. Right now I can't do that. So NC seems like the best thing to do. I do miss our conversations and compassion for each other.

It's funny b/c the last time we saw each other (getting my stuff back and giving her her key back) we smiled and talked about stuff in a friendly manner. I told her that I will miss her and she snapped back at me and said "it's not like I'm moving away or anything, I'll be here" etc. She called an hour later and wanted to talk some more. I told her she didn't get what I was saying about "missing her." I told her that what I meant by that is that I will miss her by my side. She listened to what I had to say with confidence and I said I had to get something to eat before work, so "I'll talk to you...whenever." She sighed. She said "have a good day at work and fill your tummy, I'll talk to you later ok." There was a pause and we hung up. That was two weeks ago and NC going strong. I don't know what to make of that but I try not to think about it throughout the day. Sometimes it gets to me but it get better.

 

Just had to get that out...sorry so long.

GOod luck

 

biz

[Nicesmile]

WWJ

I know the feeling. Its been 1 month 1 week or so since I moved out of the house my BF and I shared (after he broke up with me) and I have been on NC since. He hasn't called yet. My friends take that as a sign that he never really cared for me and I should forget him. Some days I agree with them - I mean we have been together for 3 years, lived together for 2 and frankly I expected him to contact me. Some days like now, I have to struggle not to break NC. So I come to the board. The holidays are going to be the pits - we have spent christmas and new Year's together for the last 3 years. We never really had major fights or serious problems so the break up was hard for me. I was just telling someone today that I wish he had done or I had done something really bad to make it easier on me... But that's just silly. Either way, like you said I won't chase him. Be strong.

[wwj]

Heh Nice Smile---you said something that everyone says to me also, my friends say he never really cared for me either, b/c if he did, he would have at least contacted me. Now remember, he dumped me. So that gets me thinking. I always think he just has to call me, but, then after what others tell me, and another day and night passes, I guess they are right.

 

I sometimes wonder if three months pass or something like that, and he finally does contact me, even if I still love him and want him at that point, how could I ever take him back? In my mind, I will think that he got out there and fooled around, was either unsuccessful, dumped, or just got tired of it. So I will be the fall back girl. I know that I am worth soooo much more than that. I have a great deal going for me. I deserve to be someone's number one. He was always my number one priority.

 

I also wonder about all of the people surrounding him now. Family, friends, that may tell him move on, forget about her, she's not worth it. I know that a strong person can think for themselves, so maybe he is just weak, and no I do not want a weak man.