ex tells me he loves me and misses me but we get no where

[littlelaxer]

My ex and i have been apart for over a year. It was his decision due to the face that he was immature and wanted to be single. Through out the whole break up i do not call him he calls me and he comes to my work to visit me and does the texting. Through out the whole break up i have told him to leave me alone but evenually we talk again and we are fine. But i cant take it anymore we dont get anywhere,

 

In this past sept he told me that he still loves me, cares for me, misses me and thinks of me everydya and knows he regrets breakin up. BUT he just doesnt want a relationship. I tell him im not waiting.

 

A couple weeks ago he calls and asks to borrow my book for a class. i let him. The a weekend after that he invites me over for a party but i dont answer the phone. He calls the next day and asks where i was. I lied and said i was out on a date and he was all like oh?!? and i didnt talk about it. i really was at home workin on school work.

 

This past weekend he and i talk on the phone. He is in atlantic city with friends but talks to me anyways. He says that when i get my book back that he wrote something in it. He wouldnt tell me what it was. Then he asks about my "man" i said things are good and he thinsk he is my bf. I am talkin to a guy but not dating but the ex thinks we are dating

 

This past monday the ex calls and asks for help for a paper. I tell himi i will help him but im gonna need the book so of course i look for it. I take the book home and he textes me the page #. He wrote "my name, i will always love you. p.s. i never ment to hurt u." he textes me sayin for me not to get upset

 

i ask him why did he say that. he said he wanted to tell me for awhile. but for me not to jump to conculsions. i text him and say after this paper i never want to talk or see u again. all u do is play games and im sick of it. Find someother girl u can jerk around cause im done. He calls and gets all upset. He starts cryin sayin how he loves me and misses everyhting about me. How he wants me to marry him ni the future. How he wants to be with me but at the same time he cant cuase hes not ready.

 

I didnt knwo what to say. we ended ok. that night i call him and leave him a vmail saying that i am done. I dont want to talk to him anymore or see him. and i will leave his book at his house in the morning.

 

i wrote a short letter explaining my side. I wanted to leave it nice but at the same time firm on my deciion. I told him that i care about him very much and that he was the best but at the same time worst thing to happen in my life so far. I explain why he was the bst and then i said the worst because u wont let me go

 

i explained how i cant take this anymore. That im done and i have been for awhile. I said that if one day if he knows what he wants then to call me. And maybe if that day ever comes he better hope im still around

 

He text me earlier today saying "fine if thas what u want. i fu*kin quit" i think he said that before he read the letter cuase he doesnt go home till after work. I havent heard from him since.

 

Did i do the right thing??? i love himand care for him but i cant do this anymore. i guess maybe he needs to see life without me and i have to be tough. i just need feedback for my situation if i did the right thing and if my letter seemd good....i hope it affected him....

[patience]

I think you did the right thing.

He has kept you in limbo for way too long.

I suggest no contact so that you can finally begin to heal.

He has ISSUES.

[emma34]

Wow...you TOTALLY did the right thing, to a tee, with the letter and all. NC is best for a long long time. He definitely has issues. Don't go back on this - be strong!

[littlelaxer]

thank you for ur responces. like i said i love him and im scared that he will NEVER come around. i try to move on i do....

 

i guess deep down im hoping that after awhile if im strong and follow what i say im gonna do that he realizes. i know him and i know what he tells me is the truth on his feelings for me but he just wont grow up and i cant stay around for that. but i dont know whats gonna happen. i know hes probably expecting me to text him and say i didnt mean it or what ever but im not. Would gettin a note like that affect you??

 

could just be wishful thinking.

[emma34]

When I broke up my ex of 2.5 yrs..I didn't do NC and stupidly got back togehter with him like a month later....for a day. I left him a letter being firm but not cold, expecting him to understand - but sometimes, they never understand...until later that is. His first response was anger. He called me up, got all dramatic and told me that I was being so hurtful and blah blah, and then told me he loved me again...and I was like 'huh?'. So basically what I'm trying to say is I think he might be pissed at first but eventually he will understand - and hopefullly for you realize what he could lose. In the mean time, dating other people is a definite good thing.

[Mun]

I think you did the right thing. He has to know that if he is not ready for what you want then he has to let you go. You gotta look out for yourself. Good things will come.

[annie24]

I also think you did the right thing. He can tell you he loves and misses you all he wants, but unless he suggest actually getting back together..... what are you supposed to do? Put your life on hold for the next 7 years, until he decides he is ready to finally be your boyfriend again? Yuck.

 

You just go on with your life, keep up what you're doing If he wants you, he knows where to find you. If you haven't married some wonderful, rich, sweet, handsome hunk by then