Weird txts from ex

[TheLostBird]

So I have cut all contact with my ex fiance for about a week and I actually have been feeling better since. However she still sends me an occasional txt here and there. All very weird and random. The last one she sent was her telling me "I really miss you ... riiiiggghhtt", implying that she doesnt at all. So I replied with a simple "Ok" and that was it.

 

What is all this coming from. I was almost happy she found another guy to quit harassing me for a while...but she still does this cold hearted crap.

 

Any thoughts?

 

TheLostBird

[capricorn85]

She is so mean for that. If she continues then you should change your number. That's what I did and it helped me a lot. Keep up the NC and she'll eventually get the point.

[arwen]

That text sounds really pathetic. I think she is trying to make you feel bad, but instead she looks bad. In the future, I'd really ignore everything and keep strict NC. The best way to this childish behaviour is not respond to it. This way she doesn't get what she wants anyway.

 

Ilse.

[lunatic]

WOW thats pretty cold hearted for her to do. What I would do next time she TXT's you I would say something about her not contacting you anymore.

 

Then do not respond to any of her TXT's, emails, phone calls, nothing. Just cut all contact and leave her to her misurable self. With someone like that in your life who needs enemies?

[newts]

Just ignore them! U can read my posts on this behaviour. Don't buy into it. Not always, but most times they are lonely and thinking about how well you treated them or how good u are. Don't make their transition easier.

 

Work on yourself, and healing your broken heart. It is so em-powering to know u have moved on when your ex is miserable.

[kellbell]

Hi there!

 

Man, this girl doesn't know when to quit!! You can do two things, completely ignore her texts, erase them without reading them or changing your number. I'd go for changing you number but that's up to you. I know it stinks about changing you number because you shouldn't have to but her immature behavior is leaving you very few options.

[hockeyboy]

wouldnt be surprised if its her guy friend who sent that.

[kellbell]

All the more reason to change your number.

[WildChild]

OK Lostbird, I gotta throw it out here. She keeps sending you these horrible, horrible messages. They are rotten, cruel and mean and yet you don't change your number. Why?

[Ms Omaniac]

you know...i remember towards the end of my one awful relationship...we both did stupid petty things like that.

when i told my therapist...she said sometimes people do that because they miss the other person in their life and want to talk to them but hate them or dislike them or cant stand them...so the only form of communication is to pick a fight. say anything...just to get any type of answer or response from the other person.

she says they do that because any type of response...whether it be good or bad...shows that the other person must still mean something if they actually gave a response.

the worst thing you could do to them in their eyes is to completely ignore them. this shows them that they are insignificant in their life now or that youre moving on without them. this makes them feel as lowly as possible. that's why the cliche "the best revenge is living well" is aptly applied here.

[TheLostBird]

I dont want to change my number coz its heavily involved in my work and shes not worth the trouble anyway...

 

TheLostBird

[coooolsome]

Hey, I want you to hear what I have realized. I was thinking today and I realized that I will be ok. God has a plan for all of us and even though we dont see it right now, we will when the time is right. My first GF I had I didnt get until I was 19. I looked and looked and looked and never could get anyone before that. She just kinda fell into my lap. We only dated for a month but my recent ex was the result of that. She told me that she didnt realize she liked me until she saw me and my ex ex together. I dated her for 4 years before she broke up with me 3 months ago.

 

I was lost, confused, hurt, didnt know what to do. I felt worthless. Now, I realize that God wants me to be single b/c there were things I needed to learn. I needed to be happy with myself. I realized that your friends will always be there for you. Your family will always be there for you. I learned to love myself again, to not devote everything to someone else. To think and do things for myself and not others. I never thought I would be able to get another person but I do know that I will. I am a great person and my ex threw that away and she might regret it one day.

 

I will find someone one day when the time is right. I am happy being single right now. Yes I miss my ex and the times we share but I have learned so much and become so much better that I am sort of grateful we broke up. I love my ex with all my heart and I have let her go.

 

What am I trying to say.....well, continue to give her the space she wants. If she keeps texting you, ignore them, delete them. You no longer have any obligations to her, only to yourself. Do what makes you happy. Realize that you will be ok.

 

Also, remember that even though on the outside someone seems happy, they might not be inside. Think about it, your ex was probably not happy inside but on the outside everything seemed fine until she broke up with you. If it helps you move on, think that she has found the person she will marry and is never coming back. Hope is the one thing that keeps us from moving forward. Let go of the hope and be happy that she is happy.

 

This is what I have faith in now....that I will be alright. That I will find someone that will make me happy. Have faith in yourself and in God. Im not a religious person but it does help putting your faith in God. Hell, my life has been great and it will continue to be great.

[newts]

Do you know what?

 

Changing your cell number is worth it! I have a very successful business, which I established 5 years ago, I changed my number because of an ex, informed all of my clients and have never looked back. It's not hard and it is worth it for you. Keep your original number and have it constantly diverted to messagebank, turn it off and leave it off, advise your clients of the change and then check it at night. I have kept my old number for just over a year, it took about 6 months til people stopped calling for business, however, my ex stills rings it to this day. LOL... what a silly boy.

[WildChild]

Lostbird, how does it make you feel though when you read her texts?

[TheLostBird]

Its a mixture of a lot of feelings. I know I can be ok without her, its just that shes winning winning winning in ever single way and its bugging the crap out of me...

[WildChild]

OK, you gotta know deep down Lost that she is NOT winning. It may seem like she is, but for her to be texting you these messages she is NOT winning. I keep saying it, but she is getting something out of this. Sometimes misery loves company. Maybe she is miserable but she wants you to think she is happy. Maybe she wants to get your goat. Maybe she is so used to treating you like crap she just plain enjoys doing it. But for whatever reason she is doing this, she is a loser for being so cruel. Capital L.....

[melrich]

That really is a terrible text to send to you. Is that in her character? I have to admit I thought like Hockeyboy that maybe it was the new b/f that sent this.

 

Anyway I think your response was absolutely perfect. "OK". I agree with the others, don't show any emotion in your response or don't respond at all.

 

And if this sort of thing is in her character, why would you miss this person?

[TheLostBird]

No this is not how she used to treat me at all, however i know for sure its not the guy shes dating, hes a decent man actually. Thats why its confusing, it seems like shes a different person trying to "teach me a lesson" or something stupid like that....

[melrich]

Very strange. Does she have anything to be bitter with you about? Was the break up acrimonious? Did you pester her?

 

I mean, whatever, it does not excuse that sort of text. As i said before I think your response was very good and I'd continue the same or no response at all.

[WildChild]

If you could say anything to her at all and only one thing, what would you say to her right now?

[TheLostBird]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[WildChild]

Obviously you realize now the mistakes that were made, however it does not give her the right LostBird to harass you. It probably made her feel good that you were trying to make things work whether she wanted it to or not, but once you began the NC you no longer were feeding her ego. I'm sorry she feels the need to go out of her way to be a jerk to you. How old is she because her behavior is very immature.

[hola]

" God has a plan for all of us " and "Everything happens for a reason"

 

Not trying to be an Jerk, but quotes like this I find amusing. What "plan" does God have for the millions of people who live in places like Zambia or Swaziland that starve, (2/3 of the people live on less then a dollar a day), have aids (approx 1/4 of the population), where life expectancy is less then 40 years old b/c the infected population passes HIV to the newborn almost 50% of the time.

 

I can understand believing in a higher power, but to think that God has scripted your life is rediculous. In fact, I think more useful quotes should be "god has no plan for anyone" and "Nothing happens for any reason." Either that or God really loves you by allowing you to live in the richest nation in the world or he really hates Africa.

[WildChild]

I'm a little lost as to how your post pertains to this thread