im lost...

[black-dress_black-heart]

i am 15...i was raped at 13...i have no family..life, breathing thinkin it all hurts, i cry every day, i cant get through da day without cutting...i dont cope with anything...i have to be strong for all my friends, no one knows...i tried to kill my self..im scared ill do it again, no one can help me, no one knows.

what should i do???

[TheRock]

Hey black-dress,

You seem to be in real pain and you certainly have reason to be. I can't say that I understand what you are going through, but try to remember that everyday problems can just pile up if you let them, or you can let them lift you up and help you become stronger. Try to think of it this way---If you were in a ditch and someone was filling it with dirt, would you let the dirt bury you or would you step on each pile and let it lift you up. Of course, you would let it lift you up. Keep some hope that things are not all bad and reflect on some of the good things in your life. If it is possible, speak to someone that you trust on this subject (cutting, the rape), or can you get counseling? Good luck!

[Jut]

Im sorry to hear what happened. It sure must be tough to get through this trauma but hey, you crsuied thruogh 2 years. Do you have a friend or someone in the family who listens to you. You need to talk to someone close and get things out of your mind so that they dont depress you. Go out as much as you can make friends. If no body listens to you you can go to a psycologist or we are here for you. You can PM anyone on this forum including me.

[black-dress_black-heart]

i went to a psycologist, they wanted to make sure i was sane, that was before it got this bad thought, i was in councilling when i tried to kill myself, but i havent been back, they want me to stop and talk and tell my family, but i havent got any, so i am outta ideas.

[FCTex]

I don't know if your into Church.. But.. Find a youth group. Those kids will not judge you for who you are, and the mentors and pastors/preachers/priests will offer you any time you need to talk, to work things out. They won't/don't have to preach to you, but having someon in person to confide in, who it totally neutral, is something hard to come by at times.

 

Just a suggestion.. Stay strong, your young, and things really do get worlds better!

[ocrob]

My heart just sunk when I read what you had to say. You are too young to be in so much pain. Just know that things can get so much better. I think it is great that you are on this site. The people here seem to all be going through some sort of pain, which makes them great listeners. Think of everyone on here as your friend and we will give you support. Things will get better and you have to be strong! Take care of yourself.

[PersonalMe]

hey, uve gotten a few replies so u might nto read mine, but i just wanted to tell u that no matter how much your hurting on the inside, no physical pain, will EVER make it better. i use to be somewhat suicidal before, when i was about 15 or 16. because i use to get in the worst problems and i thought that i would never get out of them, eventually i started to realise that after every ba dthing that happened to me, something good would happen, it wouldnt always happen, but it sometimes would, life is FULL of ups and downs, but just because the downs r the worst, doesnt mean u have to stay there...on the contrary, get up from the downs, and proove to yourself that nothing will bring u down again! i feel there is a black curtain over you, and seems to me like everything i say or anyone else says will not get trhough to you, so all i can tell u is that the ABSOLUT BEST person who can help u, is you. u r the only one that will be able to get u out of this, just use our help as motivation good luck!!

[Jinx]

i am 15...i was raped at 13...i have no family..life, breathing thinkin it all hurts, i cry every day

 

It is unfortunate such a horrific thing occurred at such a young age. More so, it is one of those traumatic events in life that if it doesn't go poof, and the thoughts will always remain to some extent. The first year you can think of as the milestone, it is usually the hardest, it gets better as time progresses though.

 

i have to be strong for all my friends

Being blunt on this topic, if you commit suicide or die from self injury who will they have then? Being strong and hiding pain is okay to an extent in certain other circumstances and scenarios but this one isn't, it could cost you your life, and think about how your friends would be affected.

 

they want me to stop and talk and tell my family, but i havent got any

If I may ask, what is your current situation then? Whom are you living with? I suppose that is what they were meaning. Even if your true family is gone, the individuals with who you reside would by default be your family or at least (if you won't consider them that) the people which to talk to.

 

Even like I said above, friends are worth talking to. In such events, they often can help a lot more than you'd think, and none of us can be strong 100% of the time it is impossible. I'm often the one who listens and works with my friends when they have problems, the steady rock so to speak, but even I realize there are times I have to come down and be the one speaking. Otherwise it'll just burn you further, and even hurt them not having you in "working condition".

 

Further, another question, have you considered why you're cutting? Have you in a (as much as possible given the situation) rational manner though over the situation again? You need to realize it isn't your fault that such things happened. I think you may need to analyze what all hurts, get the pinpoints of the pain and nail them down to work. If you're thinking "This hurts so much." but only have a vague generalized idea that you were raped it isn't hitting the emotional pinpoints which are truly the driving force behind the self injury.

 

I've been in a similar situation, I know for myself it was all the facts that it was

Someone I trusted. Taken Advantage of. Physical Pain. Emotional Pain. Who is at fault/blame. People don't listen or undertstand well. Some people just don't care. Among a hundred other things, but identifying the roots of the situation really helps because then you'll able to think them over from there.

[good_charlotte_freak2]

Hey, WOW, you sound just like me...sorta...my situation is similar...I am 13...I haven't bin raped no...but I have been physicall beaten on and abused by my step-father...I hvae a family I live with...but I don't talk to anyone in it...Not at all. I'e beeen to counceling because I tried killing my self...it's hard to stop...My advice to you is...hang in there....eventually it'll be alright. It has been alright for me now...I'm doing ok..I could be better...but I am still doing better.

[Jut]

Good Charlotte

You are a brave girl and having this much patience and courage to give advice to others even when you are in pain is great. Keep it up.

[good_charlotte_freak2]

Hey Jut, Thanx

[_hopeless_]

first of all I can tell you are a very strong person and I think the best thing for you to do is maybe see a doctor or counsiler... because they can help make this easier don't go through this alone because you have people who love you and don't want you to have to go through this alone

[estelle]

you seem to be suffering from depression so i would suggest that you go to your GP and get referred to a psych. they will be able to offer therapy that will help you to cope with the difficult situations you will encounter in life, and also the things that have happened to you already. cutting is an easy way to cope with pressure, but it becomes addictive, the longer you self harm, the harder it is to stop. i really think that you should seek professional help, at least you wont be alone.

 

you could also try talking to a teacher or parent about what you are going through. they will be able to give you advice and support which is what you need right now

 

good luck and take care

estelle

-x-

[helpmehelpmydaughter]

I'm sooo sorry that your in soo much pain!!! I wish that I could fix it for you but I can't, Only YOU can do that with some help. Have you tried speaking to a counselor at school.

My daughter is a cutter but has not been raped or sexually abused. However I was sexually abused as a young lady and I still live with the pain daily. I can't tell you that it will ever go away but I found a place for it and I try to leave it there. I'm much older and use it as a learning experience to try to protect my daughter.

It's not worth losing your life over. Use it to help others which I believe in turn will help you. So many young women don't think this can ever happen to them, but you can't let them know it can and does daily!!!!!

You have a lot of living left to do!!!!!! Please don't stop living now. If you need to talk please e-mail me!!! I will listen to you!!!