estelle

well done everyone. i am finding it very difficult to stop SIing and i applaud anyone who has managed to stop. i will not give up and it is good to know that there are people who have overcome it. thank you

it is good that you have stopped cutting and you should be proud of yourself, well done. you can understand how hard it is to stop cutting and if she does not want to stop then you cant make her. having a friend is very important, she needs someone to talk to. you could also encourage her to deal with her emotions in a less destructive way. help her find out alternatives and simply let her know that you support her and dont judge her. good luck

i have had a similar experience. my mum died a year ago and i got no support from my dad, who has recently kicked me out. i went to live with my nan but unfortunately i could not take my pets. i found i easy to find them homes, but hard to let them go. i found it especially hard accepting that i hed to rehome Anna who was one of my 7 dogs. she is a five year old rough collie who i have had since the day she was born. Anna was born breech and nearly died, then Nikita(hermum) rejected her so, as my dad worked full time, i had to 6 weeks off school to hand rear Anna and to make sure the other 5 pups were ok with the rest of the adults. i had a very srong bond with Anna and i was heartbroken when i had to give her up. i knew that if she stayed with my dad she would have a low quality of life and be unhappy. i knew that she would be better off in a new home but this is hard for us, as people, to deal with. she is now in a loving home and is very spoilt. i go and visit her as often as i can and take her out for walks and buy her things. try to find your dog a home with a friend, then you can still visit him from time to time. if this is not possible, try and see if someone can 'foster' him while you get yourself back on your feet. this, however, may not be the best thing for him as he will be confused with all the changes. you have to think of your dog. you are responsible for his happiness and if this means finding him a new home, that is what you have to do. your dog knows that you love him and you have given him a good life while you have had him. you wont forget him and he will live with the things that you have taught him - how to trust people, love, loyalty... these will stay with him forever and even if you are not physically with him, you have made the rest of his life good by just knowing and receiving those things be proud that you have helped your beloved pet in life and understand that you need to do what is right for him. it is hard and you willmiss each other but you will get over it. good luck in finding him a lovely home where he will live the rest of his life happily estelle and anna

i would firstly like to thank everyone for their support. steff, my little sister is 8 years old. she does not know the details of my mum's death, just that she is gone. i think that makes it easier for her to deal with. i visited her over the weekend and she told me that she wanted to live with me and would do anything to have mum back. this upset me but i didn't show that to her. should i show her that i miss her too and that it is ok to be upset or would this not be good for her. i want to be strong for her but i am worried that, although she talks about missing her, she has not actually gotten upset or cried yet. what can i do to help Bobbie (my sis) through this??? thanks again to everyone that replied to my message

hey, cutting seems like the quickest way to make you feel better, but in the long run, it is not. dying is not the answer, think of the people you will leave behind and all the opportunities that you will miss out on. you will eventually manage you money problems and find someone that loves and respects you for you. if you ar enot happy in the band - leave it - find another - or talk to the other members and try and sort out the things you ar eunhappy with. you sound like you ar esuffering from depression so not being happy with the band could be due to that. it may not seem like it, but living at home is the best thing for you at the moment. until you are feeling at bit more secure about youself and are happier, the support you should receive from the family will help you through this difficult time. good luck and please do not get into the habit of cutting!

what did you do for his birthday. i have only gone through one of my mum's b'days since she died but i found it nice to sit somewhere that i could be with her. my mum's ashes were stolen by her ex so i have no grave or anything. but i found it comforting to find a place where we spent some time together that we both enjoyed. my mum too had a drug and alcohol problem and she was also mentally ill, the place i go to be with her is a place that she was sobre and having one of her good days. you will always love your dad and he loved you, even if he found it hard to show you. you will never forget him, and you shouldn't, you should tell your kids stories about him and show them pictures so he will never be lost. thinking of you estelle

hi i am 17 years old and last year my mum commited suicide. i am finding it hard to cope and cut on a daily basis. i want to stop but i am stuggling with lots of other things in my life that are making it impossible to focus on stopping. i get images in my head of my mum burning (she set herslf on fire) and i dream about her all the time. i had alot of problems with my mum when she was alive as she was mentally ill and was an alcoholic but i now feel guilty for not helping her enough to be able to let her know that i was there for her. i cant stop thinking that it is my fault that she is dead and i feel really bad for my little sister who is now in foster care. i visit my sister once a month and she asked me things about our mum. i dont know what to say to her as it just upsets me. i have a psychiatrist, psychotherapist and i go to anger management sessions . i am also on medication but nothing seems to be helping me. i have also recently started to see people around me burst into flames which sends me into a panic attack. my teachers at college know of my problems and support me but i feel that i am letting everyone down. please help, i dont know what to do. is this normal for someone who is grieving or am i just crazy?

there are alot of things in life that most people take for granted. these are the things that you should live for. it may seem like you have nothing going for you and you are better off dead, but this is not the case. you may feel this way, but you dont seem to realise how many people you will hurt. i am 17 and, admittedly i have attempted suicide a few times, but i realised just in time that i had no need to die and that i could make something of my life. my mum commited suicide last year, her life was bad, but she still had people that loved and cared about her, she just didnt realise it. you need to think carfully about the people who care for you and make a list of all the positive things in your life. when you feel down, take out the list and remind yourself of the good things you have. good luck

you seem to be suffering from depression so i would suggest that you go to your GP and get referred to a psych. they will be able to offer therapy that will help you to cope with the difficult situations you will encounter in life, and also the things that have happened to you already. cutting is an easy way to cope with pressure, but it becomes addictive, the longer you self harm, the harder it is to stop. i really think that you should seek professional help, at least you wont be alone. you could also try talking to a teacher or parent about what you are going through. they will be able to give you advice and support which is what you need right now good luck and take care estelle -x-

well...i dont find that drawing on youself and imagining cutting actually helps to get rid of the addiction. i agree, the addiction is the hardest part of recovering. if medication and exercise helps you, continue doing that. try other methods as well, you never know, they might work, but stick to what you know keep up the good work

theya re either attention seeking because they are emo kids, or they are trying to get people to know what they are doing so they can get help. i understand how it can make others feel when people go around "bragging" about their self harm, but if they just want help, people ignoring them is just going to make them feel worse about themself. Talk to them or get a teacher to talk to them so they can get to the bottom of their behaviour, they can get help or be told they are not to say things like that in the school environment. good luck

cutting is sort of a release to the pressure that is buiding up inside of you. it is hard to control your emotions and all the jumbled emotions make you feel depressed and numb. cutting is a way to prove to yourself that you still exist, and that you can feel. you brother is obviously in alot of distress and needs to have someone to support him, it is the only way he will get better. it is good that he checked himself in, it shows that he actually wants help and understands that he needs help to get out of the hole he is in with his life. try to understand that he is fragile so dont try to pressure him into explaining himself - that is the last thing he needs. just let him know that you are there for him and are willing to talk if he wants. good luck estelle -x-

ok, well if you want to aviod cutting that is the first step to recovery. when i feel like cutting but want to avoid it i generally talk to someone i trust. this sort of takes my mind off the idea and makes it easier to find a more creative activity to do instead. try drawing or painting what you are feeling instead of cutting, this way you get some emotions out and you avoid cutting. it is not a healthy thing to get into but lots of people do so you are definitely not alone. i have been cutting since i was 12 and attempted suicide for the first time at 13. it is a hard task to stop cutting but you are a strong person and i am sure that you will overcome it. good luck in your efforts. estelle -x-

i am a self harmer and i fell the same way as you. i want to stop cutting but also find the urge overwelming. sometimes i do it to prove that i am still here, other times to punish myself, but i also do it because it is like an addiction. when you want to cut, phone up a friend or talk to someone you can trust, this might take your mind off the idea. you can do this, just believe in yourself, and you lots of support if you need it on the forums. good luck and take care. estelle -x-