i am afraid of being alone

[devoted]

hello every one,

I had such very loneliness felings right now i feel like i am starting not to breath coz the fact that my bf is leaving in the country in a week and i already accept that he is leaving and knowing that he will never come back anymore and now i feel like iam drifted apart and drowning myself in death coz we live together for 10 months and its so so so sad

i dont know what to do when i am use to sleep with him every night when i woke up in the morning i could touch him and kiss him and make love to him and then all of the sudden i will be alone

pls pls help me

i am going crazy

thanks

[teacup]

you have to love yourself. this struggle, this constant searching for someone else to love us, can bring us great great tremendous pain. i just felt it half an hour ago and i still feel some of it even right now. it hurts really bad because we push all our love onto another person and hope that they reciprocate with their love.

 

but when we take that love and we give it to ourselves, we learn to love ourselves in everyway and to forgive ourselves and to really take care of who we are......then we grow. then we are okay with being alone. because we're not "alone", we're with ourselves.

 

if you spend a lifetime running away from you and yourself, you will always be alone no matter what. we are with ourselves all the time, we can't get away from ourselves, that's why we learn to love us. im learning to love myself. loving myself is the greatest and hardest love....

 

this is the best and most important thing i learned from my short fling this winter. but im holding onto this lesson with all my heart. you HAVE to love yourself......the key to unlocking love is in your own heart.

[michelemybell]

Teacup, you're right on the money.

 

Devoted, the most important lesson you can learn from a breakup is not to rely on someone else for happiness or for a life. A boyfriend/spouse can be tremendous support, but they can't be your everything. I know it's hard right now to understand this, but it's something we've all had to learn the hard way. You will get through this. Just try to be good to yourself.

[ShySoul]

devoted,

 

What makes you so certain you will never be together again? Is this a breakup or is it that he has to leave and you just can't be together physically but can still be there in spirit?

 

I agree with the others that you have to love yourself first. You should focus on the good inside you and live for yourself.

 

Not being with someone we love, with whom we have shared all those nights together, is devastating. It can feel as if all the air is being sucked out of you and you don't have something to live for, regardless of if it is permanent or just a separation. But you should realize that you will get through it. It will take time and you will hurt. That's natural. But it gets easier. Focus on you and doing what makes you happy. And you should be grateful for all the good times you had together, some people haven't even had that.

 

Hope you feel better.

[ihearyou]

Dear teacup, i logged on accidentely and saw a post from you. I have to tell you I see a lot of people with similar experiences to you. You will be able to put some of this behind you and move, but probably not on your own. Find a counselling service that is free for you and talk through your issues with someone who is trained to listen. The self love and independance that awaits you cannot be measured. Find out who you are and make a decision to be who you want to be, take care x