waylon Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 Right, dunno if anyone else feels the same but here goes... Lately I've been dwelling on the fact that I'm getting older and I'm single (after coming out of a 4 year relationship 4 months ago), all of my friends that are my age are either married or engaged, some are even expecting babies... It kinda sucks I'm starting to feel like an old single person the other day I noticed a gray hair and totally freaked out... Guess I'm a little annoyed with my ex it kinda feels like she stole my youth. We met when I was 21 and she dumped me when she turned 21 which quite easily means that she could be married by the time she reaches 25 and here I am single... Grrrrr. Another annoying thing that I've noticed after deciding to date girls a little older is... The girls I've met between 23 and 26 years of age are so comfortable in their singleness that they don't really want to get attached to anyone. Guess I have this fear of still being single by the time I reach 30. I know it sounds stupid but I'm seriously afraid of reaching that age... Think it comes down to the fact that everyone in my family was married before 25. Times change, I guess. People get married later nowadays but it still bothers me somewhat... Link to comment
shademan Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 man i used to think like you , but when i observed closely , i'm terrified of not being single forever. Link to comment
waylon Posted November 26, 2005 Author Share Posted November 26, 2005 no offense but wait until you're a little older and your priorities will change... Link to comment
shes2smart Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 25 is not old. It may feel old to you, as it's the oldest you've been to this point, but in the larger scheme of things, 25 is not old. It appears to be very common to hit these "oh my God, I'm still single" freak-out points as one approaches certain ages. 30 is a big one. 40 is another one. I saw a lot of my chick friends/co-workers hit that "I'm nearly 30 and I'm still single" freak-out point and just marry the next guy that came along & asked or the guy they were with. I've also seen some of them live to regret it. It's not a race. There is no prize for getting married early, and I think the younger one is when one gets married, the more of a crapshoot it is. Mainly because people are still in the beginning stages of learning who they are through their 20's. Who you are at age 21 is probably going to be very different from who you are at age 31. One's twenties are a very volatile decade. And while we grow & change over the course of our lives (if we're doing things right), that rate of change tends to slow down the older we get. Also, if we're doing things right, we get to know ourselves better the older we get -- we have a clearer picture of our likes/dislikes and what works for us and more importantly what doesn't work for us in relationships. Even though I had opportunities to get married prior to when I did, I wasn't ready to do so until my late 30's. I was just a couple months past my 37th birthday when I did. Both my husband and the relationship we have were worth the wait. There is no way I could've been capable of being or ready to be in this relationship in my 20's or even my early 30's. As a side note, I've known since about the age of 15 that I didn't want children so that whole biological clock thing didn't come into play at all. I would imagine wanting to become a parent and knowing one only has a finite amount of peak fertility time changes the picture in a lot of ways. Anyway, just about everyone freaks out about something as they approach any "decade" birthday (30, 40, 50 and beyond). Just work your way through it, and try not to make any fear-based decisions because of it. Decisions we make from a fear-based place tend to be the ones we later wish we'd done differently. Link to comment
nataliejulie Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 I'm not sure if that is JUST so true. I'm 23 years old. I graduated high school at the age of 16 and started college at 17. I've went through the period of partying, of singlehood. I've been on my own since 18. I've dated so many men, I can't even remember all their names. I would love to settle down. I'm not saying, getting married tomorrow or next year... but I would love to have a long term committment with a possible future. The past few days, I've even spoken to friends saying I should start looking for men between 28-35. I'm very mature for my age, very settled for where I am right now. However, most my friends (who are the ages of 25-31) are engaged, married, or in a very serious relationship. I would LOVE that! And then, I know men who are 30 that are TERRIFIED of settling down. I think it's just a matter of THAT person. There are some people who are just not ready to fully "grow up". Link to comment
waylon Posted November 26, 2005 Author Share Posted November 26, 2005 I agree, moved out of the house when I was 18, did the whole tertiary education / partying thing. At 21 I was earning more than both my parents and thought I'd met the right girl to settle down with later down the line... Grrrr now I'm back to square one. The single girls I know round about my age are only starting their careers now and are nowhere near where I am at. Maybe we just grew up too quickly. Link to comment
Jut Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 Waylon 25 is young to get settled down. I am not saying this coz "there is so much out there" etc but because i want you to think what all is there in your life that you want to accomplish that you havent. Do you think you have enough savings, a house, the beamer you always wanted. Prioritize other things coz once you get settled you might miss some goals or compromise. Make a goal for yourself, get a promotion or aim to save some money by the end of year or buy a house by end of next. Its the media that feeds us telling us how "pathetic" life is being single, one is below the social peers if you are single etc. Link to comment
Stari Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 When people mature, they become more secure in themselves. With the increased security, they stop trying to convince others how darn mature they are. Link to comment
moondog627 Posted November 26, 2005 Share Posted November 26, 2005 Dude, 25 is NOT old at all. You're only as old as your mind allows you to be. Just enjoy the ride and when the time is right you'll find someone you can share your life with. Link to comment
ShySoul Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 You are far from old at 25. You are just starting out and will experience many great things from here on out. You'll enjoy great times as both single and attached. The world is yours to see and do all the things you want to do. At 25, it seems that people are settling down and it must feel sad to not have that yourself. I'm fast approaching 23 and have never had so much as a girlfriend. I feel down as well. It seems like we are missing out and everyone else gets to have a great life. But like shes2smart said, there is no timeframe for this. Its not a race. Relationships and love happens in its own time, when it is right. And when it does happen it will be wonderful. The best thing we can do is to live our own lives, to enjoy each day as it comes. Do you want to spend your time wishing things were different, only to one day look back and wish you had spent that time doing other things? There is so much to do in life, so much to enjoy and experience. So enjoy and experience it. Relationships will come. In the meantime, enjoy life to the fullest. It isn't silly to have a fear of being single. No one wants to be alone. I have had times where I am afraid that I will always be single. And its not a happy thought. But then I realize that the future is still uncertain. There is no way I can know what will happen to me when I am 30. So I'm just going to think about today. I'm going to focus on me and what I enjoy. And if I find someone, cool. If I don't, it'll happen eventually. Just focus on who you are, being the best you that you can be. You'll probably find that when you don't think about, something will come to you. Link to comment
sparticuss Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 Old?? Are you kiddding? Thats not old. Old is -- Starting to see grey hair on your kids -- Sex with your daughters girlfriend, or your girlfriends daughter without being arrested -- Going on a holiday carrying more legal than illegal drugs -- On the way the cops pull you over for an eyesight test instead of a breath test. -- Your superannuation is making you more money than your salary. -- and a doctor who can't pull the wool over your eyes any better than your accountant or your mechanic. Link to comment
waylon Posted November 27, 2005 Author Share Posted November 27, 2005 Guess you guys are right, im just being silly... sparticus you really made me laugh with your interpretation of being old! Link to comment
moondog627 Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 Old?? Are you kiddding? Thats not old. Old is -- Starting to see grey hair on your kids -- Sex with your daughters girlfriend, or your girlfriends daughter without being arrested -- Going on a holiday carrying more legal than illegal drugs -- On the way the cops pull you over for an eyesight test instead of a breath test. -- Your superannuation is making you more money than your salary. -- and a doctor who can't pull the wool over your eyes any better than your accountant or your mechanic. That is too funny. Especially the drug line. Link to comment
Hannibal Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 "25 is not old. It may feel old to you, as it's the oldest you've been to this point" I just think that is so funny! Link to comment
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