Christmas Card

[chaos]

Don't worry, it's not to the ex. Her and I have nothing left to say to eachother. I just wanted to send one to her family, to say goodbye. This is what I was thinking of writing.

 

I'm sorry I didn't get to say a proper goodbye so this will have to do. I want to say that I thought of you all as family and had really hoped to make it official. Unfortunately, it's not to be. I want to thank you for accepting me into your family and your home if only for a short time. Thank you for all the good food and good company. Most of all, thank you for helping to show me the importance of family. It's meant a lot to me and is probably the biggest reason I'm talking to my father again. I miss you all and will never forget you. I wish you long, happy, healthy lives. Merry Christmas, this year, and for all the years yet to come.

 

I'm interested in feedback, should I send it or not, should I say that or not. Anything really. I've been thinking about what I wanted to say and I think that covers everything. I'll tell ya, it was hard to write... I'm all emotional again...

[heloladies21]

It's a bad idea. Stay in NC and do your best to move on.

[NR498E]

dont do it.im sure they havent even considered sending you a card.

[acuraman]

I agree with the others on NOT sending the ex's family a card. It just doesnt sound like a good idea because its not appropriate for a xmas card.

[renaissancewoman101]

Why is it so bad to send the ex's family a Christmas card??? It isnt as though they are involved in your breakup. I can see why he wants to send his ex's family a Christmas card to thank them for all they've done for him.

 

Part of me is contemplating sending my ex's parent's a Christmas card to thank them for the times I was able to share with them when I was dating their son and to hope that maybe I can see them all sometime in the future. To me sending a card is not a bad thing, it isnt as though the breakup is between the parents and I. Just as long as the card is neutral, I dont see anything wrong with it.

[Juha]

I can understand how you want to send soemthing to the family but just let it go...

 

Think of her family as an extension of her and when she broke with you it included them also...

 

Sorry to say this but it will be easier if you do it this way. believe me...

 

Hope you had a good turkey day...

 

Just let it go, icluding her family....

[darkblue]

Do they really mean all that to you?

Did her family really have such a positive impact on your life?

[Jut]

Why do you want to do this? Its going to show that you are needy and trying a different way to get your exs attention. The ex's family like your ex was in the past. Rememeber good times and move on, dont delve on them and try to replay them.

[chaos]

Yeah, they really did have a positive impact on me. All I really want to do is say goodbye to them and let them know what they meant to me. It has nothing to do with getting the ex's attention. In fact, I hope she doesn't see it because I'm sure that's how she'll take it if she does. It's over between us, I don't want her back, nor do I want anything to do with her again. But she has a great family and I never got to tell them that. Like I said in the letter, I thought of them like my own family... I just want to wish them well.

[darkblue]

Then go for it, chaos.

Let it be a thank-you and well-wishes to those who made you realize things about yourself, and your life.

 

I see no reason why not.

Take care.

[bsp_kjm]

her family did nothing bad to you. i say send the card.

[Hawk]

Chaos - what did you decide to do about the card. With the exception of the ex's brother have had no contact with the rest of the family, and I must say that the contact I had with him set me back a fair bit in the recovery process.

[chaos]

I don't know... I figure it'll be a couple weeks til I send it anyway, if I send it. I don't want contact with them, I just want to say goodbye to these people I grew to care for. That's all. I don't want to see them or talk to them, I'm not hoping they'll call me or that my ex will see it and go "aww, how sweet" and want me back. I've no alterior motives or expectations whatsoever.

[w_maxell]

Just send a card wishing and thanking them. A short message would be more appropriate that the one that you want to send.

[darkblue]

I disagree with maxell. I think what you wrote perfectly summed up what they mean[t] to you.

[Da5id]

Sorry man,

 

But I have to agree with the others here. You will get a chance to say these things later if they are still important.

 

But I doubt you're really in a place right now to truly see the difference between your attachment and feelings for your ex, and how they overlap into your attachment and feelings for her family.

 

In the long run, they are not going to hate you for not saying goodbye... and at the end of all this, when you're healed, if you feel the same way, you'll be able to do something about it... but it will be about THEM and you, and will not have all the pain of your loss with your ex threaded through it.