Why is my life a joke?

[The_Vacancy]

Okay before I say anything else, I will say that I have dealt with depression before and I finally got over it after a reasonable period. However, just lately I have been really depressed to the point where I am thinking up ways about how I will kill myself.

 

The reason for this is school. Alot of people can deal with the constant work and all the pages and pages of useless dribble, alot of people can deal with childish gossiping and swearing and arguments but I dont cope with it well. I am falling behind in Maths, Science, Society and Environment, Art and my best subject - English - I recently got a below average on my report card. I used to be so smart and I dont know how I suddenly became such a dumb person. Also with the constant childish secret gossiping, its too hard.

 

I am to the point where I have had to skip school days on purpose just because I can't handle anymore of it. I am either sitting their bowing up to my teacher, begging for no more homework or sitting on the sidelines hoping that someone doesnt say another thing to me. Every group pretty much has a core individual that they joke about towards, like a runt. I am that person, all of the negative jokes and comments are chucked my way and I dont do anything about it. I put up with everyone else and I dont do anything else, I know that if I open my mouth chances are - I will have to pay for it.

 

Why do certain people get such a harsh life rather then others? You get some people living the high life, smiling and laughing and then you get others that sit there in the rain, trying to keep up. I thought that I was over this but obviously not. I guess my one biggest regret was not seeking help, I didnt tell my parents properly, no councelling or proffessional assistance, I just kept them secret. I decided to ignore it however today I was humiliated, sworn at and hit in the head. Why do some people have to get treated like that? I am sick to death of morons thinking that they can overrule and own others. Its scary that I have to wake up and forfit to the world or fake an illness, think of a harmless way to die and hide in my room. I dont want to have to do that but it seems like God gave me no choice.

 

My question is exactly that, why do I and I am sure other people, have to put up with all of the criticism and comments and actions from everyone else?

[Dismember_05]

You got one problem man, you gotta Stand up for yourself, you are always low because you let people get to you. If someone swears at you fight back, if someone hits you- hit back, its not about whether you can win, it's about showing whoever it is you dont give a damn who they are and you wont take it anymore.

 

Trust me man, i used to be some shy lonely kid at school, all it takes is abit of confidence and standing up for yourslef no matter what the situation.

 

btw if you're in sydney man, send me a pm. come and teach the @#$%ers who did it a lesson.

[darkblue]

Some people are just so ignorant, and get some sort of a buzz out of other's misery.

 

think of a harmless way to die

There is no harmless way to die.

Not for you, or anyone else.

If you did die - and even you thought it was painless - think about how your family and friends would feel.

 

You say that your biggest regret was not seeking help.

However, regrets are useless - so do something about it.

Seek help this time and overcome your demons with help.

 

PM me if you want to talk.

Take care.

[teacup]

if you forfeit your life......you will have lost it due to a bunch of worthless, ignorant, shallow, stupid fools and bullies. these people are not worth a drop of blood.....they have no character and no decency.

[sparticuss]

Nice pep talk dismember but it doesn't work that way.

 

For instance if you do head over to teach the @#$%ers who did it a lesson they will be the first to go howling to the cops.

They are bullies and like all bullies they are gutless. They hide behind their gangs, and , if they can't get enough support from the gangs, they go find another gang, be that principal, cops, or whatever.

 

Wanna talk about it some more?. PM me.

 

You got one problem man, you gotta Stand up for yourself, you are always low because you let people get to you. If someone swears at you fight back, if someone hits you- hit back, its not about whether you can win, it's about showing whoever it is you dont give a damn who they are and you wont take it anymore.

 

Trust me man, i used to be some shy lonely kid at school, all it takes is abit of confidence and standing up for yourslef no matter what the situation.

 

btw if you're in sydney man, send me a pm. come and teach the @#$%ers who did it a lesson.

[Kamue]

FallBack, i know exactly how you feel. i was bullied and picked on for a good portion of my school career. what helps though, is you need to outwit them. i can tell by the way you ellequently wrote your thread that your a smart kid. next time hey bullie you, calmy and sternly ask 'why are you doing this?' try not to get emotional. if they answer, keep asking them why they do any of it. if they say 'well, your a loser' or anything like that, question why they think so. finally, they will probably come to a pathetic reason why they bully you. it will probably be a stupid answer, but if you keep calm, it will be more intimidating than if you threaten them or get angry at them. out smart them. they have no reason to pick on you, and you can make them realize that. tell them they are only bullying you because they are looking for someone that wont stand up for themselves, and make themselves feel good and strong. they are fighting unfair, but they probably know if they pick on someone tougher than them, they will get thier butts kicked.

i hope that helps, it always has for me. if someone told me i was a loser i asked them why and they generally answered with something dumb like 'because' than you can just laugh at them and walk away. that drives people nuts!! a good line for me was 'think whatever you must to make yourself happy' than i giggled and i was gone. another good line for me was '... ... okay ...?' kinda like, what are you getting at and i dont care either way.

please be careful though, i dont know the full extent to thier anger and i dont want you to get hurt. try confiding in a teacher or maybe the principal.

you can also pm me any time you like, darlin. i hope this helps, but please dont hurt yourself. just remember, these kids are ignorant and petty and those are the people you never want to win.

we're all here for ya if you need anything

the best of luck!!!

[blueangel]

I've been through exactly what you have, but hey, the good thing about you is that you DO want to keep trying. Remember that this life is short and all things are temporary. The most important thing is your happiness.

 

As for school, slow down and evaluate the situation. Do one thing at a time. Only set mini goals. The big ones will take care of themselves. Study and know your material- but dont overwhelm yourself. Eat and get enough sleep. Realize that this is not the end of the world. Nothing is (unless it actually is lol)

 

I don't think things will turn to the better until you see what is already good and what things you have about you and your character and your life that are special- what is already good about you. Stop with your expectations and constant comparisons. They are a dead end. In truth, you are the only one blocking yourself

 

There is never a reason to give up. It's Christmas. Take a load off. take away distractions and recenter with yourself. Go outside and see the snow. There is more out there than just school- your grades nor your social status define you. You define you. See what's already good.

 

There are some out there who have chosen to fail. I know you feel at the edge, but you are far from it. You just have to choose to see it that way

 

Most of ALL, talk to someone about it- someone you know and trust. Maybe a school guidance conselour even. Get your feelings out and realize there is actually still a lot of hope in your situation. Release it and let it go. There is nothing you have to be.

[sweeter]

Fallback I think the first thing you should do is not let the people bullying you know that it is affecting you in such a harsh way. I used to be the person who bullied poeple. The reason I did it mainly was to get a reaction. If they don't get the reaction they are used to or looking for they will move on. Remember too that this is just the beginning of your life and that things do and will change for you. When you are in school and young it may feel like the whole world is caving in but this is just one small part of the life you are intended to live. I also was a very smart kid who watched my whole life go down the tube because I didn't know how to deal with life. My grades dropped and I never did finish school until later on. That can also have a devastating affect on you when the life your used to changes. Just hang in there and maybe look into finding someone to talk to. The help is there you just need to seek it out and find it and use it.

[Darketernal]

You are the steps you take, and Life is what you make of it, choices create realities, what you have to understand is that nothing in the universe can make you happy exept love. And that the meaning of life is to love and to help other people. This way you can understand that school is a society imposed skil but can be thrown into the wind because it isn't that important at all. What always mattered was that what lied in your inner possesion , and what matters in life is the personal condition that you are currently in. There is a beter way of life.

 

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