ex contacted me

[happy1975]

Well it was a surprised that my ex contacted me after a couple of weeks of no contact. She was just basically asking if she got any mail in the house since we lived together for 8 years. I was cool about it and told her yes so she asked to stop by to pick it up i said fine. But now as soon as I got home what i did was put her mail in a bag and put it ouside by the door so that way she does not need to ring my bell to get it I feel its best so i don't see her i have been feeling really good lately after 6 weeks of the breakup. I was actually battling inside me either to put it outside or not because i don't want it seem mean but it will show her that i don't care if i see her or not i hope i did the right thing.

[darkblue]

How do you feel about what you did?

Are you glad you did not have to see her, or do you feel guilty?

[fromfaraway]

happy 1975,

 

This does seem mean. I would not do that!

[lady00]

I think what you did is fine. If it still hurts you to see her then you should not have to deal with it. I think its perfectly fair for you to watch out for your feelings. We all need space to heal from breakups.

[Da5id]

Without being outright vicious, the only persons feelings you should be concentrating on are your own.

 

I can pretty much promise you, that seeing her would only create pain and send you back a few paces in your healing process. I'm speaking of course from my own experience... and as hard as it is, maintaining NC is important.

 

In the future, you might even want to simply bundle her mail and forward it to her new address.

 

I know how hard it is to want to be "nice" but it's extremely easy to manipulate yourself into a situation where the next thing you know you are waking up next to your ex... and they are still your ex. Talk about going back to square one!

 

I did it... and you know what... it HURTS. I got double breakups!!! After nearly 4 months of NC we tried to "work it out" and broke it off again 3 months later. I promise.... it sucks.

 

Stick to your guns!!! Leave the mail and go out with friends if you have to!

[Hawk]

Trust me - you did the right thing. I am right in the middle of breaking up with my partner of 7 years, and for financial reasons we are both still living in our house.

 

Every time I have to go home and see her again it like ripping the scab off an open sore. I still love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I have been given the "I love you but am not in love with you." I know there is nothing I can do about that and spent a huge amount of time in trying to convince her that I love her - but the point is she knows that but it is not what she wants anymore.

 

How do I cope? I try to stay out of the house as much as I can when I know she is going to be there, but it is hard. Right now I am sitting at work because she told me she has been invited out to dinner tonight and I don't want to be there when she leaves - the obvious question is dinner with who?

 

So, it is all about you and how best you cope with it - and if not seeing the other person is best for you then so be it. All I know is that I am living in purgatroy, because as much as I know I have to move on, our circumstnce makes it impossible.