thegirlfriend Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 My bf and I sort of broke up after a fight, but apparently we still hav a lot of feelings for each other. At least I really love him in spite of everything he has done to me. So everytime we talk on the phone now we are sort of talking about getting back together. But just a minute ago he called and said that he could blackmail me. The thing is we did this porn together. And because of a stupid mistake he's got ALL the email addresses of ALL my friends. He threatened to send this porn to all my friends if I didn't get back together with him. HELP!!! What can I do??? I'm totally confused.... I really like him, but somebody who would do something like this... Link to comment
steff Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 do u have any prof of thr blackmail, i think for things like that you can go to the police about it.. i think dont hold me to it.... just tell ur friends the threat, and if they get an e-mail from him not to open it. Link to comment
DN Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 Do you think he really meant it or was it maybe a joke? Link to comment
annie24 Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 Ok, well say that you didn't get back with him, and that he really did send the porn. People would open their e-mail inbox like, "what!?!!?" And then they would contact you, you would tell them what happened, and then you know what? He'd be the one who would look bad, not you. Link to comment
JukeBox Hero Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 I think I can understand what your going through. As for the comment about going to the police, I wouldnt advise it. This may jsut be my opinion. I say this *Only* if you are still in school. Making a "porn" isn't legal by anyone under 18 by my knowledge..lol. I could be wrong, and getting police involved would cause a chain-reaction of rumours and would sacrifice your reputation. My advice is that you jsut talk to him about it. Tell him hw you feel. If you speak to him in a calm voice and tell him what your thinking, he'll probably or I'm hoping will respond in a cool matter, and possibly make it an option to work things out. I really see all of this as a big mis-understanding. As a guy, I'll admit that we often find it diffcult to share how we feel. Sometimes we try but it jsut comes out all wrong. I think this guy still cares for you, and though it may appear as a threat, he obviously cares for you so much, that he is neglecting to see the consequences as long as he can get you back. I jsut hope things work out for you. Good luck and God Bless.. Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 Annie24 is right... if he did send it. He'd end up looking bad. You'd have a momentary.. But thats it. Do you really want a BF whose going to blackmail you that way???? I'd tell him to go ahead and send it... call his bluff.. so that all your friends see what a wee wittle willie he has and is. Link to comment
thegirlfriend Posted November 3, 2005 Author Share Posted November 3, 2005 I know he would be the jerk if he did it, but then all my friends would know what my pu... looks like. The porn is REALLY explicit. It would be soooo embarrassing for me.... And telling my friends not to open it... If a friend told me not to open an attachement I would still do it just because I'm curious.. I think most people would... Link to comment
RandomAdvisor Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 HELP!!! What can I do??? I'm totally confused.... I really like him, but somebody who would do something like this... Is someone you should never get back together with. You're in a tight spot here. Legally I'm not sure what you can do. But if you think he's serious about it, I would consult a lawyer. Even if there's nothing you can really do in court, perhaps a threatening letter from a lawyer ordering him to cease and desist - or expensive lawsuits will follow of course - will be enough to get him to stop. Even if everything the letter says is BS, he'd have to get his own lawyer to find it out. Lawyers cost money. The cost benefit analysis says he wont do it. And besides, by getting legal help you're proving there is no way you will get back together with him. The lawyer will cost you some money, but it's well worth it I think. And in future, don't make any more sex tapes. Link to comment
thegirlfriend Posted November 3, 2005 Author Share Posted November 3, 2005 btw: I'm 28, so no legal age problems here Link to comment
babycristy456 Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 This guy sounds psycho and manipulative. Tell all your friends about this email and to delete it if they get it. They will understand. As for your parents, tell them as well. The thing is, if he ever gets mad at you in the future, he will use this against you again. You should tell him, "Does it satisfy you to FORCE me to be with you? My good friend had a situation like that, but a bit different. She was married to this guy that would cheat on her left and right. She eventually left him. However, she made a mistake one night of sleeping with him again. However, he recorded the whole things without her knowing it. Of course she regreted sleeping with him and told him that she did not want to be with him anymore. He threatened her with the tape and she thought he was just bluffing so he sent it to her parents. Of course the parents were very disturbed by this, but they knew the ex did it to upset them. So the parents did not get mad at the daughter. Instead, they supported her bc they knew how hurt she was bc of it. Your parents and family will be the same with you. This guy will look bad, not you. Don't be with a guy bc he forces you into it. THis guy is pathetic, if you ask me! Link to comment
redandblack Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 babycristy456 hit the nail right on the head. If these friends are true friends, then they won't look at it or truly care about it. Talk to them about it, they will probably sympathize with you. I would also do what other posters have suggested--talk to him calmly about it when he is in a calm mood. Don't attack him or accuse him. Instead, just tell him how you feel. I feel bad for you though. This is a crappy situation to be in, more so for the girl involved thanks to societal sex roles. Link to comment
thegirlfriend Posted November 3, 2005 Author Share Posted November 3, 2005 The thing is, this porn is as explicit as it gets. 50 % of it is my pu.... in close up... We didn't just tape us having sex, we made a PORN!!!! And the addresses he's got: it's not just friends, it's people I just know, ex-boyfriends, class mates, colleagues... This is serious!!! Link to comment
annie24 Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 well - contact a lawyer, see what they say. I don't see any point in trying to deal with him. He sounds like a snake. Not someone to negotiate with. If I got a pictures like that in my inbox, I would be shocked, but then I would feel a great deal of sympathy towards the woman, and I would write back to the guy with a piece of my mind! Link to comment
RandomAdvisor Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 And the addresses he's got: it's not just friends, it's people I just know, ex-boyfriends, class mates, colleagues... This is serious!!! Hire a lawyer and discuss it with them. I'm pretty sure a threatening legal letter will do the trick. Unless your ex is a lawyer himself. Link to comment
thegirlfriend Posted November 3, 2005 Author Share Posted November 3, 2005 Thank you so much for all your sympathy, that really helps Yeah, people might see what I would never want them to see but then again, they'll forget... Link to comment
redandblack Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 Wow, that's tough. I doubt any of the respectable people would watch more than 1 second of it. Afterwards, as posted above, your friends would probably feel very sympathetic toward you. The lawyer letter is also a good idea, it could scare him. However, I would try to talk to him about it then, just ignore him for... ever? This guy sounds too deceitful to be around. Link to comment
babycristy456 Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 Everyone knows you have a pu***. For those that don't, now they will know. A pu*** is something that every woman has, it won't be a surprise to them. When your friends realize that its your pu*** they will probably be so grossed out that they will turn it off. I know if it was me seeing porn and suddenly realizing it was my friends, I would be like ewwww! and thats it. Then you explain to them, and then theyll laugh, feel sorry for you and move on. Hate to say it, but sometimes getting yourself into those situations (letting a guy keep a tape of porn with you in it) lead to disasters. Ive learned that no matter how much you think you know someone, they can always surprise you with their "other side" Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 Babychristy is right... everyone has one.. you are a woman after all. If he sends it.. you may be a little embarrassed. But hold your head high and you stand by your principles. Didn't realize you were 28. I thought we were talking HS here. And when you get down to it.. what he's doing is very HS and very immature. What a creep. You are so much better without him. Babychristy also hit the nail on the head. Don't ever think you know them well.. because on a break.. people can turn into the most unrecognizable slime buckets you wonder why you never saw it before. Go see a lawyer. I'm sure this situation is not unique. BTW... having a tape floating around.. OMG.. I know how you may feel. I made sure I personally broke, stomped on...and torched ours. Else I am sure.. I'd be going through the same blackmail scenario you are. Chin up GF... you'll be ok. And its probably the most beautiful PU*** in the world.. so be happy you have one. Womens bodies are so much more artistic and beautiful then mens are. No matter our body shape. I'd still call his bluff.. and tell him to enjoy the tape. Because its likely to be the last one he's going to see up close for a long while. And then talk to him calmly.. rationally.. and just tell him how you feel. Ask for the tape back.. and then YOU both burn it. Link to comment
thegirlfriend Posted November 3, 2005 Author Share Posted November 3, 2005 it's not a tape, its on his computer hard drive... Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 I dont think that you want to give in to this kind of behavior regardless of the blackmail that he has on you, you cant give in. This only shows him that he can manipulate you and gives him incentive to do it again. You could pursue legal matters, consult an attorney if you are that worried about it. Link to comment
sibling295 Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 jesus - can you somehow get into his place and friggin take the computer or something????? Maybe tell the police that the computer is your and go in and get it !!! Link to comment
L8RISER Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 Blackmail him back! Get him to say what he's going to do, and tape the whole thing. Build up evidence against him. Then let him know it! If he takes you down, he's going with you. Link to comment
redandblack Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 I wouldn't stoop to his level. It would only be doing the same immature and horrible thing he is doing. Fighting fire with fire only leads to a bigger fire. Link to comment
L8RISER Posted November 4, 2005 Share Posted November 4, 2005 It's not stooping to his level, it's developng a case against him. What if he send out the pictures by anonymous email? Then it's her word against his. Link to comment
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