I can't take much more.

[randmanq]

Hmm, it's probaly been a month since the break up with my old girlfriend sam. We went out for almost a year. We spent so much time together, I never knew a stupid kid like me could ever get a perfect girl like that, or even be that happy. I thought I was doing ok, until probaly about a week ago. I saw her at this battle of the bands thing in town, and ever since then I couldn't stop feeling empty. I've cried to many times now, I am as I write this right now. Every single memory is being replayed in my mind over and over again and I can't even get out of the house anymore, my social life is pretty much gone.... all I do now is sit in my bedroom listening to music and thinking of her. And the worst part is.. is that I am with someone else too. She is away right now so she doesn't know. She's a great girl and I like her too but I just want to move on. Sam is so much better, she probaly doesn't even think of me anymore. I often think of suicide now, she was my everything and it all got tooken away and now I have nothing. My friends are all away so I practicaly have no one to run to right now. I just want this feeling to go away, and never come back.

[smiles314]

Well, im sorry to hear you feel like that. But i was there too. may i ask why you 2 broke up? Do you guys talk at all anymore? Maybe you should see if she would be up to hanging out just as friends, to catch up and see how u 2 r doing. NOt like pour ur heart out to her, but to be friendly. I do not think its a good idea to be with someone else so soon after you 2 broke up, esp if you have so much still burning inside from this girl. Its obvious. You need to heal and get over her ex before you can move on with another relationship.. ITs not fair to you and not fair to your partner. You need some peace of mind. Is it possible she still thinks about you? Did she want teh break up? I know how it feels to be lonely..but its important that you go out as much as possible.. Even if its for a run. Do anything to escape. You need to empty your mind. Keep as busy as possible. Dont listen to music and do nothing..It will make you feel a lot worse. It is important to allow yourself some grieving time , and dont be afraid to cry it will help. BUt if you feel like you cant stop crying, i suggest working out, or just getting out. It really helps ease your mind. I know its the last thing you want to do. I know im not much help but im just trying to throw out suggestions...

 

Feel better!

[SwingFox]

Hello randmanq,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us for seeking support and advice. I am sorry to hear that you're not doing so well at the moment. I understand that you have been in love with a young woman and that you broke up.

 

A break up is always very difficult. Hearts are being broken and feelings are being hurt. There are also feelings of disappointment. It needs a certain time to have everything healed. It won't happen overnight, especially when you have been with each other a little longer.

 

I don't have much advice for you. I wish you strength and hope that you will heal some time soon again. Good luck ...

 

~ SwingFox ~

[randmanq]

I'll try to get out more. We broke up because she didn't feel like being with me anymore, and there's not much chance of us catching up together... ever since the break up she's cut me out of her life and made my life even more misserable, it's pretty verbal abusive.

[crystalkylin]

Well, i don't have quite alot of advise for you but i think my quote below might help you. It asks you not to take life to seriously as you will only get hurt, and to take life a little seriously so you can enjoy. So, i think you should get suicide out of your way.

 

Anyway, Best of luck.

[Scooter]

Hi randmanq,

 

I know exactly where you're coming from. My girlfriend spilt up with me about 6 months because basically she didn't want to be with me anymore. To cut a long story short she was fed up of waiting around. She was gorgeous too and sometimes I used to pinch myself that I managed to get such a beautiful girl. To say I was devastated when she left is an understatement and to make matters worse I found out that she was with somebody else almost immediately. Four years down the pan. What hurt me the most is she was so adamant it wouldn't work and there was no point talking because her mind was made up. I kept kidding myself that she'd call but she hasn't. How can she just disregard the last 4 years of her life and move onto someone new so quickly? That has been hard to accept. How can someone who supposedly loves you so much, treat you so mean? I keep replaying all the times we had in my head and what went wrong and what I should have done about it but I've come to realise that this is never going to get her back. I would love her to call me up and say come back but I know this is never going to happen. I too like you hit rock bottom, not wanting to do anything or see anybody. I tried a couple of dates but kept comparing them with my ex. As you can imagine I didn't see these people many times after that.

 

I tried to analyze the relationship so many times and I've come to the conclusion – and so many of my friends have said this, – if it's meant to be it will be. I tried to blame myself for so many things and how "I" could have improved the relationship but it takes two to tango. Was your ex as perfect as you think? Were you completely satisfied with the relationship? I can honestly answer those questions now and say "no".

 

My advice to you would be take time to grieve. Cry your heart out if you have to. I certainly have. Suicide is not the answer. Yes your pain will go but what about the pain you will inflict on your family? No girl is worth taking your life. I still get upset every now and again, even after 6 months but I feel much better than I did then. Time is a healer. That's a fact. Accept that it's over and try and move on. Easier said than done I know. Don't contact them either. I've made that mistake and made matters a lot worse. If she calls you in the future make sure you are ready and that you want her back for who she is, not what she is – someone to fill that gaping whole in your heart.

 

When the right person comes along I will be better prepared for it. I know what I want from someone and sometimes good looks aren't enough. This experience as taught me so much about myself as well.

 

Things will get easier. I never thought I'd hear myself say that. Keep yourself occupied and don't dwell on the situation. Be strong and you'll get there.

 

Good Luck.

[Chrisser]

Hi randmanq,

 

I would like to start by saying that the thought of suicide is not an option. There is so much out there to be discovered and no human in this situation is worth you life. I am going through a break of of my own and have found that there is nothing that will really help except time although there are things that can distract your pain and channel it into something positive. If I were you I would pick up books and read. Learn the art of loving yourself first and think positive thoughts always. We don't know how powerful the mind is and it is possible to think thoughts that will make us happy. Take care of yourself, and don't worry about who she is with or if she will call and if you find yourself doing that quickly change the thoughts in you mind. It's hard to do and it probably seems weird but all things that are different or difficult seem a little off. Ask yourself if you truly love yourself and if not go to your local book store and ask the people for books that will teach you to love yourself. One thing that I have learned is that I will never be able to find love, true love unless I love myself and who I am first. Once you do you won't believe the people and things that will start to happen to you. I for example have many insecurities and fears about abandonment, my abillty to love others without fear and so on and have found that the women that I always end up in realationships with are the same type of people that need me as I need them and then it all ends up coming to an end when they realize that they need to work on themselves. My problem is that I never thought that I needed the work so I would end up in the same situation over and over again, heartbroken. I will suggest some books that would be great for anyone to read and that have truly help me start to become the man that I want to be. The first one is "The saint, the surfer and the CEO" written by Robert Sharma and another by the same author is "The Monk who sold his Ferrari" read these books and really listed to the messages and I promise you it will make you feel better. If you would like to send me a private email message at any time feel free. Best of luck I will be thinking of you. chris.mead@sympatico.ca