feeling down.

[On The Road]

so i've been feeling extremely lonely and just plain alone lately. and thats really weird considering its not like i've been sitting at home doing nothing, i've been going out with my friends and having an ok time. but it seems that all my friendships consist of are having fun and thats pretty much it. i have one really good friend but lately i have felt that she hasn't really been there for me. we have been getting in fights over stupid things.

 

maybe im just dealing with abandonment issues. i haven't felt like myself lately and im not sure how to deal with it. i haven't had much luck with sleeping either. i wake up and my eyes are completely sunken in.

 

my heart really isn't feeling up to confronting my friend over how i feel or anyone for that matter. i just want to get through this. and i know why i feel this way....

 

my biological mother stopped by for a visit after 11 years and i decided not to see her.

 

my brother was almost put in jail.

 

i just don't know how to get over it. i don't want to feel this way forever. because this isn't the first time i've fallen into a plunge. i just don't want to get too far gone like the last time. and don't get me wrong, im somewhat happy to be where i am, i just dont know where im going.

 

any coping suggestions?

[Eowyn]

We never know where we are going, and it is in this obsessive want for knnowlegge of our own path and future that causes us to miss out on opportunities. Focus on whats good in your life, and be gratefull for those things. Its normal to feel abandoned in your situation with your mother, and its ok to be worried about your brother. Just hang in there and focus on ebing the best friend/student/whatever you can be. The abandonment issues will likely crop uo from time to time in your life and counseling seems the only solution. Have you considered seeing a professional? It must have been stressfull having your biological mother trying to reach you.