Is it normal for women to get randomly approached in public?

[smallworld]

Hey Sweetheart, I'm shy, asian, and not all that pretty. I haven't been hit on all that often by strangers, but when I have been I've noticed it tends to be on days where I'm in an extremely good mood and I don't give a darn what anyone thinks. On those days I'm playful and more apt to flirt and laugh, which translates into fun and "approachable" in other people's eyes.

 

The funny thing is that usually my "hot to trot" days are ones where I looked my absolute worst: wild, uncontrollable frizzy hair, old tshirts, and weird clunky shoes. Believe me, I don't get it either. :silly:

[sweetheart230]

Thanks...I was starting to feel kinda bad about myself. But I guess thinking back, when I'm happiest and in a good mood is when guys are more likely to show interest. You are right.

[melrich]

Hey,

 

I am not talking about guys yelling at you from a car...who wants that. I thought you meant by approach someone coming up to you and trying to strike up a conversation?

 

It doesn't happen all that much ...it is occasional and I think from my observations it tends to happen when you are in a good m0od and you look approachable. Don't focus on this being about what you look like, I don't think it has much to do with that at all unless you are just looking for guys to be shouting things at you...which I would have thought would be totally demeaning.

 

I mean if you really want that just wear a totally short skirt or pair of shorts and low cut top...you'll get plenty of attention. Or as Diggity says, go to a niteclub or bar...guys will always approach you there.

[Msnak]

When I get approached, I'm not flirting, not smiling, usually look like I rolled out of bed and I'm looking aloof. I'm not making eye contact and I walk really fast. I don't know why I get approached when it happens!

 

When I get dolled up I get very few looks from guys, but no one comes near me and I go home wondering why I had no luck.

 

QUOTE:

 

The funny thing is that usually my "hot to trot" days are ones where I looked my absolute worst: wild, uncontrollable frizzy hair, old tshirts, and weird clunky shoes.

 

--Too funny!

[sweetheart230]

I don't want that kind of attention. I find that demeaning as well. Its just that all these women seemed to keep saying that it is a normal occurrence to be approached by men. As I said, I'm breaking free of a very bad relationship- one where my self esteem was trampled on. I was just trying to find out why tons of men were interested in these women, but not in me. I was looking for answers as to what I can do to be as approachable as other women, but now I just kinda feel bad- as if I'm lacking and my ex is right.

 

The nightclub thing isn't really my scene.

 

But you give good advice. It was very helpful. Thank you.

[melrich]

I don't know that it is normal but it does happen. But as I keep saying it is less to do with what you look like than the vibes you give off. If your persona says "don't come anywhere near me if you value your gonads" guys are going to respect that message.

 

If it says "i'm a fun girl who loves meeting people and having a chat" ...that's what you'll get.

[Msnak]

I was in the mall last week and the weirdest thing was said. Two guys were talking and I heard one of them say, "you'll find someone." Then one looked up and said to me as I walked by, "Hey, she doesn't have a ring on. Go after her!"

 

Ugh! I rolled my eyes after I was out of their eye sight.

 

Trust me, Sweetheart230, don't let what ANY guy says to you have too much weight. You have to recognize your beauty and definitely walk away from anyone who doesn't treat you like the queen each woman is. You'll find a great guy! Unfortunately we sometimes encounter the wrong guys along the way.

 

Melrich, I think some guys ignore vibes! That would explain the rude treatment some women get. (And vice-versa!)

[melrich]

Melrich, I think some guys ignore vibes!

 

Oh yeah I agree.

[sweetheart230]

Thanks again- like I said, I'm just trying to move on. I appreciate all your advice!

[Dating Coach]

Yeah, I'm not that thin. But I have a good body. I get guys shouting out at me a lot from their car.

 

So what does she do differently that guys approach her?

 

She doesn't do anything. She doesn't dress trashy, she's just just a friendly catholic girl. I think it has to do with her being a tiny girl with big blonde hair. Even guys who generally like women with darker hair (like me) tend to notice the blondes much easier. They stand out more I guess. Almost all of my top ten most beautiful women in the world would be brunettes, but if they all stood in a crowd it would be easier to notice the blondes. At least that's what I think.