This girl is driving me crazy!

[sharp1184]

HELP! I need some help on this one. A particular girl I know that I've been after for a while now is driving me nuts. I've been flirting with her for months now, probably since August. Even in September, I blotched a campaign to get her to go on a date with me--I tried to ask her out, but there were a lot of people around and I didn't want to create awkwardness for either of us, so instead of asking if she'd go out to this particular event "with me", I just asked her if she wanted to go. Her response was "maybe someday"...as in she doesn't really know whether I was asking her out, or if I was just trying to make conversation.

 

I know I screwed up, but she's got to know that I'm interested in her by now, right? Anyway, when I first met her, the first thing I noticed is she's incredibly shy. Even now, she still doesn't call me by my first name--or any name, sort of like she just refers to me as "you".

 

Ok so I'm trying to get her to like me, I'm talking to her, asking her questions, blah blah blah. I always smiled at her, looked her in the eye, and she always did the same back to me, but now she seems like she's getting shy again. All last week, she barely said hello. It seemed like she was hiding from me, when there were more than enough opportunities for her to come over to me and start talking. This got me really mad because I thought I was making progress.

 

So this week, I decided I was going to beat her at her own game. I was going to play hard to get, and I thought if she was interested in me, she'd come to me and at least start a conversation, and have her at least wonder why I've stopped talking to her. Nothing. But now I'm trying to be cold like she's been for a while, and now she's smiling at me and trying to be "somewhat" friendly again. How am I supposed to play hard to get when one week she ignores me and the next week she's all smiles? Is this chick interested or just playing games? What is she doing??? She's driving me crazy!!! And what would you guys recommend I do about already trying to ask her out and crashing like a proverbial "led zeppelin"? I really don't want to ask her out again... I don't want to press the issue if "maybe someday" means I'm not interested. Thanks for any help you can give.

[PersonalMe]

well, i can only tell u a few things, im kinda shy but anyone who knows me will probably tell u the absolute opposite. but i can assure u that i am WAY shier with a guy i really like, its just pressure for me to act perfect, so that the guy will like me. i really dont know what to tell u about this girl though, since i dont know her at all, it could be 2 things:

1. she likes u alot, shes just too shy to talk to u, and when u didnt talk to her she was probably sad and thats y she didnt talk to u or even smile

2. she doesnt like u at all, and shy ppl tend to be nice, so by smiling shes just trying to be nice

so those r 2 really different answers...but it could be either one. i say talk to her, just one day be like hey, ur cute bla bla or u knwo what! write her a letter and leave it somewhere she will see it. just soemthing really short, ur cute, i like u, hope we can talk later or something. or talk to one of her friends! that always works! just to at least find out if the girl knows who u r!! u need some kind of information!

[Beec]

Assume her behavior has something do with how she feels. When she was not giving you attention, she was not feeling attracted to you. When she is giving you attention, she is feeling attraction for you or at least seeking the attention she had been getting.

 

If we look at your behavior, she knew how you felt, she knew and you took a long time to ask her out, but you still keep giving her attention, etc. You were chasing her and that was not attractive. When you removed your attention, you were being aloof, independent, and that is attractive.

 

People are attracted to the people that give them something they want or need, while being independent and loof, not clingy or needy.

 

Also, courtship is like a dance. We need to give a little then let the other person give us some, then we can give them more.

 

Is it a mind game? Yes, it is, but she is probably not consciously trying to play you. She is only acting on how she felt. Your attention at first was nice, then you gave her too much and asked for some of hers, then when you did not ask for it and acted aloof, she wanted yours and gave you some.

 

Give her some, then stop, let her give you some. Sooner or later, when you have given her some, move to where she can find you while you are alone, let her come and look for you and seek your attention, then give her some and ask her out.

[Caterina]

People are attracted to the people that give them something they want or need, while being independent and loof, not clingy or needy.

 

I really like that.

[sharp1184]

Thanks for all your help everyone. I still don't consider myself any closer than before, but I think I'm going to try to ask her out again tomorrow. She's been far more friendly this week (still won't start conversations) but I can't stand this anymore and I need to move on this. I've got to see if I've been wasting my time all this while or not.

 

Can anyone give me some last-minute advice on how to do this without making anything uncomforatble for either of us? I feel like I'm pressing the issue (since I sort of already asked her out before). I'm not so afraid of asking as much as I'm fearing her reaction. I'm thinking..."do you have any interesting plans for the weekend?" ...her answers are usually short "yes" / "no" answers. So if it is no, I'll go on to somehow ask if she wants to hang out with me.

 

Oh God this isn't going to be easy. Anyone with any last minute pointers??? Thanks