2 problems alot of guys have

[SkyFire]

Im going to get straight to the point.

 

Men need to stop worshipping women and sex so much, and need to start getting their lives straight.

 

Some guys make it their life's purpose. Some guys are depressed because they've never had a girlfriend in their life, and some guys will worship women just because they have a vagina.

 

Im getting sick of this. It is PATHETIC to watch some of my male friends worship girls like sex and hookups are the most glorious thing that can ever happen to a man.

 

Reality check; They aren't. Sex is NOTHING compared to having real accomplishments and following through with your goals. Having women is good, sure. But it's just the icing on the cake (the cake being your life).

 

Men who do not act like men.

 

Women are attracted to guys who LOOK AND ACT LIKE GUYS. Period. MASCULINITY. They are attracted to DOMINANCE. This is why they go for jerks rather than nice guys.

 

A Man isn't a dumb ape-like creature that sits on his behind all day, watches sports and drinks beer.

 

Being a man means:

 

-Putting his LIFE and his GOALS before women

-Doing what NEEDS to be done; acting on LOGIC rather than EMOTION

-Having WILL POWER, to complete your goals and push on

-Having CONFIDENCE, being sure of yourself, not picking on those who are weaker

-Having SELF RESPECT, standing up for yourself and your loved ones

-Not being afraid to have your own ideals and be your own person, and be willing to fight to defend them

-To be willing to take risks in life for a greater outcome

-Not COMPLAINING, rather acting and fixing the problem

-Being in good physical shape

-Knowing what you want and how to get it

-Having a PASSION in life

-Knowing women love sex as much as men do, and not being scared to admit it

-Having perserverance; "If youre going through hell, keep going"

-Looking at life seriously; Acting like a MAN, not a little boy.

 

TESTOSTARONE. The hormone that makes men work. Having an increased level of testostarone will naturally make you act and look more masculine. Thus, you will be more successful and more attractive to the ladies.

 

Ways of increasing it are;

 

-Weight lifting

-Physical activity and strain; sports, hiking, etc.

-Facing fear

-Eating lean meats, eating healthy in general

-Cutting down on masturbation

 

How both of those things add up

 

Because when men start worshipping women and sex, they aren't being men.

 

Key is, forgetting about women for a while, and improving yourself. Constantly become better. Improve the qualities in you that need improving. Get your life together

 

If you have your life together, women and sex WILL come. I guarantee.

 

That is all. Enjoy.

[DropToZero]

Finally...someone else who understands...

 

I thought I was alone on here

[rionmccloud]

Several points could definitely be debated as helpful. Guess it depends on what you want out of life, and actually sharing it with someone for more than a few nights.

[stratguy620]

I agree with some of the points that you made, but, at least for me, the love and compassion, and the sheer joy of being in a fruitful relationship is one of, if not the most satisfying feelings I have experienced. And although I must admit that your "rules" do make sense, they should by no means be strictly followed. Yes, most women prefer a man with a decent body, or with confidence, but they are not requirements. BTW, I noticed one of your mantras mentions "being your own person". It sounds rather strange to me that this would be included in a list of things that is telling me I need to change myself...

[SkyFire]

And although I must admit that your "rules" do make sense, they should by no means be strictly followed. Yes, most women prefer a man with a decent body, or with confidence, but they are not requirements.

 

I believe you completely ignored the point of this post with the highlited statement.

 

First, I never mention any "rules". The one rule that is in play, is being a man. It's a rule of nature. Men are supposed to be men.

 

Second, you are NOT trying to mold into a woman's requirement. Confidence and decent body are things that a MAN should have naturally. And of course, this will make women more attracted because they are attracted to things that make a man.

[stratguy620]

So, if I respect my girlfriend, and make her the most important thing in my life, I am giving up my manhood? How does not taking risks, or masturbating, or relying on my emotions make me not a man? Who the hell says that I "should" have a decent body? For all the women reading this, please realize that this fellow doesn't represent the views of all guys...

 

I found it very funny too...

[HajiMaji]

You are making too big of a deal about this. There is obviously something going on here. Acting like that will only get you some women, and to be honest they will be no good.

 

Act kind and caring and women will mirror that back at you.

[busterkeaton]

Hmmm, seems to me that someone is on a losing streak with the ladies. Some or maybe most) of the things you said are valid but dude, you can't change human nature.

The difference between what is and what should be is as wide as the pacific ocean and always will be.

Perhaps a woman will post a list of what women should do and think and then we will have an equal opportunity laugh about all this.

Viva la difference[/i]

[Shadows Light]

Kinda reminded me of Rudyard Kiplings Poem "IF"

 

Its public Info.. so I'll post it for you.

 

[iF]

 

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you

But make allowance for their doubting too,

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,

If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

 

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much,

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

 

 

--Rudyard Kipling

[DropToZero]

I know the testosterone part seems a little out of wack, but I think what you're interpreting isn't the point he's really trying to get accross.

 

He was talking about bulking up, and you're right, not all men have to be huge(or women for that matter) in order to attract women. Some women aren't attracted to really muscular guys at all, and to some it doesn't even matter. But that doesn't mean when you go to the gym and you see a really muscular guy that's 'cute' in your words you won't look and think he's hot. Just like guys seeing a lean, tan, blue-eyed blond girl that has a nice body won't stop them from looking from time to time.

 

Anyways, the point I think he means in cutting down on masturbation, is so guys will get OUT and stop staying at home in front of their comps watchin porn. The 'idea' of cutting down on masturbation is too realize that as a male you need to get out and date girls, and stop sitting at home in front of the comp. So, the point he has is to let a male's 'drive for sex' drive him into going out and meeting other women. So cutting down, go longer without it, some guys will cut off masturbation until they've had sex I've heard. It's not just a goal, its just a use of 'sexual drive' to go out and actually have sex. I mean, monetlisa, are you more attracted to a guy who sits in front of his porn every other day masturbating and would never want to make love to you, or more attracted to a guy who doesn't do that, takes some intiative and will make love to you on occasion, but always leave you wanting more.

 

I dont really know about the hunting tho man, I'm guessing it's just a more male thing to do even tho I know women that do it too. Male's job is to 'bring home food' for dinner at nite, like if you had to hunt for a living to feed your family. Other than that, if that's not what you mean, you're on your own hehe.

[Markers]

while there's valid ideas behind some of the points in the list that was given, it's just plain absurd to imagine that all you need to do is to meet the expectations of some checklist like that and it'll automatically fulfill your dreams..

 

and well, I found the testosterone -thing to be quite.. imaginative as well

[JC2006]

I found his two main points agreeable:

 

#1 Men shouldn't put women or sex on a pedestal.

#2 Men should act like men, not boys.

 

I consider the rest of the message that wasn't directly related to those two points rubbish.

[darkblue]

I found his two main points agreeable:

 

#1 Men shouldn't put women or sex on a pedestal.

#2 Men should act like men, not boys.

 

I consider the rest of the message that wasn't directly related to those two points rubbish.

 

I find one of those points agreeable.

 

"(Men) shouldn't put (women) or sex on a pedestal."

 

I don't agree that it's just men. Some women do it, too.

 

I'd change it to:

"Never put the opposite sex on a pedestal or see them as some sort of quasi-God."

[RayKay]

I found his two main points agreeable:

 

#1 Men shouldn't put women or sex on a pedestal.

#2 Men should act like men, not boys.

 

I consider the rest of the message that wasn't directly related to those two points rubbish.

 

Ditto to that

[darkblue]

Men should act like men not boys

 

What's meant by that?

That men act childish?

[JC2006]

Boys are looking for a mother. Men are looking for something else.

[darkblue]

Boys are looking for a mother. Men are looking for something else.

 

What kind of things would you do with your mother

 

I disagree with that statement...

Not all 'boys' are looking for attention or a caring and nurturing female in their lives.

[JC2006]

This isn't about incest, wiseguy. It's about maturity. Then again, maybe you're too young to understand.

[darkblue]

(EDIT) [self-withdrawn, disrespectful]

[Shadows Light]

Boys are looking for a mother. Men are looking for something else.

 

Ok.. I'll have to disagree with you on this one. At one time I would have agreed with you. However, I do know some men.. that are like little boys.. in terms of "growing old is inevitable and growing up is optional" these guys balance it out... and they have their "little boy" playful moments. But as far as being MEN. They have their Manly man side of them too and know how and when to take care of business without being told.

 

There ARE THOSE men though.. who need MOMMY'S. They need mommy to cook and clean and take care of them. They need mommy to scold them to tell them WHAT needs to get done and to be directed. A pile of garbage would need to hit them dead on in the forehead before they realized it was there or did anything with it. More than likely they would just clear a path through it rather than clean it up. These are the boys .. who play and play and play. The need to have thier clothes set out for them and be told what to do and when to do it. And the WIVES are like MOMMY's with OPTIONS. WE do evreything that mommy did with the option of SEX. When they want it. How they want it. And on demand. Notice I said... "THEY". These are the "little boys" I think the poster was referring to DARK BLUE. - Reading your previous posts.. you may not relate.. you don't apear to be a neaderathral throw-back of a man-child. LOL. (That was a compiment sweet-heart...you arn't like that)

 

Me.. I prefer the former. The one that knows when to have fun and how to play. But then .. knows when its time to be a grown up and do what needs to be done to take care of "HIMSELF" and his family.

[darkblue]

Boys are looking for a mother. Men are looking for something else.

 

Ok.. I'll have to disagree with you on this one. At one time I would have agreed with you. However, I do know some men.. that are like little boys.. in terms of "growing old is inevitable and growing up is optional" these guys balance it out... and they have their "little boy" playful moments. But as far as being MEN. They have their Manly man side of them too and know how and when to take care of business without being told.

 

There ARE THOSE men though.. who need MOMMY'S. They need mommy to cook and clean and take care of them. They need mommy to scold them to tell them WHAT needs to get done and to be directed. A pile of garbage would need to hit them dead on in the forehead before they realized it was there or did anything with it. More than likely they would just clear a path through it rather than clean it up. These are the boys .. who play and play and play. The need to have thier clothes set out for them and be told what to do and when to do it. And the WIVES are like MOMMY's with OPTIONS. WE do evreything that mommy did with the option of SEX. When they want it. How they want it. And on demand. Notice I said... "THEY". These are the "little boys" I think the poster was referring to DARK BLUE. - Reading your previous posts.. you may not relate.. you don't apear to be a neaderathral throw-back of a man-child. LOL. (That was a compiment sweet-heart...you arn't like that)

 

Me.. I prefer the former. The one that knows when to have fun and how to play. But then .. knows when its time to be a grown up and do what needs to be done to take care of "HIMSELF" and his family.

 

Agreed in full.

And I'll take it as a compliment if it was intended so

 

- "wiseguy"

[Dating Coach]

The original post is not meant to be taken literal. Did the OP write this himself? I am sure I've read that elsewhere....

 

What is important about the original post is not the little things that catch your attention, it's the general point. The point is that men these days are doormats.

 

Too many so called "Nice Guys" act like they have zero needs or wants outside of pleasing the object of their affection, and that is why they struggle at dating. No respectful woman wants a partner that acts like she is better than him, that acts like her needs are more important than his own. Women want a partner, an equal, someone that will challenge her as she challenges him. If all you do is try to please a girl, and you don't want her mad at you so you cater to her, then you are nothing but a spineless doormat that will be taken advantage of, and discarded.

 

Of course none of this has to do with eating meat and working out, but what the original point was, is that men have lost what it is to be men during this age of woman empowerment. IMO there is nothing wrong with women empowerment... other then the message that men get from women. Women are some of the most misleading and hard to understand creatures on the planet. I don't think that they even understand themselves in a lot of ways.

Men these days are flooded with romance movies or shows where men ridiculously humiliate themselves to catch a woman's fancy, and it's just silly.

 

You want a funny analogy that surprisingly hits close to home? I call it the Anakin Skywalker versus Han Solo syndrome. As funny as it sounds, it actually holds a lot of truth to it.

 

The whole point is that in dating, be Han Solo. Think about it.

 

There are two trilogies here, the originals, and the prequels. In both trilogies there is a love story. The original has Han Solo and Princess Leia whereas the prequels have Anakin Skywalker and Senator Amidala. These two trilogies approached their love stories in two completely different ways, and it is no surprise to me that the reviews of the Skywalker/Padme love story said that it simply didn't have spark, it wasn't believable, and it just didn't sell. Why? Have you seen it?

 

Anakin Skywalker is your prototypical "Nice Guy". Anakin is so overwhelmed by Padme (like most "Nice Guys" to their crush) that he acts like a baby. He whines and cries to her, complaining that they cannot be together, spilling his guts, professing his love, etc-all of the thigns that reak of desperation. Not only that, but he doesn't even stand up for himself with her. Remember the scene where Padme is sent back to Naboo and the council had just convened? There was a conversation where one councilman asked Anakin Skywalker for his opinion. Anakin starts to answer but Padme cuts him off, tells everyone that Anakin isn't even a Jedi yet and basically shouldn't have an opinion, basically disrespecting him and humiliating him. Anakin starts to grow a pair, but as soon as Padme raises her voice Anakin backs off like a little puppy dog. WTF! SHE disrespected HIM! He had EVERY RIGHT to be pissed!

Anakin IS the Nice Guy. He's a doormat to Padme, and that's why it is so unbelievable that this supposed love story took place. There is no way she would have respected him enough to fall in love with him.

 

Then there is Han Solo and Princess Leia... If Anakin had been in this movie and had a crush on Leia instead, then Leia probably would have told Anakin ALL ABOUT THAT JERK HAN SOLO... Han and Leia battle it out quite a few times. Neither of them will tolerate being treated with lack of respect and constantly call each other out on it. No doubt that if Leia had a best guy friend who had a secret crush on her, then he probably was her shoulder to cry on when being upset at that "Jerk" Han Solo. That "Nice Guy" friend with the secret crush on Leia probably thought Han Solo was a complete jerk! I bet he would have been furious to find out that Leia fell for Han... How did this happen?

Han Solo is a man's man, the alpha male. Han does what Han wants to do and he doesn't put up with anyone's BS, least of all the woman he loves. Whereas the Nice Guy would put up with the woman he loves crap above all others, but Han puts up with hers least. Yes... Leia was frustrated at Han, Leia got mad at Han, but Leia definitely respected Han... she had to. Han had confidence and self respect. THAT draws women, not the clingy needy whiney lovey dovey nice guy crap. A man needs to be a man, especially to his women. He must not only be willing to risk all to fight FOR her, but he also must be willing to risk all to fight AGAINST her. Just like Han. Otherwise you will not be commanding anyone's self respect.

 

So, be Han Solo, not Anakin Skywalker.

[Dating Coach]

By the way, the so called "Nice Guy" created the myth of "Women want Jerks" because they just didn't understand the truth.

 

The truth is that women don't like jerks, that is only a misconception. Think about who this Nice Guy is. This Nice Guy is usually the guy who has a crush on the girl, he hangs out with the girl, all the while the girl is dating and seeing other men. Since this Nice Guy is such a buddy to her (her emotional tampon) he gets to hear all of her venting when she is upset or frustrated. So no doubt that this Nice Guy has heard all about the new guy she is dating and the fights that this guy and her have had. The Nice Guy thinks that she is so great so there is NO WAY that he is going to even attempt to question her or stick up for the dumb guy that he is jealous of. Instead, he fills his own mind up with this "one side of the story" crap and believes it. Was the guy really a jerk like she told her malegirlfriend? Maybe, but more likely not...

 

What very easily could have happened, was that this so called "Jerk" isn't a jerk at all, but just isn't a doormat. Maybe he won't tolerate her disrespecting him or getting mad at him and causing drama over little crap. Maybe he stands up for himself and she gets frustrated. When this so called jerk leaves, she vents to her male girlfriend. She's probably used to getting her way with guys because there will always be a male girlfriend Nice Guy ready to do whatever she wants, who is always there to please her or follow her around like a trained puppydog.

 

So yeah, she will vent to the nice guy, use him as an emotional tampon and complain about that "jerk" boyfriend, but the reality is that she doesn't have any attraction to that doormat guy, no matter how hard he tries to show her that he will be a tame little nice puppy dog. She's attracted to the guy who respects himself, the guy who is a man and won't let people boss him around or disrespect him. This self confident jerk doesn't need her approval to be happy, and he doesn't need her relationship either because he is so self confident that he knows he can be happy without her or anyone elses approval. Then there's the Nice Guy who NEEDS her approval... sheesh...

 

Some guys of course really are jerks, but even still, the girl isn't too likely to leave that guy and head to the arms of her long time tame puppy dog unless it's to use him to vent. She is far more likely to seek romantic comfort back in the arms of someone who respects themselves.

[DJG]

SkyFire, you have a great point with first statement.I totally agree that sex with or without a relationship dominating somebody's life will only get you more addicted on this same thing till you're a mess.Very few can balance their priorities as they wish so, let's say, career or intimacy needs to come first.

I know that some posters might call me unpleasant things after saying the following but: sometimes i wonder how world, pop culture would look without overobsessive propaganda of natural things such as scr*wing.Now it's getting absurd, funny and even scary.

[CaptainPlanet]

Really, laughable, what is the point of being a traditional man ? A whole lot of hard work for no real gain. I can be a customer service assistant for almost the same rate as a day labourer, it is really laughable. Being manly won't make girls like you attraction is still about good looks and money, things that are often associated with manliness but that do not come from it.

 

Datingcoach Anakin Skywalker was much more manly that Solo who was nothing more than a cookie cutter pin up boy who got the girl handed to him in the end. Anakin had to work hard and made the most of a bumpy ride, he might not have been perfect but he did the right thing in the end.