it seems like it is easier 4 girls, then guys!!!!!!!!!

[kantore]

Why is it that it is so hard for me to get over my ex? But it is not just me who is having a problem with this. It seems like all ex bf's have a much harder time getting over there ex gf's!!

 

Is this cause girls are more emotionally connected to there friends? So it is easier for them to find support when they feel down and out?

 

I mean I have not been with my ex for over a yr, and we have not spoken for 2 months, and i am having a hard time dealing with this. In fact I feel pathetic, that it is taking so long to move on.

 

Also on a side note, 2 months is not that long to not have any contact with someone, is it?

[sisterlynch]

I think that you are right and the reasons given are correct!!

 

I believe that men think that emotions are for women and they should just tough it out. This is not correct, men have feelings too.

 

Once you find that special someone, it is difficult to let go of how you felt about him or her. That is why I hardly ever recommend breaking up over a small infidelity. The next one will have a difficult time living up to your own expectations.

[kdreger]

First off, 2 months is a lifetime when you're in love with that person. I thought 2 weeks was a long time!

 

Secondly, there's a rule of thumb that it's far easier for women because a woman can get a guy faster than a guy can get a woman. Let's be honest, a woman can get laid any day of the week she wants - there will *always* be offers out there. Not so with guys.

 

Lastly, grieving over a lost relationship is different for everyone. A year is a long time, you're only hurting yourself now. Try become friends with her as then you can look back at it as a learning experience and you got a close friend from it. You have to let go

[kddmsu]

It's not an issue between gender but rather the type of personality and emotional level. I am female and it takes me longer than most of my male friends to get over a relationship gone wrong. I mean I could easily say, why is it so easy for males to find a new g/f, but that is not the case. It depends on the person!!! But after a year I don't think that you are allowing yourself to accept the fact that the relationship is over. I mean you will hit the point where you realize that your ex and you probably aren't getting back together and from then you will be ready to meet someone new. You just need to focus on yourself and do what makes you feel good, be selfish. Open yourself up and allow yourself to endulge in the world around you, even if you are afraid of getting hurt again......because if you don't, you will never be truley happy with yourself. And honestly that should be the most important goal in your life, to be happy with yourself. It takes time for everyone and everyone has there own way of dealing with things.

[solstice48]

It may not be a gender thing but I think a lot of men hold in their emotions much of the time, and/or are not really aware of them. I guess that's why women seem to be more emotional & want men to open up. Unfortunetly it sometimes takes a major event for men to really start feeling what they've had inside all along & in cases like relationship break ups those feelings are real & painful! Since women deal more in emotions than men maybe they're more experienced or more qualified to accept things like letting go. But I think the pain is there in women & men it's just to what degree they feel it by their emotional make up. Just my thoughts.

[deSilva]

Don't forget the fact that when a women dumps you, you're stuck with your sorrow and feeling bad for yourself, making it HARD to go out and make new connections, and to get a date. To get a woman you have to be at your best, right?.

 

The woman just have to go down to the local cafè and at least one man approach her!

 

Because the men have to risk rejection by approaching a woman, the woman don't risk anything. She can choose to go out with you or not. How often does men get that option? not often if you're not a famous movie star!

[sisterlynch]

The other thing is that men tend to turn to their wife or girlfriend to help them work through their emotional issues, so when a man misses his woman, he not only misses the warmth that he was given by her, he also misses his sole emotional sounding board in many cases.

[2clueless]

I would tend to disagree, I find that many men tend to move on much faster by filling the void with another women...or by having the rebound relationship. I have seen 4 of my guy friends recently not including my ex move right into a new relationship or dating just weeks after breaking up...and they were all in very serious relationships.

 

Maybe it is just my friends but I find that quite a few men will pick up a girl, not only to fill there time but the empty feelings they have, and also for sexual reasons. Not to say they will not miss there ex or feel loss later on, but most of the men I know dismiss these feelings while it would hurt the most.

 

I find that women are picker with moving on because either they were badly hurt or they are looking for a certain standard. I also thinks that it makes a little but of differance what side you were on wether you are the dumpee or the dumper - not to say that it will not hurt for both parties, but I think the one doing the dumping has time to mentally prepare themselves in advance for the breakup making it easier on them.

 

Just my thoughts