I dont know what to do.

[nikkers04]

I love Kevin my ex fiance with all my heart. Its been 2 months since he broke up with me...because he wants to be single...He keeps telling me that he doens't want a relationship with me but he doen'st want a relationship with any other girl for that matter. I still cry over him almost everyday I'm tired of feeling this way but I can't seem to let him go. I want to try try try and I feel i'm not trying hard enough yet i'm scared its only forcing him away.

All he wants is his space...for me to not get mad when he doesn't return my calls not to get mad when he doesn't want to hang out...How can I not?? You guys have to help me not get so jelous and mad when he hurts my feelings....explain how to just "Blow it off" Or at least show him that i'm blowing it off even if I have to releive the pressure else where....any ideas on how to help save the relationship and control my temper

Thanks so much it means alot to me

[lady00]

I agree with you that trying to get back with him is probably pushing him further away. People like to feel free to make their own decisions. Give him his space and do not be so available to him...get busy doing other things. I realize that it will be hard...breaking up is usually really tough. Honestly, I don't know what you can do to get back with him, but I do know that getting upset at him and being so available and not giving him space are things that you need to stop doing because they hurt both of you (you because he rejects you and him because he feels pressured by you). You need to de-tox from your ex...cut him off. Don't talk to him for a while. By this, I don't mean, forget about him or give up all hope. I just mean, give him what he wants. Give him space. You need to start thinking of him as an ex who doesn't owe you anything rather than as someone who is obliged to pay attention to you and return your calls in a timely manner.

 

Think about this: do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? No. You want someone who would be happy to get your calls and spend time with you. Right now, that's not your ex. Who knows what the future holds. Maybe you will get back together. But maybe you won't. You need to try to detach yourself from your ex (physically stop contacting him...emotional detachment is impossible at this point but it will come over time).

 

There is nothing you can do to make him come back. However, there are things you can do to push him away and you summed those things up yourself. If he is to return, he needs to feel that he is freely making all his decisions and that there is no pressure from you and that when/if you do talk you are friendly and happy. Unfortunately, there are things you should not do, but there isn't much that you should do in order to cause him to return. I hope that helps a little.

 

What you're going through is tough. Stay strong...it will get better!

[RayKay]

nikkers....

 

Honestly, I think the best way for you to do this is begin to realize that for one you don't have, and you can't control him and the situation anymore. All you can do is control how you react to it. You have to kind of trust it to happen as it should, and leave it to the powers that be.

 

I am not religious by any means, but I have learned that the universe guides things in strange ways. That we can't control everything that will happen in our lives, or how we want things to be. All we can do is do the best with what we have.

 

You need to learn to let go, you need to start thinking of this relationship in a differnet way - not as if a temporary seperation, but more of a final chapter. Maybe he will come back, maybe he won't...but you cannot control what happens. Chances are, if you heal, you may realize that you need someone whom is more certain of their feelings - I mean don't you deserve someone whom will follow through on their commitment to you? if he runs away NOW, before you are even married, what will happen when the truly rough stuff in life happens to you two? Can he really be the one whom will work through those things together?

 

Start learning not to have hope and faith in HIM, but have faith and hope in YOURSELF, your own beauty, abilities, uniqueness, learn to see that YOU deserve more than this, and you are too special to be chasing after someone whom does not see how amazingly special you are, at least not to point where they seem to be willing to commit to you.

[dreamy333]

let me tell you something. when he calls you you answer asap right.. and he dont even return your phone calls? sound like you care more than him. also let me tell you when guys say that they dont want to be with anyone else thats bull they might not want a serious relationship. i was engaged to a guy we dated 5 years he said he didnt want commitment. he didnt want nobody else.. 6 months later hes married. im not saying its like that with you but what i am saying is that if he wanted to be with you he would. you deserve someone who wants you. my advice date around your young. you dont know what you want yet...you think its him but it probally isnt

[cinderella jones]

I know what it is like to feel pain and hurt when someone you care about seems to just want to push you away. The truth is, everyone's advice here is so true. Keep yourself busy. Show him that you also have a life and that there are many things you are looking forward to. Don't give him all of that energy that he clearly doesn't deserve. Don't get me wrong everyone has a right to feel a certain way whether they want marriage or not..or for that matter a relationship, but it should never be at your expense. Follow your instincts. I personally believe that when people are in a relationship returning calls and asking questions shouldn't be so hard to do. If this guy is getting annoyed at you because of such things and you know in your heart that you are not asking or doing those things out of malice, then maybe you should question him about how he perceives how a relationship should work. maybe his idea of a relationship doesn't agree with what you want out of a relationship...respect what you want and go after that..don't settle for less.